How do you forgive an abuser ?!
Question: my dad mentally/emotionally tormented me my whole life, my mom finally kicked him out, bc on xmas he hurt me ( i.e tried to shove me, dug his fingers into my arm so hard he left bruises )- Wish a 230 pound guy was there to beat up this monster.
but now, i want to be free from his emotional abuse, i know he wants me to be hateful and upset ( its all part of his game )
he left months ago, and hasent called me. he told me not to call and ask for favors ( LOL, ok.. )
how do i move on ?- im still completely pissed.
Answers: my dad mentally/emotionally tormented me my whole life, my mom finally kicked him out, bc on xmas he hurt me ( i.e tried to shove me, dug his fingers into my arm so hard he left bruises )- Wish a 230 pound guy was there to beat up this monster.
but now, i want to be free from his emotional abuse, i know he wants me to be hateful and upset ( its all part of his game )
he left months ago, and hasent called me. he told me not to call and ask for favors ( LOL, ok.. )
how do i move on ?- im still completely pissed.
You can't move on until you can get past the anger & be able to forgive, otherwise you may carry the anger on to your own children.. You may need to seek proffessional help & there's nothing wrong with doing that!..You didn't state your age but in some states you may still be able to make charges against your father for the abuse, this may seem to difficult for you, especially since it's your father. Talk with your healthcare provider for a referral.. Good Luck & Take Care..
PS; If you have a specific religion or belief in a higher power, pray about this also.. *Smile*
You will need professional help, including therapy. Talk to your mom so that she can help you find help. She may not recognize that you (both) need professional help.
its hard to forgive someone who did that to u. but tell him to stop. tell him how it effected u he will most likely say sorry. then u can forgive him.
The bible says that our body is a temple of God, and that we should treat it that way. Well, a lot of people don't believe in God, but rather worship themselves, and want to look beautiful for selfish reasons. Whatever your motivation, a healthier and cleaner body will allow you to live longer, fuller, with greater vitality, and enable you to enjoy your life more. In my travels through cyberspace, I have noticed an increasing number of websites and blogs<!--discussing about health, and I have found a good website where everything is free and it could solve your question. You could get loads of help from them. You will just have to subscribe them, (it will take 2 secs). The free membership give you access to, Valuable health savings and offers, Samples, coupons, and rebates on leading brands, Health tips, news, and videos, videos are superb and very much helpful, i love them like crazy, Delicious recipes for every nutritional need, Tips for a successful doctor's visit, and much them, and you dont want to pay even a penny for them. I am personally enjoying with them, they give me useful tips everyday, and i hope you find them useful as well.
http://healthyworld.freehostia.com/
I find there is a general guideline you can follow in life to remain healthy and get the most out of it. You will find endless information and I am sure you will really love it. I believe you will find that it really does not have to be a painful process to change your-->lifestyle for the better. I hope these pages have inspired you to move in this direction, that you do not go overboard to demotivate yourself, and that you will continue to apply the pressure and willpower, no matter how slight, because with every step you make in this direction, you will eventually attain whatever goal you set for.
you dont.
forget about what happened! thank goodness you finally got away from him! find a boyfriend! enjoy life and never again meet your dad! you do not really need him!! i do not know your age but i hope you should be old enough to take care of yourself!!
talking aboutit and getting it out is the first step now you just need to practice letting it go. write me if you need .i was there
honestly therapy
like not trying to insult you if this is but things like that are rly hard!
Sometimes we cant explain why other people do things, but it is necessary to know why if you were once a victim of that persons abuse and you want to be able to move on with your life. A lot of people show feelings of frustration and aggrevation in their personal lives by mentally and physically abusing someone else because they dont like something about themselves or their personal situation in life. By torturing someone else, or by taking their problems out on someone else and blaming them for their problems....it makes them feel better about themselves. it makes them feel like they have control over their life's situation by hurting someone else. I am glad that he is out of the house. Now I do condone or support someones advice on you and your mother taking up some therapy or counseling, but before or while you take counseling think of why your father did those things to you. NONE OF HIS ACTIONS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!! Never blame yourself for his abuse! No one has the right to torment anyone for whatever reason! What I mean is was he going through problems at work, with your mother, were there financial problems in the family, did he like his job. Nine times out of ten if a person is having problems in all of these major areas...it can be a serious problem if he doesnt realize that he can get support but feels that he has to go through those things alone. Finance and immorality are the 2 top reasons for divorce nowadays. These issues pounding in an individuals mind without the right support can lead to them abusing someone as their solution to stress and no self control.. Some men who have had violence in their family history, or even had a history of abusing drugs will eventually turn to abuse as their way of leveling out their stress problems. They resort to blaming others for their problems in harmful and even deadly ways. Once you "know" and "understand" why your father did what he did, you then tell yourself "it wasnt my fault" because it wasnt. Write down your feelings, frustrations, every single thing you feel blocked up in side let it rip. Sometimes when Im frustrated I take drive to the beach here in California or to the mountains and YELL for like 5 minutes sometimes longer. Once Im done yelling I feel like I can move on with life again (lol). Anyway, once you are able to understand your father's reasons.....call him up and tell him you forgive him, but also tell him that you are sorry. Tell him that you are sorry that he had to go through all of those things alone. Tell him that he will be okay and that its probably better that you guys live in separate homes until he is able to get his mind together. But that you would still like to see him once in awhile when he is up to it. Im no therapist, I just have a way of feelings people's pain and trying to figure out a way that will make everyone happy. Anyway, I hope that helps.
Hi Victoria ! Sorry about all the abuse you have suffered through the years. I can certainly identify with that. This is one thing that helps me. I came to realize that no person who has a healthy mind would ever abuse anyone. In short dear, your dad is not well mentally. If he was, he would certainly only show love to you. I 've worked around retarded people and mentally ill people. They do crazy things because they are not all there. Just try to accept the fact that your dad would love you in every way if he was well. Obviously, avoid him like the plague. A person who abuses one person will abuse others. Your dad has abused others in his past and unless he is successfully treated he will abuse others in the future.
We have to forgive every offender b/c Jesus died on the Cross to forgive us our sins if we accept it. Forgiving is freedom from bondage of hatred.
In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives us air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives us water to drink and food to eat.
God gives us a wonderful body and a sound mind and life.
God loves us, and we are precious to Him.
The Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation, and qualifying us to Heaven.
Jesus