Please help i'm feeling really low?!
Question: So latly I have been having alot of SI. I have been seeing my therapist 2x a wk. I talked to her tonight, she keeped asking me if I would keep my self safe and if i need to go to the hospital. But I don't want to go there. I got and see my therapist tomorrow. But latly I been having alot of flash backs, I feel like i just put people though hell. I feel like i'm just messing up peoples lives all together. I feel like if i was not here then I would be one less stress on people and I would not be hurting anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, this is not how i'm. please if you can help me. I don't want to go to my friends cause I don't want to make them worry. My family is not supportive at all they think I do things for attaion and it is in my head. I'm taking medication. I hate going to slep at nigh cause I just have nightmares.
Answers: So latly I have been having alot of SI. I have been seeing my therapist 2x a wk. I talked to her tonight, she keeped asking me if I would keep my self safe and if i need to go to the hospital. But I don't want to go there. I got and see my therapist tomorrow. But latly I been having alot of flash backs, I feel like i just put people though hell. I feel like i'm just messing up peoples lives all together. I feel like if i was not here then I would be one less stress on people and I would not be hurting anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, this is not how i'm. please if you can help me. I don't want to go to my friends cause I don't want to make them worry. My family is not supportive at all they think I do things for attaion and it is in my head. I'm taking medication. I hate going to slep at nigh cause I just have nightmares.
I don't know what SI is, but I do understand what flashbacks are.
The thing you need to understand is that you are an irreplaceable treasure. You are a unique blessing to the world. I've thought the same as you sometimes when feeling bad about myself, but all those negative thoughts are just a lie from the devil.
God created you to be a beautiful person. Whatever trauma you've experienced hasn't changed who you will become if you let God work with you. It's a mistake to count yourself out or discount yourself because you're having problems. You could be a success story for someone to be inspired by someday.
You have a unique gift even in your pain, because you understand things that others who haven't been through what you've been through can't understand. And someday, someone might well need the compassion, understanding and insight that only you have.
Think about it--would you rather receive comfort from someone who has personally experienced very similar struggles to yours, or from someone who has learned things out of a book but doesn't personally KNOW what it's like? You are a person who KNOWS.
I know when you're down and out, it feels like you lack the resources to ever possibly be a blessing to anybody. But healing is possible, and things can change. You don't yet know the person you will be in the future and what you'll have available to give.
I recommend you read the little book, "Secrets of the Vine" by Bruce Wilkinson. Also, I don't know what type of trauma you may have experienced, because unfortunately there are so many different possibilities, but if it was sexual trauma, check out the book, "The Courage to Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass.
For uplifting, healing, helpful speakers, watch Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer. They're wonderful. Joyce was abused as a child and had a bad first marriage, so she personally understands pain. They both have authored excellent bestselling books.
http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/PageS...
http://www.joycemeyer.org/
Also, if you haven't yet seen it, watch the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness." It isn't about post traumatic stress; it's based on the true story of a father's determination to be there for his son, and how he overcame poverty.
It's a very good movie, a testament of triumph. And the main character (Chris Gardner, played by Will Smith) certainly goes through some tough times when it looks like he is going nowhere. So I think you'll find it ultimately encouraging.
Another good movie, although you've really probably already seen this one, is the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life." Even if you've seen it, it might be good to watch it again. Some things we need to be reminded of.
As for your nightmares, try praying for God's protection as you go to sleep, and thank Him for all His blessings (remember the song from "White Christmas" about falling asleep counting your blessings?). Also softly play some nice classical music, hymns, or worship music as you're drifting off.
Try not to think about anything that is upsetting to you; if you start to, remind yourself that that's a thought for later, but right now is sleeping time. Remember the Beatles song? "To everything (turn turn turn) there is a season (turn turn turn) and a time for every purpose under heaven."
So turn off those bad thoughts (as much as you can--obviously flashbacks are on the uncontrollable side, but I'm talking about avoiding focusing on negative thoughts), and turn on the good thoughts--what you did right that day, what people did or said that was nice and caring, how many things you have that are good (just try comparing yourself to someone in a third world country--we take a lot for granted a lot of times, like running water, a fridge, heat, etc.).
Here is something silly and stupid that I hope will make you smile for a moment, because life is too serious not to laugh:
http://www.hampsterdance.com/classintera...
And here is a skit that I hope you will watch. It starts off a little slow, but stick with it--it's only a few minutes long, and I think you will be positively impacted by it, as I was when I saw it:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?vi...
This skit meant a lot to me when I saw it. I cried, but it was a healing type of crying. It is a very powerful message.
Try to breathe deeply and relax. I have those feelings sometimes too but you have to think of all the people who love you and would be devastated if you left this world. Hold on it will be ok I promise you that. If you think you are going to hurt yourself call someone anyone just to hear another voice besides your own thoughts can help alot. Take a shower it helps to wash the feelings away just imagine them all going down the drain.
I hear you, I understand that feeling - it sucks, but that doesn't make it go away. There's not much advice to give, because no matter how many times I say, "you're not a burden to your family and they wouldn't be better without you - it would ruin their lives to be withOUT you" you won't believe it until you're ready - I've been there done that. And I SI too - so I understand... flashbacks and nightmares are a ***** - so I'm sorry - this is a free support website that I went to and still am on - it's where I go because my parents and friends don't quite understand -- and I know you know how that feels - www.dailystrength.org - if you join feel free to look me up - "Brokenhallelujahs"
You poor, poor thing. You're not alone - I've had an on/off thing with depression since I was 9, I'm now 17 with 2 attempts behind me. Here's my suggestions:
- Ask your doctor about some sleeping tablets to take away the nightmares and also adjust your medication, maybe something stronger.
- Go to a family member who will listen to you
- Sit down with your family and make them listen
- Talk to your friends. You might not want to make them worry, but they can help you feel a lot better. Think of the pain you'd put them through if you truly believed the only way out of your pain is suicide.
- I hate to say this, but maybe hospital is the best place for you if you're at risk to yourself.
Please, please seek some help for yourself. If you need somebody to talk to, email me at aussieland1990@yahoo.com.au. Be strong and take care of yourself, there are people out there who care about you.
Take care
Im relly sorry to know that u r going thru so much. U know when no1 is there it is we who can help ourselves. n God helps those who help themselves. So if u start helping urself then ultimately even God will help u. Everyday write whatever u feel on a blog or pc file or a diary. Trust me this isnt vain. It is as good as sharing ur problems with a therapist or frnd. After u have written it just delete or burn the page. This clears ur head n u cant read the thing in future. Deep breathe 10 mins everyday. Dance on any 2 songs u like- couple dance with a soft toy or go in a disco wild mood alone. Pamper urself with gifts or bubble or aroma baths. Pray to God 15 min everyday. Listen to music 30 mins before sleeping. Exercise for sure everyday. Gud luck.Medisins wont help. They did nothing in my case. I'll surely pray 4 u beautiful
You say you have nightmares.... were you abused in anyway as a child or were you a witness to something tragic? If so, you might be suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome(ptsd). There are all kinds of treatments for this.My daughter is adopted and had her legs broken as an infant by her birthparents. There are all kinds of new treatments out there such as art therapy and something called emdr. I`m taking a shot in the dark here, because I know nothing about your history.BUT one thing I want to stress to you is that you DO matter and you have great worth. I wish I could make you see that, but I can`t. Please don`t give into these feelings......I am rooting for you!