Why can't i accept my friend?!
Question: I have a anxiety disorder with a VERY low self esteem. I hate myself and think i am a horrible person so when people try to make friends with me i don't understand why, then i push them away. Stupid really because i have never felt so lonely at the moment. I told someone at work what was going on and they had been so helpful, took me to the doctors and listened to me when i needed it most. They have been there non stop even through my 'crazy' moments and they have never judged me. Anyway i have thoughts in my head constantly that they are just being nice and that we are not friends, why would they want to be friends with me and because of these thoughts i have pushed the person away and i don't know how to make things right. I am always pushing them away and now i am scared i have ruined it. I don't have many friends left as it is, what can i do? I don't want to ring/text them anymore because they are probably sick of me, help please
Answers: I have a anxiety disorder with a VERY low self esteem. I hate myself and think i am a horrible person so when people try to make friends with me i don't understand why, then i push them away. Stupid really because i have never felt so lonely at the moment. I told someone at work what was going on and they had been so helpful, took me to the doctors and listened to me when i needed it most. They have been there non stop even through my 'crazy' moments and they have never judged me. Anyway i have thoughts in my head constantly that they are just being nice and that we are not friends, why would they want to be friends with me and because of these thoughts i have pushed the person away and i don't know how to make things right. I am always pushing them away and now i am scared i have ruined it. I don't have many friends left as it is, what can i do? I don't want to ring/text them anymore because they are probably sick of me, help please
It's your negative thoughts taking over and making you feel this way again. I doubt they are sick of you, they have helped you all this time and want to see you feeling better about yourself. Although you doubt it, what these friends have done shows how much they care. They worry about how you feel and long to see you smiling and happy with who you are. Don't worry about contacting them, they will be more worried if they don't hear from you! Push these negative feelings aside, even just to send a quick text. You may feel you have 'gone too far' this time but with all the trouble they have gone to, it's obvious that what they would like to hear most is that you're okay and that you're grateful for their support.
Good luck and i hope you are feeling more positive soon. You sound like a really nice person and i hope you see that one day soon! x
Wow, I'm so sorry.....
I think the best thing for you to do is to sit your friend/s down and tell them about your problem so that they are aware that you are going to have these feelings. Hopefully they will understand. Are you on any meds for this? Maybe that would be a good idea, go to see a Psychiatrist and maybe a counselor.
Good Luck
Momma P
the best thing i can say is to accept who you are and stop being so hard on youself. if the person is wanting to hang out with you, and they know your problems, they have already accepted you for who you are. hope this helped!
Your doing OK.
Just text them "Thanks"
That one word will say a lot.
just ask them for their help, they should be accepting and happy to help someone why is in need of support and you should appaligize to them they are trying their best to help you they are friends and they will be kind and caring to you just calm yourself and acknowledge that there is a possibility that someone has the right idea and they try and try to help someone who is having trouble. i will always be here if you need anything (someone to talk to, and to have as support) i will always help you to the best of my abilities. for that i am at your side any time you need me to be there. i will be.
If they are genuine they will stick by you no matter what. I doubt they are sick of you if they have understood you before. Iv'e been in the same situation myself, try telling them how you feel, have a heart to heart, but let them know how you feel. If i were them i'd be more worried about not hearing from you at all, i'm sure they'll support you, just text them and if you feel up to it, have a chat. If they can't be there for you in your time of need their not worth it, but you wont know unless you try. Good luck.
You are not alone, many people suffer from Anxiety. Have you been medicated for it, if not you will want to see a doctor. Eating the right foods is also a factor you can go on-line to webmd.com and get information. Exercise is also a factor, start out with a short walk taking in some fresh air. If you have an mp3 player put on some encouraging music and listen to while you clean house, walking, and at bedtime. People want to help you, allow them to you cannot do this alone. If they are offering their help it is because they are concerned and somewhat know what to expect. This is not going to last forever, you just have to get started to a healthier you.
trying to understand that people want to speak to you because you are just you will be the hardest thing for you to do with having such low self esteem. but once u reach the stage that is when you will actually not really care and it will just come naturally.
A friend told me a great techneque, sounds silly but really worked for me.............
U look in the mirror every morning and every night and imagine that u have an oak seed inside of yourself and u have to love and take care of it to make it grow. so every day you are loving yourself and everyday your tree/love will grow into something beautiful.
best of luck
just accept who you are. Everyone has their weakness and strength. Your friends actually care about you. You keep thinking like this cause you don't want to feel the negative effect of getting close to someone. You just lack trust that all.
you'll know your true friends in the end by the ones who stick around, soon you'll see