Really sad, lonely, tired?!
Question: recently i have been having some trouble motivating myself to do the things i would do normally. i still enjoy hanging out with my friends, but i cry much easier, get really worked up and nervous about little things, and dread having to go to school. this may sound weird but its not like i don't have any friends... i have a lot of friends and a few best friends, but lately i've just been really down, sad, and tired.
any advice? please?
Answers: recently i have been having some trouble motivating myself to do the things i would do normally. i still enjoy hanging out with my friends, but i cry much easier, get really worked up and nervous about little things, and dread having to go to school. this may sound weird but its not like i don't have any friends... i have a lot of friends and a few best friends, but lately i've just been really down, sad, and tired.
any advice? please?
I wouldnt be surprized at all if you were diagnoised with depression. With everything thats going on its no wonder. Dont think that life will always be this way though, cause it definetally gets better, please talk to a counselor though, they really help. Just be sure you find the one thats right for you because not every counselor will fill your needs....You see I was sexually abused for like two years and it took me sooo long to find someone I felt safe and comfortable telling and now Im getting help and Im getting better. You can do the same. I wish you good luck sweetie, remember life gets better, stay strong!
are you thinking about suicide if you are please go to a doctor
take up a hobby such as knitting, running, or a musical instrument. if you take up music, write songs to express yourself. write stories, poetry.
oh yea, sleep more and focus on your grades. make a base for yourself. even though you're down now, build a foundation for a happier future.
Trust me.....coming from someone that lost a parent at a young age (but old enough to know what I lost) getting over the death of a parent is a lifelong thing and overwhelming sad feelings are very frequent because of it.
I would recommend talking to a trusted adult outside of your family. Maybe someone that can relate to your problem. 1 year is very early after her death and you may still be grieving her loss. Not unusual at all.
See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a specific time period for worrying about anything, (say; a half an hour, or an hour, possibly when you get home in the evening, but not too close to bedtime) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even entertain the thought of worrying again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. You will have had your "worry time" for the day, and can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?". Use the technique for reprogramming negative thoughts and internal monologue (self talk), on pages 2, and 2L, to help you in this, if you find yourself backsliding into your former bad habits. Some people carry a wide rubber band in their pocket: put it on their wrist; stretch, and release, as a means of reinforcing it, and speeding up the process, re-pocketing it afterwards, but I regard this as being purely optional.
Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Alternatively, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." Neurofeedback treatment for anxiety is increasingly becoming available. Herbal remedies, such as St.John's wort, arctic root, or Valerian are often effective, but the idea is to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect. ~~~~~
There is a quiz about depression, through sections 1, and 2, at ezy build, below: print the result, and take along to your primary mental health care provider. With depression, there is a choice of possible treatment types which needs to be made, and you can decide to use either allopathy, (modern Western medicine) with its reliance on antidepressants and therapy, or alternative treatments, which I advise trying first. This is because antidepressants are known to increase the rates of suicide, homicide, and aberrent behavio(u)r, particularly with young people, and often have unwanted side effects, such as sexual dysfunction, and/or weight gain.
Tests have shown that apart from clinical (major) depression, their results were not significantly superior to those taking a placebo (inert, or "sugar pill"). Antidepressants retain a degree of long term effectiveness for only around 30% of people. There is a saying in the mental health field: "If the only tool you have in your kit is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as a nail". So it goes with doctors, and their prescription pads: handy, quick, and convenient, when trying to manage their large list of patients, and often allocating only 10 minutes to each.
Most of them are only trained to provide antidepressants and referrals for therapy, with those whose depression is resistant to those treatments being advised to have ElectroConvulsive Therapy, (ECT) with its risk of permanent, partial memory loss. Therapy, while often effective at first, becomes "same old, same old" after a while, for many people.
I now advise people to: (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, (certified free of mercury) with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their freshly squeezed juice. If vitamin E is used, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it's synthetic, avoid it. (2.) Work up slowly to 30 - 60 minutes of exercise, daily. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain). (4.) Use daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 2.c, 2.i, or 11, and/or yoga, Tai Chi, and/or the EFT, in sections 2.q, 2.o, and section 53, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris whichever works best for you. (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. (6.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, or a supplement, such as SAMe, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).
If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking around 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L). It should be above 32 ng/ml.
Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe, anytime. Omega 3 fish oil supplements: EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid (omega 3) ----360 mg.DHA (docosahexaenoic acid (omega 3)-----240 mg
Take enough supplements to attain, or exceed the levels (no possibility of overdose) of those every day, with an orange, or the juice of a freshly squeezed orange, grapefruit, or other antioxidant.
(make sure the epa is higher then the dha) important for adults... kids need the opposite levels: more dha than epa, but all are beneficial, if you can't achieve the recommended proportions.
They should be certified as being free of mercury, and if containing vitamin E, it should be shown as from a natural source; otherwise it is synthetic: avoid it! Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, (60% of depressed people have low vitamin D levels!) using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult to achieve. ~~~~~ GRIEF: Let me join with the others, here, in offering condolences for your loss. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 and http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
K