I fell in love with a man that has Borderline Personality Disorder and is Bi-Pol!
Question: I knew from day 1 on that my boyfriend has BLP and Bi-Polar and I never really knew what to expect. He refuses to take medication, because he says that his creative side got lost the last time he was on medication (he draws and writes). He is really wonderful to me, it is just himself that is not very good to. He is also a cutter. Not often since we have been together, but every once in a while, he will get depressed...
Anyways, we are about to move together and allthough I really really love him, I am terrified to discover the mentally ill side of his... What do I have to watch out for? What do I have to expect?
Answers: I knew from day 1 on that my boyfriend has BLP and Bi-Polar and I never really knew what to expect. He refuses to take medication, because he says that his creative side got lost the last time he was on medication (he draws and writes). He is really wonderful to me, it is just himself that is not very good to. He is also a cutter. Not often since we have been together, but every once in a while, he will get depressed...
Anyways, we are about to move together and allthough I really really love him, I am terrified to discover the mentally ill side of his... What do I have to watch out for? What do I have to expect?
Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do on the subject! My fiance is bi polar and can get a little out of control when hes stressed or irritated. Not to mention he can lash out a bit when hes even just a little annoyed. He doesn't take medication and for the most part he keeps himself under control. He has never hurt me or our young daughter...but sadly there was a time when our poor wall suffered his wrath. So for the bi polar area I wouldn't worry too much...if he can control himself with out the medicine and never hurts you or the people around you then you just have to be patient with him. As for the cutting that can be something serious wo worry about. You don't want him going to far. Have you asked him to get help? If not don't be afraid to! Also consider the reasons he might be doing it? Is it for attention or is it a serious condition that needs to be addressed? The best piece of advice I can give you if to just be there for him and patient...he may not always be in control but that doesn't make him a bad person and as long as he is in no way abusive to you in any way and you really love him and think it can really work stick with it because it will get easier. As for what to watch for, the cutting itself if a very large clue that something could be really wrong. Other than doing physical harm to himself or others I can't honestly say I've ever seen any thing to worry about with my fiance and hes never hurt anyone (especially since we got together). I hope things go well with your new move and best of wishes to you both!
Good Luck!
Emily C
this sounds like a good idea for a comedy film :P(apart from the cutting, thats bad)
Love is no reason to make your life miserable with poor choices for your own well-being. You can choose a healthy person as easily as a sick one. If you are terrified, there is a good reason for it. Listen to your instincts.
ppl like that off meds are very dangerous to themselves and others. You can't help ppl that wont help themselves. Get out now for your own safety and mental stability cause he will at the very least do your head in
hi
my big sister my mum have blp and my dad has bi polar.
medication should be used as a last resort...
if you think he is sinking into a swing of deppression get them to exercise run with him swim with him
LOTS OF ENCOUREMENT
LOTS OF LOVE
LOTS OF SEX
thats your best bet.
Umm...
If you ever leave him, theres gonna be hell to pay.
His gonna go abosluley mental.
Do yourself a favour and leave him now, unless you want to encounter a life of depression and sadness
Stay with him, you might be sharing your life with the next wonderful Vincent Vangogh
Really you're pushin' it girl! I work with women, young and old, being a masseur and healer by profession. Women sometimes get themselves in a serious delema when they 'really love' someone and overlook serious mental and emotional disturbances. I have met many of these young women, and the stories are all the same!
I might mention here that I am an artist and a writer, as well as a healing practitioner and masseur.
Usually I see young women after they've loved someone so much it hurts. I understand that. Sounds like you're just at the point of taking a step deeper into the situation.
Love is all very well, but not enough!! And that goes for anyone in my book. Basically what you see is what you get. If your friend can at least take the step to have his condition diagnosed and treated somehow at least then you'd get an idea(in the long term) of his likelly attitude and strengths. Otherwise.....well it's up to you of course. Bi-polar people can, if untreated , become very dangerous and unpredictable.
My suggestion is there. If you let it go because you love him SO Much I would expect you to end up in a mess. Sorry
Anyway how do you know he has this condition?
That's hard. I have had depression since I was a child. I have been taking meds and going to therapy, and it's better, but it never goes away. I feel bad for my husband and often think that he shouldn't have married me because it would be better for him to be with someone normal.
My point is that it is very likely that your boyfriend will not get better, but actually get worse as time goes on. Then he will start making your life difficult. If I were you I would find someone else who is stable. Most people in relationships are intending to get married one day...if you marry him and have children, his condition will have a very negative impact on your children. So I would get out now and avoid all of that mess. The longer you're in the relationship, the harder it will be to break up later, for both of you. Life is short and there are "plenty of fish in the sea."
I'm sorry that you're in this situation, it must be hard for both of you.
This is what you can expect. He may put on an act a lot and then get really withdrawn at times. Beware of feeling guilty when you can't help him because you won't always be able to help him.