I'm thinking about suicide more & more often...?!
Question: and it really scares me; I didn't use to be like this. I'm 14 & I have some serious anger issues and self confidence issues. My life is full of stress and pressure from my family & it is starting to literally make me sick. I look at everything negatively including myself. I only see what could be better instead of the positive things.
When I see myself, the image in my head distorts into something I don't want to be. People always say I'm pretty & cute, but I don't believe them.
I've even gone so far as to think about how I would kill myself, I figure that I'll end up committing suicide before I'm 18. I just want all the anger, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts to stop but I don't know how. I hate the person that I am now and I want to change, but I have no clue what to do. Please help?
Answers: and it really scares me; I didn't use to be like this. I'm 14 & I have some serious anger issues and self confidence issues. My life is full of stress and pressure from my family & it is starting to literally make me sick. I look at everything negatively including myself. I only see what could be better instead of the positive things.
When I see myself, the image in my head distorts into something I don't want to be. People always say I'm pretty & cute, but I don't believe them.
I've even gone so far as to think about how I would kill myself, I figure that I'll end up committing suicide before I'm 18. I just want all the anger, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts to stop but I don't know how. I hate the person that I am now and I want to change, but I have no clue what to do. Please help?
Oh, sweetie...Do you have any trusted adult at school you can talk to? School counselor, or teacher? I'm assuming that you may not feel comfortable talking to your family, but with them being closest to you if you could tell them how you feel I think it is very important.
The fact that your suicidal thoughts scare you is a very clear sign that you are willing to accept help--and is a HUGE step in the right direction. You do NOT have to continue feeling this way. With some caring professional therapy, and possibly some medication, (if you are suffering from a chemical imbalance) very likely would remind you of what life was like before you started feeling this way.
You are obviously amazingly intelligent, and very, very self-aware. You have exactly what it takes to make professional therapy a success for you. It will obviously take work--hard work. But you say you want to change, and that is your ticket to beginning to see the beauty of life again.
Please, please...know that the view of life you have now is colored by an illness that CAN be treated. Talk to your parents and tell them you need help. NOW. Or to a counselor or your school Psychologist. Whoever can get you in to see a Psychiatrist who can evaluate, and treat you. Take back your life. You DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY!!
My thoughts, as well as every person who knows you, or reads your question will be with you. Life is an amazing gift.
Stay strong, sweetie.
Here is a link to a 24 hour crisis hotline:
http://www.hopeline.com/
EDIT: I'm so sorry your parents aren't taking you seriously. AND that the counselors aren't helping you. If they are the "School Counselor" it is a little misleading because they are more trained in class schedules and helping you get to college than in Psychotherapy. Have you talked to the "School Psychologist?" They usually are not on campus all the time, because they work district wide. Their training would be more in line with what you need.
The bottom line is that you need to see a Psychiatrist, and I would be banging on doors until you get to see one. If you have a teacher you trust, don't beat around the bush. Tell them you are having suicidal thoughts, and no other adult is taking you seriously, and you need help, NOW.
Honey, you need treatment. Start with therapy. A therapist can help you understand what you are experiencing and what things you can do to help yourself.
Your therapist may recommend that you see a psychiatrist to get medication. Research has shown that depression, even if it starts because of stressful events in your life, changes your brain chemistry. You may need help getting your natural hormones stabilized.
Please get help now. I work for a mobile crisis service. Every day i meet with kids who are in various stages of crisis, and often are contemplating suicide. Planning what you would do to kill yourself is a warning sign that you need immediate help.
I hope there is a trusted adult somewhere you can trust. Whether it be your grandparents, mom, dad, counselor, teacher. You have to tell someone about these feelings and you have to get help. It is NOT your fault that you feel this way. When I was 14, I experienced the same thing. Please Please Please get help today.
try a therapist... if you're not comfortable asking ur parents for help go to ur school counselor, they have hotlines that are available for teens to call and are confidential..
killing yourself will get you into hell and imagine all the stuff you got to go through in hell life can be tough but you gotta be tougher and i promise you things will get better
aww honey! you need to go see a doctor and they'll help you get better you could have bipolar disorder and there's meds to help you get over that! just keep thinking positive! and talk to your parent's about it! tell them what you told us!
I can completely relate to what you're saying. When I was 13, I went through some really crazy emotional times which I found out later were mainly because of my hormones. I couldn't deal with a lot of the stuff in my life (problems with my grades, really mean girls at the school I attended, boyfriend issues, nosy parents) and I felt like I was losing it. I thought about suicide a lot because I thought the rest of my life was going to be just as horrible as it was then. Once I got into high school, I changed school systems and things started to get better, but I still had problems coping with stress and emotion. After I started birth control, the symptoms dropped dramatically. Try to remember that whatever the situation is right now, it won't be forever. I know it's hard to think outside of that when you hate life right now, but just keep in mind that your situation isn't permanent.
Secondly, you really need to talk to a trusted adult about the situation. If you're seriously contemplating suicide and are thinking about it more and more, you need to see a doctor. It could be a chemical imbalance in your brain, or you might have serious hormone problems like I did. Choose emotional health over misery...talk to someone! It's the first step in recovering your emotional stability. Good luck! Hope that helps!
i dont think you're crazy before going to a therapist, maybe you should try talking to someone close to you.. honestly i used to feel this way and i convinced myself that i wouldn't live past 18, i just couldn't see my life going to 19 or 20 etc etc i wanted to die since i was about 12.. it was an on and off thing and sometimes it got really bad.. but i grew out of it. its a scary time, but in the end i developed a fck it attitude, and i am 18 in college and happy and silly and i kno im cute lol regardless of wat anyone says :-D.. and maybe u have to find an escape.. for me it was poetry
I don't think you really want to die, and that is a very good thing! You should try talking to a school counselor or someone at your church just some adult in authority, even the school nurse. But tell someone that you are hurting inside! They can't read your mind, and no one will judge you for your anger. You don't even know why you are mad, do you? I had alot aof bad stuff happening to me when I was your age, and someone to talk to made all the difference! Someone POSITIVE, someone older and wiser than me. Promise you will go tell someone about this RIGHT AWAY!! It can't wait!
first, don't be scared, if you continue to think these thoughts, they will come reality, the battle you are having is spiritual and not natural, but, i have been where u are try to get this book if you can it is the bondage breaker by neil t. Anderson, it was really helpful to me i ordered it off of amazon, in the mean time seek help, i would recommend that u go to church a bible teaching church.
Honey, you're ill. Your brain chemistry is lopsided, and it needs to be balanced. I'm glad you've recognized the problem, recognized how serious suicidal thoughts are (911), and are reaching out for help.
Can you tell your parents and go see a psychiatrist? If not, talk to the school counselor. She can hook you up with someone who'll be able to help you feel better.
At one point in my life, I was SO sad, lonely, depressed, etc. and pregnant. The dr. refused to give me meds because of the baby. Fortunately, I wouldn't kill myself because of the baby. I couldn't kill her. I couldn't kill her mother, either. And I couldn't kill my husband's wife. Looking at what my suicide would do to my circle of friends and family was devastating to their lives. Permanently.
As soon as baby had nursed a little (12 wks), I stopped nursing and started taking an antidepressant. That was the first step to restoring my happy life.
See a psych, don't do anything sudden, and if you think you are going to...it's an emergency! Call 911 and tell them what you're planning to do. They'll get you the help you need.
Anytime
Debbie
See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at ezy-build, below, and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I ..(insert activity here).." Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you . Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself". ~~~
1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.
2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.
3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.
5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)
6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.
7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation. [ AND MINE: USE THEIR NAME FOR A WHILE, OFTEN, AT FIRST, SO IT HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM SHORT TERM, TO LONG TERM MEMORY. FOR EXAMPLE: "What sort of things are you interested in, Mordecai? I like archery, and train spotting, but am no longer combining the two." next: "I'm from Upper Volta, Mordecai, Where are you from, originally?" READ SECTION 41, AT EZY BUILD, FOR MORE MEMORY TIPS.]
8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice