Taking various anxiety and depression meds. How hard is it to get off them in th!


Question: I recently lost my newborn baby. She was born with a congenital heart defect that was not detected until she was 10 days old. I am now suffering from extreme depression and anxiety. I didn't realize the anxiety until I tried to return to work. I couldn't stop crying and all I wanted was to be home where I knew I was safe with my husband. I told my self I was ok, but just didn't FEEL that way inside. Now my doc has me on Effexor XR (75mg), Xanax (.25 - .5mg), Trazodone and occasionally Ambien (10mg) to sleep. I take the Effexor XR everyday. The Xanax makes me feel sleepy and the other two are to sleep so I only take it at night. I have not tried the Trazodone yet. How hard will it be to get off these in the future? We want to have another child, but I know I can't do it with all these feelings and/or on all these meds. I have been going to therapy, but I have never believed they REALLY listen to you, just say, "ya, uh huh, of course, yes, I see.". So how can I get off these meds?

Answers: I recently lost my newborn baby. She was born with a congenital heart defect that was not detected until she was 10 days old. I am now suffering from extreme depression and anxiety. I didn't realize the anxiety until I tried to return to work. I couldn't stop crying and all I wanted was to be home where I knew I was safe with my husband. I told my self I was ok, but just didn't FEEL that way inside. Now my doc has me on Effexor XR (75mg), Xanax (.25 - .5mg), Trazodone and occasionally Ambien (10mg) to sleep. I take the Effexor XR everyday. The Xanax makes me feel sleepy and the other two are to sleep so I only take it at night. I have not tried the Trazodone yet. How hard will it be to get off these in the future? We want to have another child, but I know I can't do it with all these feelings and/or on all these meds. I have been going to therapy, but I have never believed they REALLY listen to you, just say, "ya, uh huh, of course, yes, I see.". So how can I get off these meds?
My sympathy goes out to you, and some experienced advice.

You are dealing with so much at one time. You need to "take it easy". I know, ...l know. The thing is, the more you stress on all and any of this, the sicker your mind and body get.
Try to take it in steps:

1- accept that you suffered a terrible loss. accept the anger and the grief... it will get better, it really will, but only in its own good time. There is nothing you can do but accept and give yourself permission to feel your feelings and know they are natural and God-given for a reason. Fighting this process will only prolong it, and maybe make it all worse. "Taking your mind off it" is the worst advice anyone can give you. Your mind will know when to get off it and will do so all on it's own when it's time.

2- contact a support group for mothers who have also lost a child. They will give you honest, loving, supportive advice. They have felt and are feeling exactly what is happening to you. These groups are everywhere.

3- unless you're one step from homlessness don't even think about going to work right now. believe that your loss and grief
are legitimate and important enough to get the attention they need for you to heal. do your very best to not add any stressors on the load you are bearing already.

4- don't worry about getting off the medicines, you will in good time under doctor's supervision. DO NOT do it on your own- some of them must be withdrawn gradually.
BUT there are a lot of meds on the market, some may work better for you than others, and often they are over-subscribed.
When you are able to you might want to get a second opinion from a psychiatrist if these were prescribed by another kind of doctor. NO, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. It's just that psychiatrists are the most knowledgeable about these meds, other doctors may use them without knowing enough about them. If they are prescribed by a psychiatrist, you might consider a consultation with another one. A good doctor is one who will tell you exactly what he is giving you, why, and what you can expect as a result; that doctor will also monitor you and tell you to call if you have concerns or experience unexpected side-effects.
BE SURE to use only ONE PHARMACY, preferrably one where you trust the pharmacist. He is the one who can prevent dangerous interactions and he can discuss your concerns with you.

5- Most people who are referred to "therapy" don't understand the process, nor do many "therapists". Finding the right one can be harder than finding the right hairdresser.
Therapy is not about what the therapist says, it is only about what YOU say. The more you open up, the more you say what you think and feel, the clearer your situation will become to you and the more you will know what you need to do. It is necessary to discuss your feelings of guilt, shame, all the things that you hope no one will ever know... the reason is that all those are natural and universal. There is NOTHING in your life that an experienced therapist has not heard before or that will make them judge you or reject you, or shame you.
It is our secrets that make us sick. Think of it as lancing a wound to allow an infection to heal... The thrapist is there as a traffic cop to keep you focused and on track.
you can speed up the process by keeping a totally honest journal that only you will see. Writing down the unhapiness will lead you to think about it, follow your thoughts on paper, it will become like automatic writing and will lead you to solutions, some easy andd some hard. The hardest will be to accept what you cannot change. remember that "bad things happen to good people," there is a book by that name in the library. Also, acceptance does not mean you have to like it. Crying, yelling and screaming are okay, but at a time and place where you will not distress those who love you, which does not include your therapist!

Please believe and trust, this, too, shall pass.
Nature did this so you and the child would be spared the pain that comes with a condition that cannot be cured.
When the time comes you will hold another, healthy baby in your arms. Of that l am sure.
Thank you all for your quick responses to my question... All of them really helped me think of what to do and how to handle this and when/what to expect by slowly going off these meds in the future. Report It

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  • lavieja's Avatar by lavieja
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    • I am a psychiatric nurse of 19 years and I am familiar with all the medications that you are on. The Effexor XR is an anti depressant, the Xanax is for anxiety and can be habit forming, The Trazadone is being used as a sleep agent along with the Ambien. They are all pretty easy to come off of them slowly by taking less and less for about a week. The Xanax if you take for along time and take more than prescribed can cause death when stopping it. Your on a low dosage if your taking a .25mg or .5 mg tables up to 3x per day. So stick with that and you will be just fine. Less than a week to come off of the medications. Talk about the death of your child as much as you can to find peace with it. Read about self comdemnation you can find it on the www. God Bless.
    Don't come off the meds until your doctor thinks it's a good idea.

    I've heard that Effexor is difficult to come off, you have to do it very slowly.

    Please take time to recover your mental health before trying for another baby.
    You have to be weaned off the meds slowly, especially Effexor. I took Effexor for about ten years, many times during which I tried to stop taking them cold turkey and many times it was a bad experience. When I got pregnant and wanted to stop taking Effexor my doctor gave me instructions on how to wean off of it. It went well that way and I didn't experience the withdrawal symptoms. It takes a few months but it is better to do it slowly.
    Just stop taking the meds altogether. that's what doctors do: they prescribe meds and say it will make their patients feel better when they really do not. Studies have shown that taking meds further increases negativity in people that obviously doesn't need to be there. get off all meds right now and take it one day at a time. Don't put drugs into your system; they don't do anything. Other things you can do to relieve yourself of anxiety or depression are:

    taking hot bubble baths with lavender bath salts
    listening to techno and trance music
    reading a good book and immersing yourself into it
    doing Yoga
    i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. i have also experienced the loss of a daughter. it softens with time. a few months ago i tapered myself off meds after being on them for 20 yrs. taper yourself off gradually. i repeat - gradually. especially with the effexor has noticeable affects as you go off it. so the slower you go the less noticable the effects.

    you say it is XR which means time released so you can't cut or break it. you'll have to get the doc to rx smaller doses, & i think it's best to get tablets (not XR) so they can be broken into halves, fourths, etc. i think the other drugs u mentioned also require tapering off so hopefully ur dr will help u to get off them.

    mine was not very cooperative i guess because she did not want to give up a customer so i basically had to do this myself. i am off all meds except lunesta to sleep & hopefully i can get my family doc to rx this. i applaud you for wanting to get off the meds. a lot of the psych docs will try to keep you dependent on them and the meds and will not encourage this (which i think is wrong). so listen to your own instincts and when you think its time to get off insist on this or do it yourself. regarding the therapist, u may consider getting another that makes you feel a little better. sometimes we just don't connect with them and need to try someone else. god's peace and blessings be on you and your family.
    you just have to goff of them very slowly


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