I just need someone to listen please.?!
Question: I found out my great grandmother died this morning so I binged
I had two bowls of mini wheats with whole milk and two chicken ranch wraps
I can't even purge now because every few minutes I just start crying for everything I've done wrong...I've displeased ana and now I'm never going to be able to be thin and beautiful like macy
I'm a failure as a daughter....I've been to three different mental hospitals and I was kicked out of two I'm on twelve different medications three times a day I got kicked out of public school for having a concealed weapon on campus
my mother hates me and my father beat me
I deserve to be a fat tub of lard...someone so ugly on the inside can never be beautiful on the outside
I've failed suicide 5 times because I'm a ******* loser. I can't do a goddamn thing right! What the **** is wrong with me please somebody tell me!! What do I have to do to be loved!
Answers: I found out my great grandmother died this morning so I binged
I had two bowls of mini wheats with whole milk and two chicken ranch wraps
I can't even purge now because every few minutes I just start crying for everything I've done wrong...I've displeased ana and now I'm never going to be able to be thin and beautiful like macy
I'm a failure as a daughter....I've been to three different mental hospitals and I was kicked out of two I'm on twelve different medications three times a day I got kicked out of public school for having a concealed weapon on campus
my mother hates me and my father beat me
I deserve to be a fat tub of lard...someone so ugly on the inside can never be beautiful on the outside
I've failed suicide 5 times because I'm a ******* loser. I can't do a goddamn thing right! What the **** is wrong with me please somebody tell me!! What do I have to do to be loved!
First of all, you dont deserve to be a fat loser the rest of your life. Ive had an eating disorder too so I understand about letting down ana and all that stuff. You dont deserve to be beaten by your father. That is wrong and you are not doing anything wrong at all. You dad has an anger problem because of some issues that HE has not because of you. Even if he blames things on you, its all HIM. So dont forget that. I think you need to seriously consider calling either CPS or social services. Being raised in an abusive home can cause serious emotional problems as you grow and no one deserves to be in that kind of enviornment. You feel like you cant do anything right because you hold yourself to an IMPOSSIBLE standard. That has to stop. You probably feel the need to be perfect all the time and you must learn that NO one is perfect. Not in the least. Your anorexia is totally changing your priorities. Ana is not a real person and if she were, she needs a swift kick in the ***. I know that its hard to be happy in such a horrible enviornment. You need to talk to a professional about your suicidal tendencies. Whether it be a therapist or even a school counselor. You need to get help. If you cant afford this or think your parents will refuse you the help, call up a suicide hotline and they can get you in contact with the right people. Do you have any family that you trust that you can go stay with? I think gettting out of your home and living with someone who you can trust will help a lot. It would be a lot easier to deal with your anorexia if you werent around your parents. I hope you can get some help. Good luck
Shh...shh...I love you....you just need to calm down. You'll be fine. Thin and beautiful isn't everything. Go see someone who can make you feel better about yourself. You're not mental, you have low self-esteem. Go to church, maybe. There are people there who can help you--plus, it can help you cope with the death of your great-grandmother-- also, get help, as your father should NOT be beating you. Go somewhere with people you feel safe with--I reccommend church, again. And suicide is NOT the answer! You're not a loser, you're a lovely human being who's going through a hard time but CAN GET OUT OF IT.
You need to continue to search for help. You will feel better when you can get out of your home. Report your Father, no one should be beating you. You would be happier in a foster home until you graduate. You can over come anything. Get into a support group.
God Loves you. Pray - suicide is against the Bible.
Wow babes......that is some real heavy sh*t you are dealing with. It sounds like other folk have dumped a load of their stuff on you cause they can't deal with their own crap.
I feel like I want to come and give you a big hug and say cry it out baby, your hurting and in pain, let the tears come.
To go through all you have gone through and still be there shows some true grit and in that you haven't failed. Well done you and hugs for being brave.
It's okay. I'm sorry about your Great Grandmother. You're not a failure! And if your parents hate you and beat you up then they're bastards... You are beautiful on the inside! You are not a loser! Nothing is wrong with you. I reccomend a counceler. And believe in yourself! Don't commit suicide! Everyone loves you no matter what!
It's okay. You don't need to be thin like Macy. You don't need to be perfect. You're not fat until you've reached 240 pounds at 14 years old. You're going through a tough time right now. You've had a hard life and you are doing nothing wrong. Things will get better, you just need to hold on. You're not a loser, and failing suicide is a sign that you're not ready to die. Just hang in there. All you have to do to be loved is be you. Don't change, and don't feel like you need to change. Just stay the same. Good luck, love. I love you! =]]
i can somewhat understand this. i lost a lot of family since 2000. 2 aunts...one grandma...my cousins grandma...i never met my grandfathers..ive been to 500 wakes and funerals in my life...at least 20 something... its not easy. just move on. think about yourself and take care of yourself..after you cry your eyes out of course. let it out its healthy. but try and move on asap. think about you. think that you have to take care of yourself. i don't trust anyone but myself..ive been burned too many times...so i realize its me and myself. in time maybe i will meet people who care. in time im hoping people will change.
did you ever think...maybe you failed suicide for a reason? i bet it was for a reason...for starters you made me feel calm when you answered my post. it doesn't seem like much... but to me it meant a lot. find a good hobby and find a good career and go for it. im all into wrestling and movies and music...i can't live without those things literally. i don't understand people around me at the moment. but when i met some wrestlers i realized they are just like me. one of my faves chris jericho actually talked to me and asked how i was and kept the convo going! it gave me hope and all. don't do suicide. you will be loved. you never know it could happen tomorrow for all you know. but thats just it ..we don't know when..so we just gotta hang in there. if you tried suicide again and the next day you were meant to find your best friend..or husband or whoever...wouldn't it be a waste to kill yourself. just hang in there. i know there are more chris jerichos out there ya know..i just got to go out and move my butt and find them. if i join a music school or something...i would probably fit in. but im stupid and im not doing that..so i gotta be miserable. school isn't good to me so im scared to go back at all. but just hang in there. good luck.
star ;et me help you mail me back. you just need t oshow people the ral you let us other users help you
I don't know who you are, but please know that I care.
This is a HUGE world and people change. Not saying you need to change who you are. Anything can happen really. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. No matter what, there is always hope. You may not feel it now, but trust me, there is. And when your time comes, you'll look back and laugh at it all.
First of all you are not bad & you are not a failure. I am so very sorry that your great grandmother died this morning, I'm sure you love her & that she loved you very much. Please don't let this make you feel like you have no reason to live. You are a young , beautiful person who has problems. But since you've been to mental hospitals there should be someone that you can talk to & that understands what your needs are. I'm sure your mom doesn't hate you. Ask her? She probably is frustrated because she doesn't know what to do to help you. And as far as your dad beating you, well your mom should step in & not allow this to happen. I love you & want you to live. If you believe in God or a higher power, then pray & ask God to give you the strength to go on. Also talk to some trusting adult before it's to late. You are not a tub of lard. You are a wonderful, beautiful, worhwhile person.