Relationship problem..PLEASE HELP!?!


Question: My boyfriend moved in with me 2 months ago and I have discovered a side to him I never knew existed. He is very difficult to live with because he is so moody. He is very quiet and doesn't talk much and tends to sit there being moody. He never has a laugh and joke with me and it is starting to get me down. I am very loving and supportive of him, but he is quiet, withdrawn and moody..I am always trying to guess what he is thinking. I am not sure if I can live like this and have suggested counselling. He is willing to give it a go and says he doesn't know why he is moody and miserable..what can I do? I am so upset by the whole situation..


Answers: My boyfriend moved in with me 2 months ago and I have discovered a side to him I never knew existed. He is very difficult to live with because he is so moody. He is very quiet and doesn't talk much and tends to sit there being moody. He never has a laugh and joke with me and it is starting to get me down. I am very loving and supportive of him, but he is quiet, withdrawn and moody..I am always trying to guess what he is thinking. I am not sure if I can live like this and have suggested counselling. He is willing to give it a go and says he doesn't know why he is moody and miserable..what can I do? I am so upset by the whole situation..

support him in getting the counseling. it may be that he needs to have some sort of drug to make him a little more up lifting or try St. John's Wart...it's all natural and will not have any bad side effects...my husband takes it every day. Not sure if it really helps....but he seems to think so.

Encourage him to get the counseling. That should help him and it may not hurt for you to get it also. This will help you to understand his problem and to help him with it. I wish you well!!!

Marriage or moving in can alter a relationship in many ways because a person gets accustomed to having the other around, they tend to get very comfortable and therefore, this is when you discover their real personality. If he's very withdrawn and moody, there might be a possibility he may be going through changes himself and emotions that he may need to also unleash. Counseling may be a good idea to recommend but some people will get offended by that especially if this is their natural state at their home and environment. Try to get to know his past more and that will help a lot about the future of you both and what type of terms he was raised on, his experiences, if there's anything you should know but don't try to sound like you're interrogating. Share yours as well along with your feelings.

Sometimes moving in can also affect the person's idea of the relationship, hence, people being scared of commitment or feeling like things are shifting around too fast. Being moody is usually a sign of guilt or discomfort so there must be something underlying it, especially if he was raised that way. Getting into a relationship is completely different, of course, you're in the courting process so you both feel you have a par to meet within each other's standards and you both feel a bit inclined to impress each other but when you both feel and get comfortable, this when you guys see each other's real personalities and tempers. If this does upset you, then you may want to reconsider your living conditions until he has valid reasons or explains everything to you because it can be scary or difficult living with someone you care about who treats you more like a stranger or an enemy. And because he's so quiet, no one really knows if he can be volatile and just explode because he doesn't explain how he feels to you in a conversational manner. Try seeing a counselor with him if it is necessary or try to invite his friends over and see how he reacts. If he's more enthused to see his friends versus spend time with you, ask if there's anything wrong with the relationship or if he'd like anything done at the moment since you don't feel comfortable around him.

My father was the same way but I grew up in abuse. He never spoke much but little things will put him in a bad mood and I'll end up in the worst part of the predicament because I was the scape goat and blamed for a lot of things that weren't necessarily my fault or even in my control, especially being so young and in elementary school. And things only got worse from there because he felt he could do whatever he believed was fine without remorse until we had him sent before a judge and seen for parenting classes. And because of his abusive behavior, my mother also separated from him. We experienced a lot from my family and my because my mother used love as an excuse, we suffered it for many years.

Hello:
I would suggest you ask yourself why you picked him out of all the guys on this planet. There were warning signs before you hooked up and you did not see them. Maybe a counselor could find out why you choose this kind of person to be with.





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