I have a problem with a teacher?!


Question: For about 4 months now, I have had to see a teacher at my school every Friday and Monday Lunchtime to discuss my "problems". For the first few months I really needed it, and it helped me alot, but now I really don't need to go anymore. I used to self-harm see, so I was getting thearpy outside school, they have discharged me and I'm considered back to normal again.
This teacher though, she has become very attached to me, and she thinks I'm just trying to make her life easier when I tell her I'm ok. I've told her I've been discharged, and every week I say I'm fine. But she just keeps wanting to talk to me. When I go, she tells me alot of her problems too. But the thing is, she's a teacher, I'm a student. Anyway, the question is, how can I tell her that I'm really fine now, and I don't need to keep coming to see her? I'm open to talking once in a while, but not as much as I do. I'm 15, she is 28.


Answers: For about 4 months now, I have had to see a teacher at my school every Friday and Monday Lunchtime to discuss my "problems". For the first few months I really needed it, and it helped me alot, but now I really don't need to go anymore. I used to self-harm see, so I was getting thearpy outside school, they have discharged me and I'm considered back to normal again.
This teacher though, she has become very attached to me, and she thinks I'm just trying to make her life easier when I tell her I'm ok. I've told her I've been discharged, and every week I say I'm fine. But she just keeps wanting to talk to me. When I go, she tells me alot of her problems too. But the thing is, she's a teacher, I'm a student. Anyway, the question is, how can I tell her that I'm really fine now, and I don't need to keep coming to see her? I'm open to talking once in a while, but not as much as I do. I'm 15, she is 28.

This teacher is not understanding her boundaries. She is being quite inappropriate with you.
You need to be very clear with her that you will not be coming in to see her about your issues. If she starts to talk about her problems let her know that it is uncomfortable for you.
If you feel that she is not respecting how you feel then get your parents or guardians involved. Don't feel that you need to handle this on your own.
Before I had my children I was a Senior High School Chaplain. I would never discuss my issues with the students I counselled. It would not have been appropriate.
I hope you are able to resolve this soon. Well done for seeking help with regard to your self-harming. It's great to hear that you have worked through your issues and feel o.k.

Sounds like she needs you more than you need her at this point. Be a friend and listen to her problems. Old people need someone to listen every once in a while as well.

You are 15 and your parents may be involved in this behind the scenes, talk to them first and get them to sort it out for you. This is the best way, and much as I know that you 'know' you are capable of deciding what is right for you, you are still young and developing. Communicate with your family and get them to help you on this one.

You sound like a very rational person, so keep everything friendly and calm, just end it peacefully and get on with life :-)

Good luck!

Dont tell, show how ur ok.

Have to watch of a Teacher doesn't over step the Boundaries.
School is school
Teachers home life is to remain at home

Teachers are human and develop attachments to students -- sometimes really caring about them as people and wanting the best for them.

However, I would discuss this issue with your school's counsellor or another teacher-- the bond that your teacher is imposing doesn't seem healthy, nor is it balanced. She is not there to be your friend or to tell you her troubles and if she's making you uncomfortable (you don't even have to know WHY) it's a signal that you need different boundaries and you certainly shouldn't feel that you need to continue seeing her other than for study related issues. (Especially if you have therapy outside of school.)
It's perfectly healthy for you to establish independence and not want to talk as often -- if she resists or makes it personal, talk to your parents and school counselor.

she thinks u r attached to her maybe it is because u have been with her for such a long time. if u dont feel u need to see her, dont. it is just a matter of want and dont. good luck!

hmm, it sounds like you have to make up a proof & that you're really fine. lucky you, i still have many mental issues.
how about this: ask your therapist to write you a note for your teacher that you're really fine.

Ask your parents, or another person older than u who u trust. it sounds like she needs help, no teacher should throw their problems on a student. Be friendly to her, chat every no and again, but do something bout it. she needs to know tht u r not a counsellor!!

Just tell you you don't need that close of supervision and support anymore and tell you you are not coming in and then don't go. You may want to say something about checking in every 6 weeks and if problems occur you will be in earlier.

This is not an appropriate relationship. She is taking advantage of her position of power as a teacher to make you do something you don't feel comfortable doing. She may be honestly trying to help you, but she needs to respect your boundaries.. Please speak privately to your school counselor &/or your parents about this matter. You should not be made to participate in an activity that doesn't feel right to you..





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