I need some possitive words and advise.?!
Question: I am not much of a writer, so please bear with me. Thank you for reading this as well. I am really needing some help, some positive words and advise.
I have been through so much these past couple years and I am at my lowest. I don't have anyone to go to either. I was recently laid off, and all the people I worked with for the past 8 years, I thought were my friends. Not one of them has kept in touch with me, even though I have made the attempts. So, I have no friends. My family has recently shown me there true colors as well. They are so wrapped up in their lives and have depended on me in so many ways, and now when I need them, they are not here for me. My boyfriend in the only one, but I don't want to show him how depressed and lonely I really am, i have had so much drama that he doesn't need to hear me or see how it has effected me. My house is gong into foreclosure, I have to file bk. I feel like a loser, I went from successful to looser. How would you deal with all this?
Answers: I am not much of a writer, so please bear with me. Thank you for reading this as well. I am really needing some help, some positive words and advise.
I have been through so much these past couple years and I am at my lowest. I don't have anyone to go to either. I was recently laid off, and all the people I worked with for the past 8 years, I thought were my friends. Not one of them has kept in touch with me, even though I have made the attempts. So, I have no friends. My family has recently shown me there true colors as well. They are so wrapped up in their lives and have depended on me in so many ways, and now when I need them, they are not here for me. My boyfriend in the only one, but I don't want to show him how depressed and lonely I really am, i have had so much drama that he doesn't need to hear me or see how it has effected me. My house is gong into foreclosure, I have to file bk. I feel like a loser, I went from successful to looser. How would you deal with all this?
sweetheart welcome to the club...i refer to us as murphy's victims. You have heard of murphy's law. well he stalks many of us on a regular basis mainly women but some men too. Tell your boyfriend you are depressed or overwelmed and that you dont want to bog him down but dont know how to turn it around and dont want him to think its his fault just incase he notices the mood difference. you dont want him to think he has something to do with it or that you were faking happy and arent and now he is stuck with a negative person when you arent. what life has thrown at you has made it a temporary thing. step 1. register at your local unemployment office for job placement. even part time work is better than watching the grass grow. 2. call your local hospital and find out about behavioral health programs...if you need to apply for a state medical card so be it...gotta take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. 3. bankrupcy is not the end of the world...just the end of credit for a few years. 4. realize that if you have only 1 person in life that you can count on threw ups downs and downright lows you are lucky.....some people never find that. 5 celebrate eliminating the fake friends that are there when times are good as long as something is in it for them assholes from your life...they were sucking up too much time that coulda been shared with someone who really cares for and loves you. and last but not least dont collect cats dogs or anything else with a pulse to fill a void. (have 4 dogs and i can tell ya it dont work...they love ya when you have a toy or food). Now start liking yourself! You didnt close the company, and you didnt fake your friendship, that right there says you are the better person for being honest about who you are not just when it benefits but all the time.
sweetie, you have to keep strong. this is a problem that i have faced and so many others have too. just know that you are not alone in feeling like this. your family is not there for you but be sure you let them know you need them sit down with them and tell them how you feel. as you dont wanna tell your boyfriend, tell him, he wants to know what is wrong. it must not feel good for him to see you sad and not know why.
First
You are one in in many who are suffering this delima of foreclosure and BK bankruptcy so you are not alone.
The family problem I have had to deal with but mine was in 86 and I had to stick it out alone too.
Keep looking for a job if you don't have one when you read this.
Get you boyfriend involved in your life.
This is what makes two as one even though you are not married.
He will take it as a man would A woman needs a man in times of hardship. So cling to him for support.
You two will become different because of it.
The people at work who don't want anything to do with you is how it is in office or any employment position anymore.
When you are there you are one of the crowd in the same club so to say example "Yes we work together in the same department"
Time passes and your trouble will also Just keep true to your self and do not let the only true friend you have down YOU. And Jesus.
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That is happening to a lot of people. When things go bad one feels so depressed and stupid. As for your family and friends.....you have to forgive them for being wrapped up in their own lives. Losing your home to foreclosure is also happening to many people. Where did your job go? Mine went to India.
You will need a plan B. Look around for some low cost solutions. You may need to level with your boyfriend. Maybe you and he can share the monthly rent on an apartment. You need to make a plan or you might end up in a homeless shelter. That is my worst nightmare. Even that isn't so bad if you think about how it is for people in the third world that are homeless and hungry. Things always get better after you hit rock bottom. Keep your sense of humor.
You are not a loser because the entire banking industry screwed up. There is no shame in that bankruptcy under the circumstances that were created by people who should have known better. You couldn't afford that house. They should have known that; it was their job to know that. This is not your fault.
Now, let it go. Go to a beautiful place wherever you are and just absorb the beauty of it. Get calm. Make a plan for the future. We are all pretty much alone. You have to deal with each problem in the moment. Don't let your mind race too far ahead. Just do one thing at a time.
You must be going through some b[very stressful events. The best I can advise is to go on a anti-stress diet such as the hypoglycemic diet, to withstand the stresses a bit better.
Wow. First, I want you to know that I Love you and my heart goes out to you sweetheart. I've been depressed too and I know how miserable it can be. Your situation sounds so tough. But it is important to know that you should not feel guilty or reluctant to lean on your boyfriend right now. That is what he is supposed to be there for in a relationship. To support you when you need someone most.
And I have issues with my family being supportive when I need them too. But, ask yourself honestly, have you made it completely clear to them - in no uncertain or unspoken terms - that you need them and want their support? If you haven't been completely clear with them, then you might just be worried and projecting on to them what you expect them to do. This expectation of yours may come from your depressed state and a feeling of helplessness and lack of self-worth ("no one wants to help me. No one Loves me, no one cares what I'm going through..."). Make it clear to them that your situation is absolutely critical right now and you need their support and advice.
And, the most comforting thing I know is to Pray. Pray with all your Heart and cry in front of God with your sorrow. He will comfort you. Remember, you are Daddy's little girl and He Loves you so much and never wants to see you sad sweetie. Use your Heart and imagination to picture Him holding you and Comforting you like a good dad would do to his little princess. I'm a man and even I imagine Him holding me like that and giving me little Loving kisses on my forehead to ease my sorrow. Sometimes I hug a pillow to feel the physical presence of something or someone hugging me. And, since you are in a relationship, you can ask your boyfriend to do the same for you. If he really has feelings for you, he should be happy to do it and help ease your pain.
This is something else I recently came to say to myself and I've found it really helps. "God Loves you and me... so who are we to disagree?" He really does Love you even though difficult things are happening in your life right now. He doesn't magically make everything good and happy for people who Love Him. Bad things happen because all people have free will and sometimes others will do bad things to you or chance circumstances will have bad results for you. God doesn't stop those things from happening because He set up this world with free-will and He won't take it away from us. But, just because those bad things happen does not mean He isn't there to Comfort you, to wipe away your tears, to hold you in His arms and rock you to sleep, to give you little baby kisses on your forehead, to put His Peace, Joy, Comfort, Happiness, and Love in your Heart and to hold you in His Heart forever sweetie. You aren't a loser. Tough things are happening to you right now and you have to get yourself to a place of Comfort and Peace before you can think straight enough to figure out how to get yourself out of it.
But remember to Trust in God, to lean on your boyfriend when you need him most, and to tell your family in clear terms exactly what you would like from them. God Bless you sweetheart and try to get some Peace in Christ.
Life is full of ups and downs, when your down, you get up, pick up the pieces and move on... i know its easier said than done, but when your down, there is really nowhere else to go but up.. so smile and wait for your tax rebate. :)
There is nothing really that can be added after all those wonderful and supportive posts. But I feel the urge to join in with them. Please print all posts and keep them by you at all times. Bad times come up on all of us....you really need support....I do not know how it works....but if there is a way that I can communicate my e-mail id, please let me know and we can exchange views....it is good to build up freiendships and especially in this way it does not have much complications....spend time with people who care about you...some of the advice that you have received is really great....please follow them and everything will be allright....take care.....good luck and God bless...
Don't beat yourself up. You have had to deal with alot of
stressful situations, and people you thought you could count
on disappointed you. Losing a job is hard, especially if you
don't have money saved. I think the first thing you should do,
is get another job, stay positive and you will get a job soon.
Talk to your boyfriend, I am sure you would want him to talk
to you if he felt the way you are. Things happen in life, and
sometimes it seems like it's non stop for awhile, but don't
let it get you down. Your going to get another job and I
wouldn't bother with those who were not there for you.