What does this mean? Am I losing it?!
Question: Many days, I am feeling like crap inside. I'm NOT in any way suicidal but daily I consider death and almost wonder if it will solve my problems. I feel like I'm hanging on for just my mother's sake. I fear losing her because then I would end up being all alone in the world. I know I will never be able to trust anyone else on such a deep level. Has anyone else ever felt like this?
I've been carrying these feelings around for many months. I rarely socialize or do anything fun anymore (not that I was ever a social butterfly but nothing has ever felt this dreary and depressing before). I just work, work, work- maybe about 60 hours a week between two jobs. I'm scared of what my future holds at this point. I never thought my life would be this way in my mid 20s. Besides "talking to someone", what should I do? I personally don't trust mental health professionals.
Answers: Many days, I am feeling like crap inside. I'm NOT in any way suicidal but daily I consider death and almost wonder if it will solve my problems. I feel like I'm hanging on for just my mother's sake. I fear losing her because then I would end up being all alone in the world. I know I will never be able to trust anyone else on such a deep level. Has anyone else ever felt like this?
I've been carrying these feelings around for many months. I rarely socialize or do anything fun anymore (not that I was ever a social butterfly but nothing has ever felt this dreary and depressing before). I just work, work, work- maybe about 60 hours a week between two jobs. I'm scared of what my future holds at this point. I never thought my life would be this way in my mid 20s. Besides "talking to someone", what should I do? I personally don't trust mental health professionals.
I really don't know if this will help for you to know, but it has been my experience and I will share it with you like I have many others in hopes of helping you out with this problem. My mother died suddenly in 2004 and really rocked my world. My dad had passed away a couple of years before that and I was still dealing with losing him, he was my best friend. Here it is 2008 and I am just coming to grips with it that my mother is gone from me forever. I guess I am trying to say that a few months isn't time enough for you to be over it all. Give yourself time to get through the grief and it will be fine. I really don't know that there is any set amount of time to help you find your closure. I suppose it varies with each individual and the closeness with whomever they lose. It is most certainly the toughest thing I have ever been through in my 48 years. But this too shall eventually pass. Try to find ways to just make it through and don't be so hard on yourself. You are not losing it at all. You are learning to deal with having lost a close family member and the fear of dealing with another loss and what that might bring. Some grief counseling might help, but you said you didn't trust mental health professionals so there you go for that. But please know that you are all right and all of this, as crazy as it feels to you, is absolutely normal and necessary. Hang in there!
I think you should try to get some medication, because it seems like depression. I know how you feel, i also have depression. I know you don't trust mental health professionals, but going to one CAN HELP! I know it helped me, and it can help you too!
It sounds like you're suffering from depression. You say you're not suicidal yet you have thoughts about death daily. You should see a doctor and get a better diagnosis on your situation. Perhaps you're still grieving over your lossed one and it is not really depression. In any case you should see a doctor.
dont get on meds ever