So, how do i tell my parents that i need help?!


Question: So, how do I tell my parents that i need help and want to be taken to a doctor or therapist? I think i have depression or anxiety, and I have explosive anger, and some guys on here are making me believe that I may have ocd. I have never been comfortable with talking to my parents about anything (mainly because they will tease me about stuff i talk to them about in front of my siblings), so this is going to be really hard for me to say anything to them and I need advice!


Answers: So, how do I tell my parents that i need help and want to be taken to a doctor or therapist? I think i have depression or anxiety, and I have explosive anger, and some guys on here are making me believe that I may have ocd. I have never been comfortable with talking to my parents about anything (mainly because they will tease me about stuff i talk to them about in front of my siblings), so this is going to be really hard for me to say anything to them and I need advice!

First, gather the facts, as you seem to be doing. Organize your information. print it out, print our emails that say you should see a Doc. keep everything in a folder. be all ocd about it. LOL. Just kidding on the ocd, but be organized, I think it might show how serious you are about this matter. List the symptoms you are having, and show your parents the relation between your list of symptoms, and the disorder(s) you think you might have. (maybe highlight the symptoms you have on one of the print outs you made?). When you do go to the Dr., you'll have all your information at hand, and it'll probably help your Dr give a better diagnosis.

Write it in a letter and read it to them. Maybe it seems corny, but you won't forget anything that way. Write exactly want you want to say to them, and ask them to please respectfully listen to all you have to say, before they make any comments, judgments, etc. Tell them how you feel. If you want, start off with how hard it is for you to talk to them about this, tell them how it feels when they tease you about it in front of your siblings. But be careful not to put BLAME on them. If they feel that way, their response could turn out unpleasant. This is not about them, it's about YOU. The goal of this meeting is seeking their unconditional love and support, and to get you help.

I don't know your parents, or know what reaction they may have, so I don't know what exactly you should say to them. There are things you can control and things you can't. You can't control your parents reaction to this. What you can control is what you say, the information you offer, and your reaction to their reactions. You are responsible for your own emotions. No one can make you feel happy or sad unless you allow yourself to feel that. I mean, your instant reaction might be anger or sadness, but once you realize that emotion, choose whether you want to dwell in that anger, or not. You can choose to allow others to affect your mood. That might be hard to grasp, but with lots of thought and training it can be done. In your case, with the depression, it'll take more work, and possibly psychotherapy. (but who am I to know, let your doc/therapist be the judge of that.)

I hope things go smoothly with your parents, but if they don't, be aware of your emotions. If you must, close up shop and talk to them about it another day...Best of luck!

I didn't have enough room to tell everyone else thank you when i chose the 'best answer', but THANK YOU! and i appreciate it a lot. Report It


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  • if ur not comfortable talking to ur parents, start first with a guidance counselor, distress center or help line who can guide you in the right direction, maybe talking to a therapist will help you oepn up to ur parents later on
    if i knew ur symptoms i could help u figure out if ocd or anxiety is the concern, i suffer from both, agoraphobia and ocd and depression hits with stress
    its hard but it can be dealt with
    good luck

    they want to know this!!!!!!!!! Thats why they are there!!! Grab one and tell them ASAP! THEY LOVE YOU

    if your parents make you feel that uncomfortable that you fear sharing things with them then start off something easier talk to a counselor from your school or neighborhood youth center there are many resources for people in your situation i dont know how old you are but if your close to 18 then you dont need your parents to go see your doctor if your far from 18 then start off with a counselor and he/she can help you work something out

    Have you considered talking to a school counselor or a close relative. Some parents really need to be told by their children about how sometimes they need to keep secrets with their kids and not share or talk about it with other siblings. I'll bet they don't even realize they are doing it or don't realize that it hurts you. Tell them. Talk to your parents alone and I think they will listen.

    Sadly to say, they are your only way of actually getting the help you may need, whether it be therapy or medication or both. Sometimes you can talk with your counselor at school, and have them talk to your parents instead of you trying to explain how you feel about them telling your siblings, and making fun of your problem. Tell your counselor the problem you have with them telling your siblings and making fun of you, as this is close to emotional and verbal abuse; even though it may be done in fun. But if it makes you uncomfortable, and you have asked them to stop and they don't, then it becomes abuse. So I would talk to your school counselor first and see if they would set up a meeting for your parents to come in and talk to the counselor first.

    Congratulations on realizing you need some help and having the courage to pursue it. I am going to assume that you are still in school since you are financially dependent on them (need them to take you to the psychologist). Your school should have a school psychologist, guidance counselor, and/or social worker. Why not approach one of them first? They could give you some suggestions as to how to approach your parents, give you some names of psychologists in your area you could see, and also let you know their opinion on what's going on with you. They could even have your parent(s) in for a conference with you present and act as the intermediary to deliver the information you want them to know.

    Good luck!

    Been there. I get along with my parents, but I feel so inferior when I ask for anything.

    I ended up waiting entirely too long to approach my mom and just came to her in tears one night begging for help. Do it before this point- counseling was the best thing I could've done for myself.

    You need to realize this is a life changing situation and just go for it. Get your parent (whomever you feel more comfortable with) alone and just say it. Don't feel the need to explain yourself or introduce your feelings. Just say straight up, "I want to see a counselor." The message should come across as more urgent and serious that way.

    Best of luck.

    First when you talk to your parents try to get them alone NOT around your siblings. Be strait forward & honest & if they don't take you seriously STPO them in their tracks and tell them that's why you don't talk to them because of the way they make you fill. Helped me when I was growing up

    we are the same
    i am also afraid to tell them what i feel.
    I rely on my friends advice.

    if you are redy then tell them
    dont be afraid to be yourself

    http://www.myspace.com/msquareent

    I didn't bother to read any of the other answers so sorry if I double say something ...
    I just wanted to say that as a teenager I also felt it would be best if I had someone to talk to and I would sit in anger that no one else would suggest it because I didn't want to bring it up. It made me angry that people would complain about my attitude and sadness/anger and wish that I'd change, yet they never suggested/offered me help and I HATED IT! Finally I broke down and told my mom that I was sick of myself and if she didn't get me help I'd freak.
    Sadly the help I got wasn't really help and I still have stuff I'd like to change... so what I'm trying to say here is if you want help, please ask, and don't settle on anything less than the best. If you DO get help and you don't feel they're really helping you, don't hesitate to change doctors until you find the right match. Not everyone treats the same and not all personalities work together so don't give up. Mental health is important and it's better to get help sooner than later.

    Good luck and congratulations on taking the first step to self help, you'll be glad you did :)

    Regardless of your age, it's often hard to talk to parents.
    More so, when your younger. You always think of the worst
    possible outcome and than you don't end up talking to them.
    You parents love you, and you can just talk to your mom or
    dad separetly and tell them how you feel. A therapist is a
    good idea, and the reason is because they will give you
    more than one way (perspective) of viewing situations.
    Sometimes, we get tunnel vision when were upset, and we
    can't see or imagine anything but what we are thinking.
    Trust your parents. Look at it this way, when you have kids
    won't you want them to talk to you if they had problems.

    That's like me.
    i think i have depression.. well im pretty sure since i cry myself to sleep pretty much every night and always feel suicidal [ DW ive never attempted it or self harm ] also i dnt now if its a symptom of depression or a whole other thing but i get sudden bursts of anger and can get reallllly angry for little reasons..

    the funny part is that wenever i get really angry at home which is very often.. VERY often - about everyday my mum gets mad at me and says i need help..
    but not in a serious way, i wonder if shes ever thought that i really might need help.

    i've decided im gonna help myself and just keep fighting "this chemical imbalance" but my advice is you'll be better of just saying the truth to your parents..


    good luck. i hope you turn out ok and happy!





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