Toooo much drinking?????!
Question: my mom drinks alot (only natrual light beer) she tells me she drinks because it helps her clean the house now that my dad passed away it got even worst i have 4 big bothers that wont even wash a dish i know shes stressed i help her alot im the only one that does but i cry knowing that 3 or 5 beers are too much does beer help her or is she addicted what do i do i have talkd to her many times about quiting but her answer is that she has no help with cleaning. when she drinks she talks a lot of crap to me and calls me stupid she brings up every problem she has in life. WHAT DO I DO its been goin on for years.
Answers: my mom drinks alot (only natrual light beer) she tells me she drinks because it helps her clean the house now that my dad passed away it got even worst i have 4 big bothers that wont even wash a dish i know shes stressed i help her alot im the only one that does but i cry knowing that 3 or 5 beers are too much does beer help her or is she addicted what do i do i have talkd to her many times about quiting but her answer is that she has no help with cleaning. when she drinks she talks a lot of crap to me and calls me stupid she brings up every problem she has in life. WHAT DO I DO its been goin on for years.
Well, sweetie, this is the typical life of an alcoholic. I recognize it because I live that type of life too. The only difference is that it is my hubby instead of my Mom. I* am so sorry you have to deal with this because I know how hard it is for me, an adult. It must be twice as hard for a child. As the first person to answer said, it is up to your Mom to do something about her drinking. She is probably trying to drown her feelings ofthe loss of your Dad and is not knowing what to do next. She may need grief counseling as do you and your siblings. Enlist the help of an adult friend or clergyman to convince her. Someone else who has experienced such loss may be able to guide your Mom to get help. As far as the crap- talk she gives you, remove yourself from the scene. Just go to your room and stay out of her way. I refuse to talk to by husband when he is doing that and it helps me a great deal. Be persistent and she may finally give up on trying to load you down with guilt. From your email question I can tell that you love her and want things to be different. You are defiantly NOT STUPID! You are a good girl to help and I hope your Mom gets it together soon before she pulls down the whole family.You are not equipped to listen to her problems, so tell her she needs to talk to a professional. You need to concentrate on yourself and being the best person you can be. I will say a prayer for you!!!
There is nothing you really can do besides tell her how you feel. and it may not work. Only she can make decisions for herself. You just have to deal with it. Just tell her you love her and that your there if she needs help
i agree with the above answer-its sad but we cant force people to change. find some support for yourself, and dont feel responsible!!
Yr mum is an alcoholic and she needs to find help.
Right now that person, the responsibility falls to you.
It's a great burden I know.
, stop making excuses for her, Tell her to find help.
Good luck, I know how dificult this is, both my parents were alcoholics. It's not easy. You can always e-mail if you need any further help or advice. tc.
There are different types of alcoholism but this just might be one.
It would be a big help if you could talk to your brothers and get them to help around the house. Have a family meeting, assign everyone one chore, they can't complain over one wee chore a week. Let them know how this is making you feel, and if they're concerned about your mum as well. Family members are meant to be there for each other through tough times, you shouldn't have to go through this on your own.
You might want to look up your local newspaper/yellow pages for the phonenumber for Al-Anon. It's a group for people who are friends and family of alcoholics. It would give you some support seeing as it is upsetting you so much.
Your mother can only get help if she wants it. You could try talking to her about it but she might be in denial. At least let her know that she has the option to ring the AA helpline or attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. It's the only thing that will truly help her recover.
Take care of yourself.
If she needs beer to function in any way, she's addicted. You can tell her you are willing to help her however you can, and you should tell your brothers that they need to do their share. I'm terribly sorry about your dad. It's a difficult time for everyone, and it seems your mom needs some professional help in dealing with her grief. When she starts dumping her problems on you, tell her you understand she's going through a tough time, but you aren't able to help her sort through her problems. She should find someone who is trained to help her work through this. That can be a counselor, a therapist, or even a priest. You have to remember that the alcohol is actually making your mom feel worse. Unfortunately, you can't force your mom to do anything. It can be helpful if you have an adult you trust, like an aunt or uncle, that you can go to and explain what is going on. Have that adult approach your mom with you to tell her that she needs to get some help in dealing with her problems so she doesn't take things out on you.
Talk with your brothers about pitching in just a little around the house. It shouldn't be just your mother's job. It's great that you're helping out. She probably hasn't dealt with the death of your dad, and the drinking is "helping" her. It's probably doing more long-term bad than good. Not to mention that she's wearing you down emotionally. Be honest with her. Tell her you're worried about her drinking. Tell her you love her but hate that she drinks. Ask her to find a healthy way to deal with the stress and emotions of her loss and the lack of help from your brothers. Suggest other outlets she can use to cope. Be there for her and love her. Maybe you could all go for family counseling or to a grief support group. If you don't deal with problems and emotions, they fester, eat away at you, and leak out at all the wrong times (lashing out at someone, planning revenge on someone who wronged you, crying at work, etc.).
I think that she is using cleaning as an excuse for drinking. Alcoholics do not always think of themselves as an alcoholic. So she probably doesn't realize what she is doing. I don't know if this will help and it can backfire so really think about it first buy you can video her when she is acting this way and let her see it when she is not drunk. She might then realize how she is acting.
Call AA (Alcoholic Anonomous) and see if they have any suggestions about aproaching your mom about it.