How can i help a friend with bipolar / manic depression?!
Question: i have a good friend who told me a while back that he was bipolar...and it explained a lot about why he was getting so depressed etc...he went away for rehab for something else but came back with a full line of meds and it was wonderful...completely dif person...and more of the person that i first met almost a yr ago now...anyway the last month I have watched as he dips down to what I am guessing is an episode of depression...it started with him inviting me to a neices bday party and i dont know if someone made a comment about us being together or if a trigger was something else but he has been distant since...a couple weeks ago he told me that i havne't done a thing, but he just wants to be alone...he has a roommate and told me he can't wait til the lease is up so he can be even more alone...now I am respecting what he told me and haven't attempted to contact him outside a text msg to say happy easter...but how can i help him?
Answers: i have a good friend who told me a while back that he was bipolar...and it explained a lot about why he was getting so depressed etc...he went away for rehab for something else but came back with a full line of meds and it was wonderful...completely dif person...and more of the person that i first met almost a yr ago now...anyway the last month I have watched as he dips down to what I am guessing is an episode of depression...it started with him inviting me to a neices bday party and i dont know if someone made a comment about us being together or if a trigger was something else but he has been distant since...a couple weeks ago he told me that i havne't done a thing, but he just wants to be alone...he has a roommate and told me he can't wait til the lease is up so he can be even more alone...now I am respecting what he told me and haven't attempted to contact him outside a text msg to say happy easter...but how can i help him?
A significant number of bipolar sufferers resist taking their medications because they so miss the "high" or manic phase of their disease that they incorrectly believe that to be the person they really are and they are willing to risk the low end in order to preserve the high. You are in no way responsible for your friend. The only thing you can do is continue to love and support him by consistently and firmly insisting that he stay on prescribed medications. If he suffers from those "basement" lows in the depressive side of his disease he will not listen to anyone and have no motivation for change, isolation is the easy way out. Don't personalize any of his actions or comments during this phase as he is truly "not himself". But remember---- you cannot have a real relationship with people suffering from this disease unless and until they are willing to get consistent medical help including medication and therapeutic follow up. You will only be in for heartache otherwise.
Edit: Although this is not true for everyone with bipolar disorder, some untreated persons can become dangerous to themselves and others, my daughter's boyfriend was an awesome young man but unmedicated for any amount of time and he was a loose cannon. The last instance we had to have the police escort him from our home. She just grew weary of the rollercoaster relationship and although she still cares deeply about him has learned not to get "sucked" back in during his very charming "manic" phase as she did time and time again. Best of luck to you and to him.
i had someone like that, all u gotta do is be there for him, and help him and talk to him when he really needs it, so just do what u have to do
The best way to help him is to encourage him to continue to take his medications. Let him know that you have noticed some changes, and that you are concerned. Ask him if he would consider phoning his psychiatrist to see about the possible need for a medication adjustment. Be as supportive as you possibly can be. It is frequently the case that when folks start to feel better, they stop taking their meds. Unfortunately, this starts the entire cycle over again. It is absolutely vital that folks with bipolar disorder take their medications consistently.
Hang in there,
~M~
most of them don't take their medicine and when they do this the depression gets worse he has to take his medicine and my son has this and he acts exactly like him and he prefers to be alone just be there when he asks otherwise this is tell you you cant fix him and it is hard to watch people when they have this it is heartbreaking
The thing about bipolar people is they are in extremes sometimes and you are right, he will think you stopped caring and he won't know why, unless he thinks really hard and depresses himself more about how he stopped associating with you. The extremes make one think and feel kinda childlike. So you could say hi and just expect a bumpy friendship with you sometimes not with him or you could walk away. Depends what you want with him. It'd be great that you are trying to be his friend anyway. Maybe it will help to know a friend is still there.
Bipolar people think in "always" and "never" a lot when they're down so watch out that you just say hi and feel him out first so he doesn't hurt your feelings if he already got upset you didn't call him.
You are in a very difficult position.. and are clearly an amazing friend.
Unfortunatly the only thing you can do is just be there for him. You may feel like you are prying but ask him to make sure he is taking his meds as prescribed.
If he is, urge him to go to his Dr. offer to go with him. They are obviously not controlling his highs and lows enough and may need to try another med.
He might have built up a tolerance to them and may need his dosage increased.
You are definatly starting the right way. Just make sure he knows he can trust you completely and that you only want to help him be happy!
Good Luck!
well, i honestly already have problems in relationships, but i think you should just try doin somethin fun with him, like going to the amusement park with him and a few other friends, goin to a movie, i guess just spending time together and with other friends could cheer him p, it does to me,, but dont let him got bored of you, like i said, not always you 2 alone, but sometimes take other ppl with you
Bipolar is a very serious illness. My sister is in her 40's and she is bipolar. She also is on meds. Research bipolar on the web, there is a lot of information about bipolar and the signs to watch for. Somehow you have to make sure he takes his meds or there can be severe consequences. Please make sure that you resarch and hopefully some of the information you find will help you cope with this situation. I do understand. I did research and it helped me tremendously.
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor. REMEMBER THIS, HE IS YOUR FRIEND AND REMIND IF YOU CAN YOU WILL BE THERE ALWAYS WHENEVER HE NEEDS YOU.
you may not be able to help him. from my experience, it's impossible to have a normal relationship with a bi-polar person. he should be under a doctor's supervision, taking medications, etc...if he's not complying with doctor's orders, and taking his meds, he could actually get dangerous. if and when he snaps out of his dark spell, go out to lunch with him or something and say something like "you really had me worried for a while, i hope you'll get some treatment so you won't have another low spell like the one you had a few weeks ago"( he might not like this though, you might not wanna say something like this...feel this situation out carefully)
also, these people will "self medicate" with alcohol and drugs...this is not the person you want fathering your children, bi polar disorder runs in families...bi polar folks want to be alone alot...you might send him something to brighten his day...something he can enjoy while he is alone, maybe a simple basket with some popcorn, some fruit, and a movie you think he'd like. this will not completely snap him out of it, and it won't cure him, but it will let him know you care, and it may brighten his day a bit...just don't think you can cure him, cause you never will...he might get better and have less mood swings as he moves into his 40s and 50s, but while he's young, he could have alot of problems, like addictions. these people self medicate with addictions like sexual addictions and gambling. i highly discourage marriage and serious relationships with bi polar people, i'm sorry, but i really do, they're great when they are compliant with thier meds, but sooner or later, they all experiement with doing things thier way, and you don't wanna be around for that.
You can't, other than by going on with your life, keeping yourself healthy and your stress levels as low as possible, so that if he does turn to you for help, you will have the strength to help. Sending an occasional message to him will establish a point of contact that he can choose to follow up on if he wants help. Share a bit about what's going on in your life, and don't ask for anything in return.
You suspect that the comment about you being together might have triggered his withdrawal. Were you hoping you might someday be more than friends? If so, then don't wait for him. Maybe he'll come out of his shell sometime, and maybe you'll be available then. He'll feel less pressured if you aren't expecting anything from him.