How do I stop hating myself?!
Question: I keep trying to get to the bottom of it but I cant see. I have felt like this since I was little and I would offset it by compartmentalizing things and later drugs or alcohol and sex. Now I dont use those things to get high I am left with the sick feeling of no liking myself. I feel like breaking whoever I am in a million pieces so I cant feel ashamed or embarrassed or less of a person.
Answers: I keep trying to get to the bottom of it but I cant see. I have felt like this since I was little and I would offset it by compartmentalizing things and later drugs or alcohol and sex. Now I dont use those things to get high I am left with the sick feeling of no liking myself. I feel like breaking whoever I am in a million pieces so I cant feel ashamed or embarrassed or less of a person.
Have I ever been there! This is years of bad feelings and a habit which will be hard to shake without therapy. There is no shame in seeking psychiatric help. Also oftentimes these feelings are associated with a chemical imbalance in your body and the right medication can do wonders as one step toward realizing and believing that you are a worthwhile person (which I'm sure you are). Sometimes bad stuff that happens when growing up contributes to the chemical imbalance and that needs medication to fix it. Some times it is just one of those things....some of us develop the imbalance for unknown reasons and again medication is needed to help that. The lifelong feelings of worthlessness do need therapy even if the imbalance is corrected. Hang in there. You deserve to be happy and to feel good about yourself.
Another thing that has helped me a lot is doing things to help out others. It makes me feel like I am a good person and is rewarding because it is so appreciated by those you help. There are lots of different kinds of volunteer possibilities. They always need visitors at nursing homes, some hospitals allow people to visit with children or rock babies, if you have a talent such as playing guitar or other things that is awesome to share in a nursing home or children's ward of a hospital, there are a lot of charities that you can call (like the American Cancer Society, etc.) to ask what you could do to help (sometimes it's as simple as getting mailings ready by stuffing envelopes), knit or crochet baby blankets to donate to hospital nurseries or an association for helping pregnant single teenagers, knit or crochet scarfs to donate to a homeless shelter, help in a foodline for the homeless, help teach someone to read or do a craft you are good at, and the internet can give you lots of other ideas. Another place you could check for volunteer ideas is with "First Call For Help". They should be listed in the phone book. Or type in your city and volunteer on the internet. I hope this helps.
Talk to a counselor or psychiatrist, or just talk to a parent. Even talking to a pet or such animal might help you feel better, but you need to talk to someone.
Talk to a professional but you have got to start doing things that are good and right and make you feel good about yourself.
talk to some one it doesnt really matter who jest some1 who is close to u like a friend if u keep ur hatered in side i'll jest feel even worse so i sujest talk to some1 like a parent friend or counsaler.
I used to feel that way, for a long long time. What helped me was long-term therapy. I used to feel so ashamed of having feelings, it seems really weird now looking back. Just be honest with your therapist, do some writing if it helps, just to get your thoughts and feelings out onto paper. I know when I started my therapy I didn't like to hear my own voice saying some of the things I needed to talk about, so I used to write in a journal and give it to my therapist. It might take time but you will get there. Be kind to yourself. x x
i get like that too, one good thing that lets you know you're headed in the right direction is that you are able to realize that there is something wrong. we should not feel like this, although guilt is normal.. self torture of hating yourself is not. i have felt guilty so often for things that i have done, or thought... but honestly... the Lord is the only answer to this problem. everyone else on here is telling you to talk to someone, why not talk to the one person who actually KNOWS you and why you are feeling the way that you are.
i am telling you this from self experience, prayer helps tremendously. if you find solace in the Lord, then there is hope knowing that if you are saved then all of the things that you are dealing with don't matter much anymore.
drugs and sex are a common when someone is stuck in this rut, as i am sure you know. just count your lucky stars that you didn't contract some STD or overdose... no matter how you are feeling or what road you have been down, you are not alone. there is a whole world out there who is doing what you are and who is feeling the pain of hating the creature that we are. my advice, the Lord. He heals all wounds, wipes our tears, always there when you feel so alone. He cares about you, and knows you as He created you.. and loves you as His child. give Him a chance, you won't regret it
God bless you... hope you take my advice to heart.
windy
So many people struggle with incessant self condemnation. This self condemnation can be a product of mental health issues or it can be a contributing factor towards their development. Either way, challenging incessant self condemnation is an essential undertaking.
Of course self condemnation is not a disassociated habit, it stems from poor self image, guilt, childhood labels, shame, critical parenting and a number of other sources. Exploring the roots of your self condemnation will be an important step in challenging its power in your life.
What is self condemnation? Well it is your own voice internalised; self talk that commentates negatively on your value, person-hood, actions, feelings and behaviours. Common experiences of self condemnation would be, "You are stupid, unacceptible, weak". "You are sinful, unworthy, a fraud". "You are unforgiven, unlovable, a failure".
You might assume that christian people would automatically experience less self condemnation than other people, since the whole Christian message stands in opposition to these messages. However, often Christians give licence to their self condemnation though a mistaken interpretation of Christian doctrine.
Some Christians mistake self condenation for the voice of conscience that is prompting them to confess their failings to Jesus even though they have already confessed them and been forgiven. Others justify their self condemnation by believeing it is a helpful tool that stops them making the same mistakes twice. Still others see self condemnation as a form of healthy punnishment that they should both initiate and endure as some form of pennance for their failings or shortfalls.
All of the assumtions above are mistaken, in fact thay stand in the face of the cross of Jesus and his grace. Maintaining self condemnation for presumed spiritual justification is something to let go of. Jesus has come to heal and restore, he wants you to stop holding onto your past sins and the consequential labels those mistakes have given you. He wants you to walk away from punnishing yourself, standing under the insults of others or the labels of your childhood. The direct translation of the word devil is the 'accuser or slanderer', he likes nothing more than to leave you in the false belief that self condemnation is a healthy spiritual discipline that keeps you from becoming proud.
There is a story in John Ch 8 where a woman is being judged having been caught in adultery. Jesus challenges the judges with their own shotcomings, then he asks the woman v7,
"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
v8. "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
In this story Jesus doesn't let sin off the hook (something many self condemners are worried about). Instead he deals with sin and condemnation separately. Jesus dealt with our sin at the cross when he took our sin upon himself.
RO 8:1 says "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering".
Jesus removed our sin and the bible says there is "now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus". Jesus dealt with the womans with real compassion, he refuses to condemn her whist still challengeing her lifestyle.
We all need to refuse to condemn ourselves becuase Jesus has said that there is no condemnation for us. At the same time we need to healthily challenge our behaviour to be more like him.
Try and choose to say gentle and loving things to yourself today, if you are struggling, think about what Jesus would say to you; "You are my precious child, you are forgiven, I love you, have my peace, know that I will never leave you".
Have a day of affirmation and say goodbuy to condenmation.
Hope this will help you in stopping hating yourself.
You only hate a thought about who you are, an illusion, a mere image.... something you take to be real, but isn't, and who you are is unknown to you.
Therefore, know yourself.