I think I may be falling apart. What do I do?!
Question: I was kicked out of my house once and into my dad's which was beyond an awful experience and when I came back, I was completely broken. I cried all the time, I could barely get up ever. I'd been depressed (cutting, therapy) before but this was ridiculous. I'd been totally broken down, I no longer had the strength or will to stand up for myself and I no longer trusted anybody to care about me, so when I had to go to school I played the clown and made jokes all the time. Trust me, it's an easy way to keep people at arm's length. I could get people to trust ME and tell me their problems, which I wanted to do - just because they don't care about me, doesn't mean I don't care about them.
Anyway not too long ago my brother went missing for almost 2 months, the guy I was slowly falling in love with didn't even seem to have any interest, school was going in the ****, and some stuff at work was going down that I wasn't all too happy about. At this same time, I started breaking down again.
Answers: I was kicked out of my house once and into my dad's which was beyond an awful experience and when I came back, I was completely broken. I cried all the time, I could barely get up ever. I'd been depressed (cutting, therapy) before but this was ridiculous. I'd been totally broken down, I no longer had the strength or will to stand up for myself and I no longer trusted anybody to care about me, so when I had to go to school I played the clown and made jokes all the time. Trust me, it's an easy way to keep people at arm's length. I could get people to trust ME and tell me their problems, which I wanted to do - just because they don't care about me, doesn't mean I don't care about them.
Anyway not too long ago my brother went missing for almost 2 months, the guy I was slowly falling in love with didn't even seem to have any interest, school was going in the ****, and some stuff at work was going down that I wasn't all too happy about. At this same time, I started breaking down again.
Try and assert yourself. Loads. Make more of an effort than you ever have before. This may sound stupid and pointless, but it will help you feel better. You won't feel responsible if anything goes wrong, and things will start to brighten up. You seem to be on some sort of rollocoaster, and a lot of people are, but you seem to be more separate from others. Maybe try considering therapy, and spend as much time with your family as possible. Try and find an outlet for your sadness, maybe art, music. I find that art and music can be very stressful though, and might make you feel worse when at first you wont be able to do it. But try listening to some of your favorite music, and watch a comedy film. If you feel your friends don't like you, try and change yourself a bit, experiment with your personalities, and see which one suits you best, that you like, and which makes your friends like you better as well. It's most likely that they do like you, you just don't like yourself, making you feel that they don't either. But there is always hope. Hope this helped!
it's cliche but seek counseling, it's the best thing you can do.
I know therapy sucks! but go do it for yourself!
change your words change your life. You can't depend on others to make you happy. I know it is the hardest thing in the world to have a loved one missing. You have to learn to take care of yourself so I will recommend a book below that will put you on a path of healing yourself. You are going to feel better & things will start getting better & better I have been there I know.
I hear you.
You are indeed going through a tough time.
My advice to you now, is not to get into any boy-girl relationship right now.
There are reasons to why you are feeling this way. And these incidents you had described earlier, are triggers for your feelings. There are root causes which need identification from a trained psychiatrist who will work with you to find a relevant psychologist for you.
For one thing, you need to tell yourself : You want to get well, because there are many things you want to accomplish.
And becoz of this, you should seek help immediately. Go to your GP, ask for psyche referral immediately. Also ask for emergency numbers which you can call before you see your referred psychiatrist.
Remember : you decide the future you want. What people had done to you should not influence your thoughts or even deprive you from being happy.
Therapy will help you.
you need support and motivation. hang in there your first step is admmiting you need help. tell me about why you are going through this. i will try to help the best i can