I cut my arm...?!


Question: I cut my arm a few times and one of my best friends knows. She wants to cut her arm now to show me what it is like to see someone you love hurt themselves. It's become an addiction for me, but I don't want her to. She's my best friend and if she starts I will never forgive myself if she gets addicted too. I really do not want her to. And I know it's reverse physchology or whatever so I will stop but I can't because I'm hooked but she isn't, and I don't want her to become hooked. What do I do? (I already talked to my mom, she knows I've been cutting. I'm 14)


Answers: I cut my arm a few times and one of my best friends knows. She wants to cut her arm now to show me what it is like to see someone you love hurt themselves. It's become an addiction for me, but I don't want her to. She's my best friend and if she starts I will never forgive myself if she gets addicted too. I really do not want her to. And I know it's reverse physchology or whatever so I will stop but I can't because I'm hooked but she isn't, and I don't want her to become hooked. What do I do? (I already talked to my mom, she knows I've been cutting. I'm 14)

Tell your friend it won't help you stop cutting to see her cutting. You're not just cutting because you don't feel like stopping yet, but seeing her do it will make you agree and say, alright I won't do it anymore. Like you said, it has become addicting. Cutting is one of many distructive copeing techniques that we can turn to when there are other things we are hurting from in our heads but can't seem to acknowledge or sort out into words. People that cut usually have a lot of emotional pain inside from depression or low self esteme or traumatic events that make them feel hopeless or devestated. There is nothing on the outside of your life to explain all the pain in a straight forward way. Like if a relative dies, that is a very logical reason for pain and depression and it is something you can see and understand. Cutting becomes a way to channel all that pain into something that is actually somewhat painful and obviously a reason to hurt. That is why it is addicting. It is giving your mind a much needed explaination for everything you feel and it's allowing for a little clarity in your head. This is not a good way to get clarity or a way to deal with any issues, but I am just explaining why it becomes addicting. So if you feel like you want to you could explain this to your friend and tell her that any heroic sacrafice of her probably won't change the comfort you get from cutting. And if she does it in front of you, unless she has similat problems, won't become addicted to it. It's not like doing drugs where there is a chemical addiction. It's only addictive to you because it makes you feel better, which is even a stronger addiction than just a chemical addition. It's serious and you'll feel better when you can deal with your problems in life without a burning desire to be alone to cut a few times to get you through the day. Your friend loves you but she needs to understand that she sadly can't help you. If she cuts in front of you and you still don't stop she'll probably get mad at you that you just don't decide to stop. She'll walk away and be mad at you for disappointing her but the fault will really be hers. It's more complicated than she thinks and if she causes contention between the two of you, that's not going to get you better any faster. Embrace the people around you that love you but don't feel guilty if some of them don't understand what you are going through.

explain to her the reasons why you do it.
tell her that you dont mean to hurt her and that its a way of coping, and its not to be taken lightly. tell her you appreciate what shes trying to do but explain to her that its not a good thing to start and that 'mind tricks' wont help.
but try your best to stop doing it, or at least dont show her, if its upsetting her. also, i prefer to tell or show no one, that way no one else gets hurt or tries to interfere.
good luck btw........

wow, *TRACY*....you became a top contributer with bullshit answers like that?
your best solution honestly would be to talk to a counselor
addicting behaviors can be difficult to stop

experts say it takes 21 days to quit a habit, so try try try not to do it. as for ur friend, tell her that u realy dont want her to get hooked. if u realy want to stop, you can do it!! trust me

its reverse psychology but it might be something she starts to enjoy. are you seeing a professional? your young so find a way to stop so you dont start to damage yourself along with your loved ones.

Oh deary, I know it is addicting. (trust me i really do) But you must try try try to stop. It may take a while but i know that with enough determination you will stop. When you see the affect it has on the people that you love you will probably want to stop. Persuade your friend on not doing it. If that happens it'll make things worse.. trust me. be through something similar to this. just deary, stop please don't get the rep of that. you don't need it to follow you. have people look at you differently and not want to be frieends cause of it.

im in the same situation. my friend says that too because she wants me to think that it is wrong. im not sure about the whole thing, but i know it must have taken a lot of courage to talk to your mom. i could never do that. what did she say?

Cutting IS an addiction... and like other addictions you will need help to stop. My advice is to start getting help now, because at 14 there is still alot of life to experience and if you are easily addicted you will need some coping mechanisms!
Speak to your parents or parent and tell them, please don't use that tired old excuse that you don't want to tell them.. addictions are a family trait, more than likely one of your parents will understand.

You should model responsible behavior for your friend. If she will emulate when you act irresponsible, when you cut, then maybe she will continue to emulate you when you act responsibly, when you get counselling and kick your habit.

It is good that you told your mother. You have admitted that you are addicted. Now, do something about it. Get some counselling. Get serious, and kick the habit.

Actinos speak louder than words.

Knowing from my past addictions.... (Both very addictive not kidding....) Usually, they have negative effects. In this case... Nasty scars (no offense).
Personally... I would suggest quiting. Nothing good is coming of your habit. Your friend... Is at risk of getting stuck in the same situation... and you have to ask?(Not trying to be harsh but I would risk life and limb to protect my friends from a knife even if their holding it themselves)

If you need help or are having trouble talk to your friend. She already knows and it will be less harming to your body if you talk it out with her then cutting herself (Those scars will heal and their are products to reduce scars I have a few myself >.<)

Talk to your friend before even thinking about it again. She only wants to help you.

-mp /hug (You're lucky to have a friend that cares)

i believe you when you say it's addictive because i went through the same thing, but i also want you to believe me that it is posible to change. do you want the people around you to suffer? do you really wanna spend your life hurting yourself? i dont think so. i used to cut myself and i felt i couldnt stop, until i got hospitalized for 10 months and when i was out of the hospital i said to myself "i never wanna be there again" everytime i felt like harming myself i did something else i liked, suddenly it was a long time since i didn't cut and i started getting ADDICTED TO NOT CUTTING, it was like it lost its "magic" and everytime i thought bout doing it i said "mmm, it doesn't make sense, i think i preffer to take a bath, put a pefume and dress nice and go for a walk" and i did that. once you get non-addicted you think it's nonsence think. hope this helps

See if you can find some information on self-injury online for her. It's sometimes easier for people to understand when they see information in general rather than trying to deal with you specifically. Explain to her that it really is an addiction and you can't just stop instantaneously, but you'd like her help. Tell her what she can do to help you - even if it's just listening. She needs to know that you already feel bad about this and that this won't help.

First off, yea it is selfish...but people when you cut yourself...yea you're in flicking pain...that is the point...to get away...now for all those who say it does not make you feel better...bullshit it does, because your brain sends out endorphins. Now, to your question...I understand my sister pulled the same **** with me. You can not get her to stop...if she has the decision made in her head than she will do it...you need to sit her down and explain why you do it and how it makes you feel. It is addictive...I used to break glass plates and use them...Not healthy...from one old cutter to another...you need to get help...one day you will take it to far and you will not have enough time to fix it...I've been there, it is a eye opener...I have not cut myself in about 4-5 years, I will not lie to you...to this very day there are times I still want to do it..Please get help!

pick up another habit like I don't know russian roulette?

Lol, most of the other answers are really good, so refer to them. I just wanted to say that people like "*TRACEY*" should grow some empathy and maybe pull whatever crawled up her a**, because it's not like being a b**** will solve anything. Sorry for my profanity, just really ticked off.
Anyways, like pretty much everyone else said, tell your friend why you started cutting, and that you know that it's bad. Keep telling yourself that it's not good, and try to resist the need to cut. Have her check your arms (or wherever else you might do it, like I did it to my legs) everytime you see her so that she knows you're getting better. I knocked the addiction, and my will power is sh**, so I'm sure you can do it toooo. :D
Also, find another way to release stress/anger/sadness/etc, like drawing, sports, instrument, etc. :D GOOD LUCK. <3
[I'm 14, too, bttwwww]





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