Caregiver question........?!
Question: If you are a caregiver to a loved one, how do you handle the isolation you feel, the loneliness, the work involved, and even perhaps, the ingratitude you receive?
Answers: If you are a caregiver to a loved one, how do you handle the isolation you feel, the loneliness, the work involved, and even perhaps, the ingratitude you receive?
Being a care giver does not equate to being a door mat unless one allows it to be so. Many who are "cared" for are permitted by the caregiver to become completely dependent upon that caregiver who then is compliant in becoming an enabler. Learn the limitations of the one being cared for and make that person responsible for everything else. Then, while continuing to make yourself available for true needs, fill your time with something you truly enjoy doing.
I looked after my mum for just over a year, and I had never felt so lonely before, I got very depressed because the only time I had to myself was two hours on a Saturday and I had nobody to talk to.
The ingratitude is also a hard thing to deal with, I often sat up during the night with my mum and then be running around doing stuff for her during the day, and I often looked at my dad and brother and thought would be so hard for you to help me or tell me I'm doing good.
It's also put a lot of strain on mine and my mums relationship. But I have to say after she died I had no idea what to do with my day because I was so use to working things around her needs.
In the end I was feeling so stressed I got outside help from professional care givers, they only came in the morning and afternoons for a couple of hours but it really helped me out and it gave me someone to talk to.
well, you have to talk to that person, explain that you have needs too! And if that person doesn't understand you or still feeling ungrateful then that person does not deserve that you take care of him/her!
That IS a hard one, but there ARE support groups for caregivers. You just need to do research to find them. Then you have someone to talk with , someone who really understands!
I was a caregiver for about five years. Seeing a love one deteriorate is something I never taught about. I was always told what a good job I was doing and believed it. The nursing home was close by so visits weren't to bad. I did laundry because I felt I could do better than the home and I could keep track of her clothes because people stole them. I kept thinking of her what she was going through trying to make her feel normal. We would go shopping even though she was in a wheelchair. I can't figure out how I did it. My family would make visits decorate her room get her snacks she liked. It was amazing. I just did it and never really taught about gratitude. I wanted her to feel part of a family and not give up. She had a stroke couldn't talk hard to move. I didn't want to give up. No time to think about anything else at times I would cry because I didn't want to let go.