I need advice about skizophrenia?!
Question: I was first diagnosed with skitzophrenia at fifteen when I underwent a massive personality change due to my inability to cope with the forces in the world I deemed threatening.
This second incarnation of myself was manic, paranoid and desperate. I existed in this form for six years before my nature almost got me killed by being tortured.
This triggered my second transformation and I became a very calm, rational and even tempered person, for whom reason and knowledge took presidence. I was unable however to let my emotions go and even in the most stressful experiences was unable to act effectively since logic dictated otherwise.
This did not stop me from being happy however and I became a trusted and valued friend to those who knew me - despite being known as push-over due to my stunted emotions.
Lately this aspect has been taken advantage of to the extreme and one individual has take it upon himself to destroy everything I have in my life for his own enjoyment.
1 mo.
Answers: I was first diagnosed with skitzophrenia at fifteen when I underwent a massive personality change due to my inability to cope with the forces in the world I deemed threatening.
This second incarnation of myself was manic, paranoid and desperate. I existed in this form for six years before my nature almost got me killed by being tortured.
This triggered my second transformation and I became a very calm, rational and even tempered person, for whom reason and knowledge took presidence. I was unable however to let my emotions go and even in the most stressful experiences was unable to act effectively since logic dictated otherwise.
This did not stop me from being happy however and I became a trusted and valued friend to those who knew me - despite being known as push-over due to my stunted emotions.
Lately this aspect has been taken advantage of to the extreme and one individual has take it upon himself to destroy everything I have in my life for his own enjoyment.
1 mo.
First of all, I am not so sure that you are schizophrenic, but rather you sound like you suffer from a dual personality disorder,...I know someone who is the same way, who has two distinct personalities, one that is kind and humble and meek, and the other, calloused, evil and dangerous..the side that was developed to defend and conquer,..so that no one could hurt him anymore,..The only thing that is going to really help you, in spite of what any doctor or 'friend' says, it if you have a personal relationship with God and Jesus, with Them, all things are possible,...I am sorry that your so called friends are mocking you, a true friend as you know wouldn't do this..Hold your head up high, and do everything you can to make this person invisible in your mind,..you are already suffering,why allow their heartless words to continue to bury you? Please, I knew of a man who started taking a bible study, and got baptized, and the voices disappeared,...he achieved calmness...with God, He can heal anyone and anything.,..if you truly have faith and believe...just Call on Him, ...My prayers are with you that your suffering ends soon. x
Plain and simple. Your meds are not working now. This is common. Go inpatient and get stabilized again. You will be happy for it. These things you describe may nor may not be reality. I nwo Siz's are super sensitve , So give yorself a break and check in for a rest from it. A hospital will protect you. ON a 2nd note, if you sign yourself in, you can sign yourself out. If you get taken into a hosp., it will be harder to get out of that hosp. So go for it, give yourself that "break/ vacation" you need. Andif you want, they can place you somewhere safer than with an abusive roomate, right? Right!
10 AM PST, US:
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I totally believe your meds never worked. Not even marginally? That's a shame. So sad, that you have been battling this for so long. As far as paranoid, if people ARE really after you with knives as you say, you should go to the police. If you have pent up anger as you say and have been letting things go and build up, would it hurt you to go inpatient? And if so, in what exact ways would it hurt you? List them down for yourslf. Also list down what would be good about it. See what list is longer. It is the routine for peole with your Dx, so that is why I sugested it.With that Dx, typically it is 50/50 situation on the reality part thing. I know a girl who got fairly stable a few times and thes rest of her life is simply a nightmare (literally). Her voices are not nice and that is the least of her hallucinations. Imagine not being able to get our of a horror movie. My suggestions were not and are not personal: it is simply about a 3 pound organ, the brain organ. It's like getting stabilized for diabetes (pancreas organ). Or getting anger management classes. I'd get it onthe record if I were you just in case. I've had vivid dreams that I had to ask others if I really experienced them, so I always have pity on peole who are having scary times, whether or not they are real. LiIke I said before, this could be your easy way out, they like to place S people in strucutred environments so none of this abuse can happen. And you get group, you get to share, you get help with stuff. Same thing if your have alcholism. You can get help with stuff. Or if yoru legs don't work right, you can get help with stuff. I still encourage you to get local help, rather than "become" what you say you can 'become". You said. "It wil be violent, angry, heartless and pyschotic," not me. If you are being pushed to this unaccepable state, get help at the local mental health clinic or call the police to get you out of the situation. You must get out of the situation at least for a short while, to avoid becoming "violent, angry, heartless and pyschotic." It's just logical. People slashing you with knives is not legal. Would calling the cops help? Can you move back home? Can you couch it soewhere till the stress dies down? I'm just asking you what your options are. It could help to make a lit of your options, an possibly check out some more options. So sorry about your meds not working never working, at least you can type. Mu poor friends has no interst in typing any more. Btw, fyi, she batlles people with knives all day every day and they are not there. She got Dx'd at age 19. Prayers won't hurt either. But consider callingyour local crisis hot line, too, espcially before you do ANYTHING violent. The police could come and put YOU in jail. Or you could get hurt or killed. If I could physically help you, I would. I think you should call someone. Write down all your options. (What state are you in?)
schizophrenia is a form of madness with a title..as someone once said we are all mad to some degree..some more than others..
They are not true friends. They seem to be users of people such as yourself. I would begin distancing myself from them, politely, but firmly, saying you want to spend more time alone, thinking about your life, your future, and other things. You really need your condition diagnosed expertly, because it may well not be schizotypal in nature. If that is the case, no wonder you weren't helped by those medications you took. See in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated, and it will give purpose to your life, as well as helping others. Many lasting friendships start this way, and you are far less likely to be taken advantage of. Learn to say no, when necessary, and how to be assertive: the websites in section 38 address this topic.
These people are not your friends, if they were they wouldn't treat you in this way and would understand your situation.
Is there anyone you trust and whom you can speak to? Sit down with them and speak to them, with any luck you will be able to overcome this and get yourself back on the straight and narrow.
Good luck
My heart goes out to you my dear friend! My son had this disorder and was beaten and taken advantage of by his stupid and cruel friends! These people may burn for their careless deeds. However you are not entirely to blame. Some nasty immature folks are attracted to those like you who are vulnerable like a cat to a bird with a broken wing. Those Cretans have NO humanity. I shall say a prayer for you if you will PLEASE give me your real first name. Peace&Love be with you...~M~
PS. My dear son who suffered as you have committed suicide at the tender age of 20. I do not want this to happen to you!!!!
Suedarn has the right answer for you - follow that advice as soon as possible.
i have been in your shoes TOTALLY munn !!!
i will send you privately to your e-mail but for now i would tell all this to a professional psychiatrist and meanwhile pray your soul out to whoever gods you believe in !!!
perhaps being christian for a while will help you !!! i was a devout catholic for 39 years and it certainly kept ME out of trouble and QUITE PEACEFUL just like some of these christian people are telling you to do---work on your self for a few years munn !! I spent 10 long years in therapy myself and the GOD !!@!(*%$$#@!!! PILLS never did ^%^$!!@@!! to me !!!
then i discovered BI POLAR meds and i have been totally happy ever since !!!
i will send you more info to your e-mail address !!!