Help with suicidal friend?!
Question: i have this friend who wants to kill herself
she's not emo, not mad or sad or whatever
she thinks living's annoying and wants to die
and no, she doesn't have problems
she isn't lesbian who's coming out
she gets good grades
she has a great family unless they are hypocrites
she already tried to commit suicide a couple of times before i met her (she tried sleeping pills and woke up the next day vomiting, she tried to cut but only bleed and didn't die)
she does look bored and annoyed by life and is a smoker
(wonder where she gets the cig cuz she's underage)
she's not into drugs
she does draw well...but depresssssssing or weird stuff
she's mental (a little)
when i try to help she's just a pain in the ***
we are both atheistic (so suicide isn't a sin)
i want to help her...
any advice?
by the way,
don't tell me to make her visit a doctor
or to believe in god
or talk to an adult (she doesn't like to trust many people/ not including me)
Answers: i have this friend who wants to kill herself
she's not emo, not mad or sad or whatever
she thinks living's annoying and wants to die
and no, she doesn't have problems
she isn't lesbian who's coming out
she gets good grades
she has a great family unless they are hypocrites
she already tried to commit suicide a couple of times before i met her (she tried sleeping pills and woke up the next day vomiting, she tried to cut but only bleed and didn't die)
she does look bored and annoyed by life and is a smoker
(wonder where she gets the cig cuz she's underage)
she's not into drugs
she does draw well...but depresssssssing or weird stuff
she's mental (a little)
when i try to help she's just a pain in the ***
we are both atheistic (so suicide isn't a sin)
i want to help her...
any advice?
by the way,
don't tell me to make her visit a doctor
or to believe in god
or talk to an adult (she doesn't like to trust many people/ not including me)
I note that she has tried twice, but failed, which may be a cry for attention, as well as for help. She may well be depressed. Is she getting any help with her problems? Tell her how much you need her around, to be your friend. A previous post: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS: I went through a similar thing to you; it's important to realise that you are probably deeply depressed at present, but even so, you may still remember times when life was good. Well, it can be again, and soon: but you need treatment, which is readily available; all you have to do is reach out for it. See suicidal thoughts, and depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in sections 5, and 2. If the suicidal feelings become overwhelming, take a taxi, or call an ambulance, or use public transport, to take you to the nearest ER, or mental health facility, or call your local emergency number. 911 (USA), 000 (Australia), 999 (Great Britain), or 111 (New Zealand); see the phone book elsewhere. Don't drive, yourself: you may well be a danger to others on the roads, in your current mental state. Too many people are found, and revived, but have suffered permanent mental damage, and live the rest of their lives in a semi vegetative state: their family, and friends feel guilty, and responsible, for not noticing the signs, and doing something about it. It's a very nasty thing for them to have to go through, too, even though I appreciate that life is certainly no bed of roses for you, at present, so please, get help, right now: seek assistance, or use the hotlines provided. ~~~ There is a quiz about depression, through sections 1, and 2, at ezy build, below: print the result, and take along to your primary mental health care provider. With depression, there is a choice of possible treatment types which needs to be made, and you can decide to use either allopathy, (modern Western medicine) with its reliance on antidepressants and therapy, or alternative treatments, which I advise trying first. This is because antidepressants are known to increase the rates of suicide, homicide, and aberrent behavio(u)r, particularly with young people, and often have unwanted side effects, such as sexual dysfunction, and/or weight gain.
Tests have shown that apart from clinical (major) depression, their results were not significantly superior to those taking a placebo (inert, or "sugar pill"). Antidepressants retain a degree of long term effectiveness for only around 30% of people. There is a saying in the mental health field: "If the only tool you have in your kit is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as a nail". So it goes with doctors, and their prescription pads: handy, quick, and convenient, when trying to manage their large list of patients, and often allocating only 10 minutes to each.
Most of them are only trained to provide antidepressants and referrals for therapy, with those whose depression is resistant to those treatments being advised to have ElectroConvulsive Therapy, (ECT) with its risk of permanent, partial memory loss. Therapy, while often effective at first, becomes "same old, same old" after a while, for many people.
I now advise people to: (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, (certified free of mercury) with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their freshly squeezed juice. If vitamin E is used, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it's synthetic, avoid it. (2.) Work up slowly to 30 - 60 minutes of exercise, daily. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection). (4.) Use daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 2.c, 2.i, or 11, and/or yoga, Tai Chi, and/or the EFT, in sections 2.q, 2.o, and section 53, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris whichever works best for you. (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. (6.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, or a supplement, such as SAMe, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).
If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking around 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L). It should be above 32 ng/ml.
Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe, anytime. Omega 3 fish oil supplements: EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid (omega 3) ----360 mg.DHA (docosahexaenoic acid (omega 3)-----240 mg
Take enough supplements to attain, or exceed the levels (no possibility of overdose) of those every day, with an orange, or the juice of a freshly squeezed orange, grapefruit, or other antioxidant.
(make sure the epa is higher then the dha) important for adults... kids need the opposite levels: more dha than epa, but all are beneficial, if you can't achieve the recommended proportions.
They should be certified as being free of mercury, and if containing vitamin E, it should be shown as from a natural source; otherwise it is synthetic: avoid it! Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, (60% of depressed people have low vitamin D levels!) using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult to achieve.
I want to die too, i'm just a chicken.If she has a friend than she's doing better than me.Maybe she needs a boyfriend, or maybe she just is in the same place as I am ,and just can't see the point anymore ,and really wants to die.
You could start by trying to really get to know her because obviously one or more of the things listed is not true.
I have had a really shitty life and made it through. Sad, but when people are at the edge, I just tell them snippets from life and they don't feel so bad.
I guess there must be a God. My crazy '***' is still here (smile)...
Most people wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole, but here goes nothing, Ask her why shes depressed, I know you already have, but this time, ask for a deeper reason, a deeper meaning, there has to be some psychological problem. Ask her what annoys her the most, and why it annoys her, and think of ways you can help her get over it. Ask deeply about her family, it could also be family related, or maybe something in school. It can be literally Anything, people are different we all reach the point where we just loose control, some loose it faster than others, ask her what she really wants, besides death, ask her about her "goals" what she would do with life, You say both of you are Athesis, then why doesn't she enjoy the miricle of life. If you need anymore advice, just mail me, I want to help.