Am i going through depression?!
Question: ive noticed since i started my junior yeah ive lost interest in stuff ive loved before, i feel paranoid that people dont like me, no matter what i do im always doing somehting wrong, i dont deserve anything good. well mostly this has been happening since ive had a bad relationship i was in an abusive relationship and now i dont feel like i can trust anyone anymore. that relationships are worthless and guys use me. ive just started being friends with benefits with a guy friend and its hard for me since i was used before. i dont know whats wrong ever since that last relationship i snap more i dont trust and its been a month and i dont feel any better. i cant help but feel bad for who i am feel like im not good enough. is there a way i can get rid of these feelings. its liek the girl i used to be is gone and i don't know where she went. im not as bubbly anymore i show it to people but its not me, ill let myself get used, and i snap easily at others when i dont mean to. i lose sleep and it
Answers: ive noticed since i started my junior yeah ive lost interest in stuff ive loved before, i feel paranoid that people dont like me, no matter what i do im always doing somehting wrong, i dont deserve anything good. well mostly this has been happening since ive had a bad relationship i was in an abusive relationship and now i dont feel like i can trust anyone anymore. that relationships are worthless and guys use me. ive just started being friends with benefits with a guy friend and its hard for me since i was used before. i dont know whats wrong ever since that last relationship i snap more i dont trust and its been a month and i dont feel any better. i cant help but feel bad for who i am feel like im not good enough. is there a way i can get rid of these feelings. its liek the girl i used to be is gone and i don't know where she went. im not as bubbly anymore i show it to people but its not me, ill let myself get used, and i snap easily at others when i dont mean to. i lose sleep and it
You seem to be experiencing some post traumatic stress. Your feelings of paranoia probably have more to do with this strange new feeling about yourself. Your trust has been broken and you need to find a way to get it back. You are overly guarded and defensive and everything seems to set you off, like you expect it to happen again, at any time.
This is a form of depression. The experience has traumatized you. You won't be able to adjust and find a new relationship until you can resolve this conflict, set that burden down and walk away from it. If you got some antidepressants, I think that would be a good idea. It would help calm you down and help to take some of that edginess away. Feeling bad about yourself reflects that inner conflict between something that makes you feel very bad, and the confusion that you are not a bad person because of it.
You are sad, obsessively so, and it won't go away with prayer or with a lot of luck, but it can go away. You can, in time, get over this. But you need help, you can't do it with willpower alone, the burden is too much for you. In time, you can learn to trust again. I know, it does happen. But it won't happen over night and you may also need to talk about it to understand more of those signals that got you in this situation in the first place.
Often, abusers, give off powerful warning signals.You will need to learn the ropes. You can't go there anymore. It won't agree with you. You wouldn't want to take that chance again. But no one said you can't find someone that will be good to you. Knowledge is power. Learn to read the writing on the wall and if he goes bad, be ready to get out of there, and walk away as soon as possible. You can learn more from reading up on the subject and/or join and internet support group. Relearn how to trust your better instincts.
You made the mistake of putting up with that when you should have walked away. The onus is on him to make it right. If he won't, feeling guilt and sadness will not protect you from this happening again. Probably nothing will ever change him, he will always be this way. He will just find someone else to abuse. He is not, nor never was your problem. Learn to separate the two. You don't need that. You never did.
I hope this helps you.
Yes, losing interest in things and personality changes are definite signs of depression. I'd talk to a therapist, who may either prescribe you some medication, have you talk to someone about your feelings regularly, or both. Since you have been through a lot lately, however, you could just be trying to get over that- it's bad mood because of the circumstances, not an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. I might try to be single while you get this sorted out. Best of luck and let me know if there's anything I can do.
Why don't you try and forget about guys for a while? Take care of yourself. Get involved in school activities, does your school have a tennis club or softball team? This would serve 2 purposes - you'd get exercise and feel better about yourself and make new friends. You need to make some changes and then you will feel better - and YES you certainly are "good enough"! You can do it - and don't worry, you'll be okay!
I went through the same thing when i was older you need to give it time it wont go away over night.It took me 2 years of being by myself to find out who i was and what i wanted out of life now i am planning my wedding.And as far as the friends go you will make new ones and you probebly wont talk to the old ones in a couple years anyway leave it to something like this to find out who your true friends are you dont need them anyway!