Not sure what to do for Recovering Boyfriend..?!
Question: I am very much in love with my boyfriend, and he says he feels the same. we are miserable without eachother, and have just recently began to take the necessary steps to better our relationship. he estranges himself time to time due to his bi-polar disorder, which i am willing to live with. i have no problem being at his side through anything. He was a recovering alcoholic, and was about a year and a half sober. this past weekend, however, he unknowingly drank something which had some alcohol in it that a family member gave him. he now feels as if he has to start over, which i do see his point. he is so angry at himself for allowing this to happen, and has once again estranged himself from me. i'm not sure what to say to comfort him and let him know that i'm here no matter what. or if i should just give him his space for now? i do not want to lose this man, and i do not want him to feel as if i have abandoned him. any advice?
Answers: I am very much in love with my boyfriend, and he says he feels the same. we are miserable without eachother, and have just recently began to take the necessary steps to better our relationship. he estranges himself time to time due to his bi-polar disorder, which i am willing to live with. i have no problem being at his side through anything. He was a recovering alcoholic, and was about a year and a half sober. this past weekend, however, he unknowingly drank something which had some alcohol in it that a family member gave him. he now feels as if he has to start over, which i do see his point. he is so angry at himself for allowing this to happen, and has once again estranged himself from me. i'm not sure what to say to comfort him and let him know that i'm here no matter what. or if i should just give him his space for now? i do not want to lose this man, and i do not want him to feel as if i have abandoned him. any advice?
First off you need to make sure he knows that being an alcholic and recovering from it doesn't mean you can NEVER drink a drop of alchol again.
If you have self control a beer or even a sip won't make you fall off the wagon again. If it was only a little than he should be fine.
I know its only a cartoon show but South Park has an episode about it. In the end the father learned that he could drink in moderation and not have a problem.
If your BF is Bi-polar and if it is as bad as this then he should be seeing a psychatrist and should probably be on medications.
I would seriously recommend Al-Anon. I am also an alcoholic and believe me, if I "unknowingly" drank something with alcohol I would know it. I went to a concert once and thought I had bought what I thought was a fruit smoothie but it had some kind of liquor. One sip was enough and I threw it out. I didn't count it as a relapse because it was an accident.
what is the meaning of "starting over"?unknowingly drinking some cough syrup with alcohol doesn't terminate his sobriety unless he starts drinking.
tell him to not be concerned unless he starts again.
As heartbreaking as this may sound, you're not going to be with him forever( yeah our love is greater than any-blah blah blah). Just do both of you a favor and leave him.