Anxiety issues...?!
Question: I am so weird- I can be walking through the mall and see an old friend and when they say hey or come talk to me I get all red and hot and stuff... and I dont feel nervous at all! And no, it doesnt happen all the time but enough to suck! Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice or ways to stop it??
Answers: I am so weird- I can be walking through the mall and see an old friend and when they say hey or come talk to me I get all red and hot and stuff... and I dont feel nervous at all! And no, it doesnt happen all the time but enough to suck! Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice or ways to stop it??
I'd say it's more about being self conscious, which is associated with social anxiety. I'll include my standard post, but view section 9. It might help to immediately focus on their appearance: look them up and down, and try to find something to compliment them on: "I like your belt/handbag"; " Is that ring/brooch, necklace, etc. new? "Where did you get those shoes, Griselda?" This gives your mind something to do, rather than focusing on yourself. SOCIAL ANXIETY: See social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger. Rewind your mistakes. Let's say you want to change an annoying laugh that you have, when you hear something funny, your old laugh will come out. You have to immediately think of what you wanted to happen, (i.e. your new, practiced laugh) and then do it immediately. It will be a little bit late, but slowly you will start to pair the two together, and eventually your brain will become conditioned to switch the first for the second. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to instill a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, in the reprogramming process.
for some reason I always get anxiety attacks in the mall,I think it is the air in there and we are closed in and people all around you make it worse.
sounds like you are a little self conscience
I have the "flushes" as well ! It makes me feel like whom ever I am with will think I'm lying of that I've passed gas or something It IS embarrassing !!! I excuse myself telling them that I am being bothered with "anxiety flushes" and that seems to make them go away (the flushes I mean) If u think they are 'wondering' it makes it worse. I am taking a med that seems to be helping but I hate taking any meds for the side effects Effexor is the med. Good luck I know my blood pressure goes up @ that time too and thats not good. So work on talking to yourself inside...it does help!