Mother issues?!
Question: ok well my mom is the type of person to always put me down,, like eveytime i try and say i want to accomplish something she is constantly reminding me you remember last time or you cant do that and says all i ever do is dream and stick to stuff you can do, i dont know how to really explain it, and since i started new meds that she insisted me to be on i gained some weight from them and shes yelling at me and saying how fat and ugly and tells me how i should always go work out and blah blah i mean im not fat just chubby lol.. but i mean she makes me crazy and i can see how shes affected the way i present myself now and how much more self concious i am , im embrassed to do anything thinking i'll fail.. and i can just see her sitting there laughing at me telling me she knew i couldnt do it..well if any of that makes sense my question is ....How do i go about reteaching myself how to have self confiedence once again, ive confronted her many times, and how to have ambition to reach my goals
Answers: ok well my mom is the type of person to always put me down,, like eveytime i try and say i want to accomplish something she is constantly reminding me you remember last time or you cant do that and says all i ever do is dream and stick to stuff you can do, i dont know how to really explain it, and since i started new meds that she insisted me to be on i gained some weight from them and shes yelling at me and saying how fat and ugly and tells me how i should always go work out and blah blah i mean im not fat just chubby lol.. but i mean she makes me crazy and i can see how shes affected the way i present myself now and how much more self concious i am , im embrassed to do anything thinking i'll fail.. and i can just see her sitting there laughing at me telling me she knew i couldnt do it..well if any of that makes sense my question is ....How do i go about reteaching myself how to have self confiedence once again, ive confronted her many times, and how to have ambition to reach my goals
Geez sweetie, that sounds so much like my mom!!
That's so hard for you, i can't really relate to what you are saying ? .......... you just need a bit of guidance and encouragement sweetie.
So long as we see ourselves as stuck and hopeless, we will be. If we see ourselves as wonderful, healthy, love ~ worthy beings, we'll be able to see past all the negativity and draining emotions that other people project onto us.
Affirmations are prepared positive thoughts that you repeat to yourself, out loud over and over again. If you say something often enough, eventually your mind begins to believe it. By repeating a positive affirmation, you reprogram your thought patterns in a positive direction. When you convince your mind that you are a person who is positive and can achieve anything that they set their minds to it begins to become true. Millions of people have proven the benefits of positive affirmations over and again.
Greet yourself each and every single morning with a brilliant smile and say something like "Hi beautifull, you are going to build up your self esteem and confidence cos you are capable of doing ***insert your wildest dreams** anything you set your mind to really, cos you are strong, powerfull, independant and deserving of a happy, healthy and strong body"..... Say it again during quiet periods of the day and before falling to sleep at night......... look yourself in the mirror when you do it so as you have visual affirmation and look yourself in the eye when you say it and say it with strength and determination?
Don't run from this hun for otherwise it will eventually totally erode your self esteem and pride and confidence. you can do this girlfriend you just need to start and have faith in you that you can do it. learn how to love yourself and start doing things for you that you really enjoy ~ could be anything from needlework, to running in the park, dancing in the streets, singing at the top of your lungs when you are in a crowded shopping centre and your fave rock / pop song comes on (i'm always spinning people out and doing that one !!), jumping in puddles when you see them, just cos all these things can bring you an enormous sense of exhilaration and fun fun fun !!! Hey, my fave pastime is to put really loud rock music on and leap around my loungeroom pretending i'm up on stage with all the boys in the band rocking on ........ works for me ..... :0)
Tell yourself over and over that you are strong and able to do this; tell yourself that you release the need to feel inferior and incapable of reaching the highest heights?
You know what?? if you can form a picture of the way you want to be, feel, behave and look in your minds eye then you have won 90% of the battle .............. conjure up images in your mind of you already there having achieved some of your goals and dreams, visualise for example you being a super hot fantastic surfer or dancer .... whatever it is that you really want to do ..... visualise the negative feelings and emotions simply vanishing into thin air ..... see it, feel it, taste it and believe me it will be yours.
i kicked a vile disgusting alcohol and antidepressant addiction nearly 6 years ago now and these are all the methods that i used to bolster my confidence and inner strength sweetie, best ball and chain i ever got rid of?
One more thing........... the neurotransmitter Serotonin contributes to feelings of calmness, better sleep patterns, increased pain resistance, and few cravings for carbohydrates . It, too, is a natural antidepressant, Low serotonin levels can cause agression, depression, food cravings, insomnia, a low pain threshold and poor temperature regulation by the body. Serotonin levels are particularly affected by both sugar and tobacco.
Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that's used by the brain - along with B6, niacin (or niacinamide), and magesium (known as the antistress mineral) - to produce serotonin (the natural feel good drug), a neurotransmitter that carries messages between the brain and one of the body's biochemical mechanisms of sleep.
The EFA's in foods rich in omega 3's such as cold water fishes like tuna, salmon, sardines and whiting are also essential in this process to nourish the neurons that are receiving the messages from the neurotransmitters
The Doctor doesn't tell you that when you go complaining of depression and stress now does he .............. he surely should though.
Tryptophan will help induce natural sleep; reduce pain sensitivity; act as a nondrug antidepressant; alleviate migraines; aid in reducing anxiety and tension and help relieve some symptoms of alcohol-related body-chemistry disorders and aid in control of alcoholism.
Best natural food sources of Tryptophan are; cottage cheese, milk, meat, fish, turkey, bananas, dried dates, peanuts and all protein rich foods.
Best natural food sources for magnesium are: leafy and green vegies, nuts and seeds, cold water fishes such as tuna, sardines, whiting and salmon.
Best natural food sources for niacin are: the white meat of chicken, whole wheat products, roasted peanuts, fish, eggs, avoacadoes, dates, figs and prunes.
Best natural food sources for vitamin B6 are: wheat germ, fish, soybeans, brewer's yeast, cantaloupe, cabbage, blackstgrap molasses, unmilled rice, eggs, oats, peanuts and walnuts.
Take a good quality multi B complex supplement including all the B's ie: B1, B2, B3, B5, B6 and B12 you will support your body in dealing with the everyday stresses life throws at us. ie: new job, new home, school studies, addictive behaviour ...... the B complex of vitamins is essential for healthy digestive, neural and immune systsem functioning.
The whole food source of tryptophan and all other vitamins, minerals amino acids etc.... will always be the most nutritious and easily assimilable form.
Drink loads of fresh filtered water on a daily basis to as the healthiest and happiest body will always be the most hydrated one?
Take care of you?i'm here with all my heart hun wishing you all the very best cos i just know that you have the tenacity and strength to reclaim your life and do this?.... :0)
CHEERS
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Your mom is emotioanal abusive - seek professinal help to assist you in your goals.
hey there coox, well i can understand how you feel, i have a similar thing with my dad....i dont know how old you are...i am 49 and have the same issues.what you have to do is make a constant effort to ignore her insults etc. you have to keep telling yourself you are not a loser, you are special, you are an individual. you will fail sometimes but so what, you are a human being...failure is not a loss it is a learning experience....do not let her stop you doing things you would like to do for fear of failure...make sure it is safe and then do it.....it is a constant effort but eventually, you will start believing in yourself...what your mother thinks is her problem....its what you think of yourself and what God thinks of you...and to Him you are a valuable and precious gift to this world....God doesnt make rubbish remember!!!! good luck sweetie