Would u ever date someone that has scars from self harming? what would u really !
Question: I think that you need to love yourself before you can look for someone to love you, that will help at least in at least the smallest amount to help you stop cutting. But that's not what your looking for. I don't think that anyone would care that you have scars on your body from cutting. They just need to know that it was a hard time in your life. I've dated people who have scars from cutting themselves and it just shows the amount of strength they have to quit giving into the quick fix of ending the emotional pain. Does that make sense? I hope that it does. On that note, I used to cut and my fiance stayed with me.
Answers: I think that you need to love yourself before you can look for someone to love you, that will help at least in at least the smallest amount to help you stop cutting. But that's not what your looking for. I don't think that anyone would care that you have scars on your body from cutting. They just need to know that it was a hard time in your life. I've dated people who have scars from cutting themselves and it just shows the amount of strength they have to quit giving into the quick fix of ending the emotional pain. Does that make sense? I hope that it does. On that note, I used to cut and my fiance stayed with me.
Yes...be supportive as everyone has issues of some kind. Make sure you ask questions and keep the lines of communication open.
I would date someone that had scars. Everyone has issues and a past. I am not above them because I am not a cutter.
Find out if they still cut, scars never go away and this may be their past. I know you're probably thinking they will cut you but usually their violence is towards themselves. Ask, many people love to share when they can trust someone to care. And remember, scars never go away so even when they're changed.. they have to compensate for those marks the world will always see.
I am so moved by your question because my son started doing this. My husband did this. I did not know before I married him. I walked in one day to find him slicing himself with a razor.
Are you talking scars that are obvious when people first meet, or is this something that can be shared at a more appropriate time in a relation ship - once you know you can trust that person.
If i knew then what I knew now, I wouldn't have dated or married him. But he never wanted to get help.
Obviously my son has some big problems. He needs to work those out before he hooks up with someone or he won't give his best or get his best.
But I love my son and think he is a magnificent person, with many wonderful and admirable traits. Just as you must be and have, even if you can't feel it.
Hugs and love and best wishes.
I would date someone who has scars from self harming.
First I would want to know how stable the person is at the current time. I would get to know the person first. After talking to them for a few times that we got together, I would have a better idea on making the final decision.
To answer your second question:
I do have a burn scar on my arm. It does make me self conscious. It has been eleven years healing that scar.
The scar is lighter now. I would make up a reason if I had to explain where it came from unless I knew the person very well.
I think we have to watch out in the beginning about how much we share with someone. If you build up trust over time, this part of you could come out of hiding. Best Wishes.
Self harming is a very scary thing to have a loved one go through. I think the big decision before you date is if you can take it if they relaspe and start to self harm or if they are self harming now. Spelf harm is like any addicitoin it is often hard to treat becase the person become addicted to the relief it gives or the sense of being alive. They can also hide it very well when they do not want to be caught. So realize this and if you have issues with people not being upfront or not "trusting you" this may not be the route to take. IF you are willing to be patient, loving, and a constent in this persons life then go for it. But be sure of your feelings and limitations before getting into it ...you dont want to cause more damage than good. Best of Luck
yes.. i was a self harming person who now thinks it was a phase in life doesnt mean were going to be like that are whole lives i did it as a teenager i think it the attention we seek as teenagers is why i did it and everyone is diffrent listen to him/her they might have a good story behind it i know i do.plus dont you think if you really love the person the outside shouldnt matter as much as what they have on the inside!
uhh yeah?!
obviously the person needs love and caring
Totally. I wouldn't be even slightly put off. Everyone's done things in their past and there's no reason to let that effect the present. The truth is we all have problems and just because some are more obvious doesn't mean they should have more stigma attatched. If someone likes another then what they look like or what they do shouldn't be an issue. And even if the person is a bit put off, if they like you, they'll see past it.
Good luck. X
I would date someone who self-harm because I could possibly know what they are going though. I self-harm myself.
It really depends on the situation. I was once with a girl who had cut herself. One day she just decided to not see me anymore and it wasn't because of anything I did. She broke my heart.
I don't want to say don't date him, but you have to keep in mind this person may still have issues. Issues you may not be ready to deal with.
My best advice is to get to know him, but don't get serious to quickly.
That depends can you see the scars when they're naked? if you can then you should not shave for a week
I've dated all type of people. Everyone carries scars, the real indicator in people isn't what scars they carry, it's how they've healed. Now if they are fresh wounds, then that person probably doesn't have room in their lives for a romantic relationship. If they don't love themselves or are recovering, they can't love you the way you deserve to be loved. A relationship may serve as a distraction from their healing process.
Though, there is nothing wrong with being as much of a friend as you can, without compromising your safe distance. Everyone needs friends, especially someone who is so hurt by their perspective of life they are willing to take it out on their body. Remember, the safe distance part of what I said. You don't want to lead anyone on.
It wouldn't matter to me. I'm imagining the person I love having scars from self-harm, and I can't see myself making judgment. I'd feel bad for the pain that person went through, and I wouldn't refuse to date someone based on that.
I was in a bad bike crash years ago that scared half of my body. I love who I am on the inside which diminishes the scares on the outside. My friends take me for who I am. As far as dating, no problem, I'm who I am.
I hope someone will...I'm a cutter, I no longer do it, last time was like 1 year n a half ago...But I'm left with a bunch of scars, mostly in my arms-wrists...I have a 3 month old baby girl who gives me the strength to not to do it again...Good luck sweetie...Best wishes for you
Scars themselves don't bother me that much. Why they're there is what will make me more apprehensive about the person I'm dealing with. I know some that have and they are what they call 'borderliners'. They carry a heavy load, I wouldn't want to trade places with them. Asking me if I'd get involved with a cutter? Personally, I wouldn't. Sorry to say, but it's not the easiest relationship, and I admire those who can, I just couldn't. There's just not enough love in me I'm afraid. Hate me for it, but I'm just not willing to live with very Highs and very Lows. It's the hilly landscape I like, not the Everest.