I have a borderline friend, confusing/frustrating?!
Question: Ok so giving up this friend isnt really an option, we have been friends since she was 3 and I was 4. I've known her all my life. Shes been diagnosed as borderline, and its really confusing for me. I try to be a good friend, I care about her a lot I always stand up for her, but she frequently pushes me away. Yet she says her worst fear is rejection. Sometimes she'll act super nice but then sometimes not. She doesnt let me in a lot on her life which hurts, cuz I want us to be close like we used to be.
My question is, how do I know its not something im doing wrong? Maybe she really just doesnt feel like we click anymore or I dont know...is it just her personality trait? How can i connect with her better?
Answers: Ok so giving up this friend isnt really an option, we have been friends since she was 3 and I was 4. I've known her all my life. Shes been diagnosed as borderline, and its really confusing for me. I try to be a good friend, I care about her a lot I always stand up for her, but she frequently pushes me away. Yet she says her worst fear is rejection. Sometimes she'll act super nice but then sometimes not. She doesnt let me in a lot on her life which hurts, cuz I want us to be close like we used to be.
My question is, how do I know its not something im doing wrong? Maybe she really just doesnt feel like we click anymore or I dont know...is it just her personality trait? How can i connect with her better?
haha i'm sorry
the last thing you said made me laugh
at how ignorant you are.
NO ONE WITH A MENTAL DISORDER CAN HELP IT.
NO ONE WITH A MENTAL DISORDER WANTS PEOPLE TO GIVE UP ON THEM LIKE THEY DON'T EVEN MATTER.
IT IS VERY VERY VERY VERY HARD TO BE A TEENAGER WITH A MENTAL DISORDER.
you're really selfish.
she needs a helping hand. your mom obviously
discriminates against people with mental disorders
since instead of giving ya a push and encouragement to
help your friend, she tells you to give her up.
are you really going to do that? are you really going
to give up on her after years and years of being friends?
i'm bipolar...i also have ADHD. i'm 18, senior in h.s.
i've had ADHD for awhile, but come freshman year it got worse[wasn't on meds at the time] when my bipolar disorder was developing....not to mention i have severe mania, which causes me to kindda get pissy a lot of the time [but it's better now] and whatnot....and well, it went untreated till last march. i lost all of my friends except my girlfriend. you think it hurts how she's pushing you away...try going out somewhere that you know your old friends might be at and try so hard not to have a panic attack because you know they hate you and given up on you because you had a problem.
that's how it is with me. when i was going through some pretty rough manic episodes, i lied a lot. it cost me some of my best firneds and other close school mates. it still hurts me a lot, it's not from the lows of BP when it hurts, but it's the real teenage emotions showing.
you don't understand anything about the life of a person with a mood disorder or personality disorder. it is VERY hard to deal with until you are finally recoverying from it.
she pushes you away because she can't help it. that's what people with her disorder[and mine] do. we push people away because we feel like we're nothing but **** ups. maybe you should try to ask her. you need to research on BPD. you need to understand her before you throw her away.
it's not because you're doing something wrong, or you don't click, it's not her personality trait, it's HER BRAIN malfunction.
don't hate her for something she was born with...ya honestly think it's easy knowing you're screwing up things when you don't even mean to?
i'm sorry, but the girl has BPD...you're being kindda selfish.
it's not her fault. it's not your fault. research on it.
she's got trust issues obviously...and now i can see why.
when a person with BPD or BP is in a vulnerable state, they can't trust people because it's all black and white thinking. they think they aren't good enough and will never amount to everyones standards. they think people will just leave them.
so don't leave her. be a true friend.
i can't tell you how much i wish i had my friends back.
it was VERY hard recovering from BP when all i had was my girl, her mom, and my dad and his side of the family...my mom and sisters aren't exactly the type to help me through problems.
RESEARCH and don't give up on her because of something beyond her control.
You're not doing anything wrong -- you can see this for yourself by the way that OTHERS react to you.
BPD is a very difficult and heartbreaking thing to deal with, and I know you don't want to give up on your friend. And it's great that she has a friend like that in you.
But -- when she isn't treating you well, then it is wise to step back until her episode passes, because as much as you want to be there for your friend, you also must protect yourself -- heart, mind and body.
Read up on BPD and that might give you some insight into what you are going to be dealing with.
Give her space, don't go around her much let her make the move to want to be a better friend, you keep asking her what is wrong and why she is pushing you away she will snap and just start acting meaner & meaner untill you finely give up, then you will never see or talk to her again, just give her alot of space let her call you let her do what she needs to do to take care of her self and she will call you when she needs you. And also take into considerration that you two my have grown apart and it's time to let go if she don't ever call on you again.I hope things work out for you and your friend. God Bless,I will be praying for you.