Why do I feel the need to get rid of everything good I have?!


Question: I love my boyfriend and he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I've been getting depressed over all of this junk lately and he has been there helping me every step of the way, but for some reason I just keep having the thought of breaking up with him in the back of my head. I really don't know what I'd do without him, so I don't know what is making me think this. What's going on?


Answers: I love my boyfriend and he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I've been getting depressed over all of this junk lately and he has been there helping me every step of the way, but for some reason I just keep having the thought of breaking up with him in the back of my head. I really don't know what I'd do without him, so I don't know what is making me think this. What's going on?

sometimes we push things and people away to avoid being hurt. like you can't hurt me if i hurt you first kind of thing. it sounds to me like you're afraid that by having to rely on him, he's going to get tired of trying to help all of the time and leave... so rather than have him do that, which would be very emotionally painful - get rid of him first - that way you're in control of the situation.

i think the best thing would be to talk to him about it. tell him that first of all you appreciate his help and patience. but also tell him (and not in a smothering or manipulative way) that you're worried about your problems driving him away. also, give him the permission to tell you if it's getting to be too much for him... not that he'll leave, but maybe at that point, it's time to see a professional who can help you both. that way he doesn't feel like he has to take on everything by himself.

maybe you have a fear of happiness or success.....maybe you should go to a therapist or talk with your doctor about this

It's because he's been helping you too much that he's become a part of your decision making process - you feel you need to get rid of him because you're a standalone type person at times. Take a few days off from seeing him to feel better on your own without him there helping you.

Why don't you ask him to not help you so much or set areas where you want to do it yourself?

He may be trying to help you but actually intruding on areas where you could handle things yourself.

Then you might find that the resentment that you're feeling towards him lessens.

Intuition should not be taken lightly, it is a built in life radar
There are always time outs in the game of life. Be a good referee and take a needed rest.





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