Is This Health Threatening?!
Question: A little over a year ago I learned about the best pair skaters in history, Ekaterina Gordeeva & Sergei Grinkov.
I had been watching Katia since I was a little girl (around 6 I'd say, I'm nearly 14 now). I fell in love with G&G's love story immediately. Most people who know of them, know that Sergei died at the age of 28 from a heartattack.
I opened up a youtube account and started creating montages in their memory. I'm now a well known user with nearly 100 subscribers.
I even skate for them.
I cannot explain the bond I have. Not personal.. but so deep. In every part of my life, they're there. I'm addicted.
Sometimes I feel like I make rude jokes and comments about the two to make me feel better and to cover up the hurt.
Sometimes I cry at night and with my friends so hard, I can barely breathe.
I think about Sergei's death often.
I was wondering.. if I don't tell someone about this soon like a counselor, will this become health threatening? Am I risking PTSD?
Answers: A little over a year ago I learned about the best pair skaters in history, Ekaterina Gordeeva & Sergei Grinkov.
I had been watching Katia since I was a little girl (around 6 I'd say, I'm nearly 14 now). I fell in love with G&G's love story immediately. Most people who know of them, know that Sergei died at the age of 28 from a heartattack.
I opened up a youtube account and started creating montages in their memory. I'm now a well known user with nearly 100 subscribers.
I even skate for them.
I cannot explain the bond I have. Not personal.. but so deep. In every part of my life, they're there. I'm addicted.
Sometimes I feel like I make rude jokes and comments about the two to make me feel better and to cover up the hurt.
Sometimes I cry at night and with my friends so hard, I can barely breathe.
I think about Sergei's death often.
I was wondering.. if I don't tell someone about this soon like a counselor, will this become health threatening? Am I risking PTSD?
you have a very warm heart ......... you have much passion within you ....... and only 14?????
14 year old girls are known for such passion, I think .....
Look ...... sweet girl ...... it is time to start to re-evaluate what you are doing. The past ...... is gone now. Nothing can change that.
Get ready to move on in your life .........
One possible solution would be to write a book about all the things you know about this subject as a way for you to bring closure to it in your life .... but you MUST put a time line on it. That is ... if you do write a book, it MUST be finished on a certain date this year .... and then ... you must put all of this behind you, OK? No looking back. Period.
there is more to life.
you have a great future ... make it a great one! (^-^)
you are an awesome girl
sounds like obsessive thinking
It can't be PTSD, you haven't been tarumatized have you? PTSD stands for post traumatized stress disorder
obviously you do.
you think you do (mind over matter) your having disruptive pattern in your life making the memory of this even maladaptive.
the fact you think you are whats the difference then it kind of being true. psychology isnt like other objective things it is more up2 you to think of what you have. selffulfilling prophecy.
i mean either get over it on purpose the way you would get over your exbf or seek help conseling many things
hypnosis
you should talk to a doc
Anything can cause PTSD. If it is important to you and something awful happens; it can be stressful and traumatic; hence the name.
It can absolutely become health threatening, but I would rely on a trained person to make that decision. You need to speak with a therapist or counselor, I would imagine short term, but that is up to your counselor. It sounds like you care a lot about people. There is nothing wrong with that - in fact, I applaud you. But you need to take care of yourself first.
not trying to be crude, Seek help to cope and move on with YOUR life.
Sometimes I have obsessive thoughts...that could be it, but most definitely (can you guess what I'm going to say?) it's probably post-traumatic stress disorder. Which is your youtube account? Those montages, you could watch them, and think about the life they did have to enjoy. I don't know if you are religious or not, but think about Sergei being in heaven, looking down proudly at one of his most adoring fans.
This kind of happened to me with Heath Ledger's death. I completely understand. : )
PTSD is something that some people get when they have been traumatized by an event that they've experienced or witnessed. It does not sound like what you have. You do sound obsessed though. I would see a psychiatrist and ask for an evaluation.
This is called an "obsession". your mind is focused on this, it's all you think about, and you can't let go.
post traumatic stress disorder is something different, although similar- a person has it after suffering a terrible experience that has happened to them personally- they keep on re-living it, night and/or day, but they don't experiece it all the time, and there is never any reward to it. All they want is to forget and their mind won't let them.
While an obsession probably won't affect your health (unless its with doing an extreme sport. etc) it does affect your life, as this is doing to you now.
You are 14. What your mind should be on is your own life. This is a very important age in life because you are undergoing changes in your body, your relationship with parents as you start to become more independent of them, your friends, boys, values...this is the time you are supposed to build your own identity, learn who you are, what is important to you... it should be all about you.
But you are skipping this, and trust me on this, we don't get away with skipping one single thing. If you miss out on the work of being 14, you will limp along with a hole in your personality until you have to repair it before you can lead the life you want. Repairing is a lot more expensive in money and grief than building in the first place.
This obsession is filling up your life and giving you identity and popularity, making you feel important. That will make it tough to give up. Also when you give it up there will be a huge emptiness in your head, your friends, time on your hands...at first it will be very uncomfortable to feel the emptiness and to find ways to fill it up with the businss of being 14. But, really, it's what you have to do. You might need help from a counselor to succeed.
Look at it this way, every person is given their own life to lead from birth to death, isn't that so?
What you are doing is substituting their lives for your own. And it's all a fantasy because you are not them, you never will be, you are YOU, who is getting lost...
I really believe you must evict these people from your life, cold turkey, but first start planning how you will use the time it will free up.