Why am i still unhappy?!


Question: im 23 and have been suffering from domestic violence since i was 16.
i had too move out of home because i couldnt cope, i failed uni because of it and last year the police got involved, things have now been calmer and everything is ok... and iv moved back home.
this year iv re-enroled back into the course in uni but im feeling soo unmoviated and i constanly cry for no apparant reason and just sleep most of my time.
most of my friends know wat happened and they think im happy but im not happy at all.
i have had concelling before but found this did nothing to help me. i dont know what to do.


Answers: im 23 and have been suffering from domestic violence since i was 16.
i had too move out of home because i couldnt cope, i failed uni because of it and last year the police got involved, things have now been calmer and everything is ok... and iv moved back home.
this year iv re-enroled back into the course in uni but im feeling soo unmoviated and i constanly cry for no apparant reason and just sleep most of my time.
most of my friends know wat happened and they think im happy but im not happy at all.
i have had concelling before but found this did nothing to help me. i dont know what to do.

If you are at uni, you could try seeing the counsellor on site. Sometimes you don't have a good rapport with the counsellor, and thus it does nothing for you. It may be that you simply need someone you get along better with. You could also go to the your GP, who will likely ask you to complete a depression inventory, and take it from there. He may offer you anti-depressants to help.

You need to be more understanding of yourself. You have been exposed to prolonged trauma, and at sixteen, you were still maturing. As such, this will have had an effect on your development, particualarly that of your confidence. I was bullied through school, from the ages of 11-17, and I was still depressed at the age of 20. Technically, there was nothing wrong, but I still felt awful all the time. You have to re-learn to be happy, to have faith in yourself, to strive for the things you want, and it's not easy, but you should be proud of every little step you make. Try setting up a points system. It sounds stupid, but if you get a "virtual point" for everything you achieve that you were scared to try, or felt you couldn't, it tracks your progress. Set a target, e.g. when I get 10, I can... (enter something you really like, e.g. go on a short holiday, buy yourself something nice, stay in bed all day etc.)
Giving yourself incentives can help.

Also, keep a journal or diary, and just use the pages to scream out all the sh*t. Write freely, it doesn't have to be perfect, just expressive. Stick pictures in it if you want! I used to do this, and nearly two years on, I feel so much better in myself (still have grey days, but mostly on the up) and I look back and think "OMG did I really feel like that?" and it makes me feel like I've achieved something that I've come so far.

Really what I'm saying is, you will feel like this. You were bereaved of happiness for years, and you learned to be hopeless. Now you have to fight hard to unlearn it, and I know you can, because you still have the power to ask for help like you have here.

Fight the good fight hun xXx

better consult a psychiatrist
he can help u better

I was like that, I had a good job and all that but hated it then between jobs I did some temp work to put me on and thats when I found out my life wasn't that bad at all. What I did for my old job was ten steps up from what most others were doing so my point is you should go and do some sh1t job for crap pay as a weekend job and see if you think you could live the rest of your life like that because if you dont stop feeling sorry for your self and get into uni thats what your life will be.
As for me I now fix Jet Engines so you know what I thought about it.

Being a victim of domestic violence, u need prolonged psychiatric counselling in addition to consultation from a social psychologist. I hope ur family co-operates with u but even if they do not, u have 2 do it ur self. After all it is ur life. This is the only way out.





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