My mother is controlling. How can I deal with this?!
Question: I'm a 24 year old adult. I have a great job, work full time, make decent $$, go to school, & have a nice place to live by the beach. I worked hard to get here and there is no way I would give this up. My controlling mother, however, keeps telling me to move in with her cousin and their family in the next city over because it will be cheap and I won't have to pay anything at all. My mom's cousin confirmed this, & added that I am also not allowed to see any boys, just go to school and work. I know they are just "trying to help," but for the sake of my sanity & freedom, I am not going to live at a place where I can not have any freedom, nevertheless see any "boys." I am 24 years old for goodness sake! Living with my mother was pure hell until I moved out at 18. I could not do ANYTHING during that time- go out with friends, drive to far places, etc. I had no life and friends because of her- and now she's trying to enforce this upon me again as an adult! How can I deal with this?
Answers: I'm a 24 year old adult. I have a great job, work full time, make decent $$, go to school, & have a nice place to live by the beach. I worked hard to get here and there is no way I would give this up. My controlling mother, however, keeps telling me to move in with her cousin and their family in the next city over because it will be cheap and I won't have to pay anything at all. My mom's cousin confirmed this, & added that I am also not allowed to see any boys, just go to school and work. I know they are just "trying to help," but for the sake of my sanity & freedom, I am not going to live at a place where I can not have any freedom, nevertheless see any "boys." I am 24 years old for goodness sake! Living with my mother was pure hell until I moved out at 18. I could not do ANYTHING during that time- go out with friends, drive to far places, etc. I had no life and friends because of her- and now she's trying to enforce this upon me again as an adult! How can I deal with this?
Tell her thank you but I am an adult and I will do this my way! She can learn to respect that you can do this without her advice or you will not talk to her about it anymore. Do not tell her what is going on with you and she will have no leverage to control you. That is how I do my mother! She calls and ask what is going on? I just say nothing really everything is fine. I talk about the weather or something on the news. But i never let her know my personal business. She did it to herself she pushed me too far. So I shut her out. Good Luck!
Your mother sounds like mine, and I'm 37 and married.
I think you're fine where you're at, and it sounds like YOU have found what YOU have wanted, not what everyone else wants for you. Whenever that unwanted advice is handed over, just say "Thanks, but I can handle my own right now." Then drop the subject.
By the way, I would be very proud of any 24 yr old that's made it on their own...especially with how our economy is today.
I must be missing something. You are living in your own place and paying your own bills. I assume that your mother is not paying for anything. So what "control" does she have over you, except fot the power that you willingly give her? it's not like she will stop giving you money or food if you quit talking to her.
Just stop listening to her. Problem solved.
What kind of mother is she? Oh no! You're a young women now and you have rights to be on your own now! This is really wrong in what she's doing. Try to let her understand that you're no longer her little girl anymore. Now you're a women and you're doing great for living by yourself *high fives* But please do talk to your mom about this....she has to understand.
she loves you alot.:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYm-QDHGF...
OMG i thought you were talking about my crazy insane mom. Tell her to get a life an stay the hell out of yours. Unhappy people don't want others to be happy. you know the saying misery loves company.