What is wrong here? Mental disorder?!
Question: I have a friend that has some child hood issues (like most of us) he can be so sensitive and tear up ... it breaks my heart. Tonight I talked with him and told him he needs to find a way (maybe God) to try and put these issues behind him and heal and move forward. I was trying my hardest to encourage him and be positive. Then he proceeded to tell me he has affairs on his wife because its over the top exciting ... and he just likes the extreme ups and downs.........a part of me is disgusted, irritated and I just want to say well quite whining about it if you don't want to try and fix it!! That is cold I know but being around someone like that is exhausting!!! I can't wrap my brain around why someone wants to wallow in their issues. I have my own from childhood (in my opinion much worse than his) and a long time ago I decided it wasn't going to ruin my life, I delt with it and put it in God's hands. ....Please someone tell me if he might have a disorder. Do you know anyone like this?
Answers: I have a friend that has some child hood issues (like most of us) he can be so sensitive and tear up ... it breaks my heart. Tonight I talked with him and told him he needs to find a way (maybe God) to try and put these issues behind him and heal and move forward. I was trying my hardest to encourage him and be positive. Then he proceeded to tell me he has affairs on his wife because its over the top exciting ... and he just likes the extreme ups and downs.........a part of me is disgusted, irritated and I just want to say well quite whining about it if you don't want to try and fix it!! That is cold I know but being around someone like that is exhausting!!! I can't wrap my brain around why someone wants to wallow in their issues. I have my own from childhood (in my opinion much worse than his) and a long time ago I decided it wasn't going to ruin my life, I delt with it and put it in God's hands. ....Please someone tell me if he might have a disorder. Do you know anyone like this?
I obviously don't know what his issues are, and many things could lead to affairs. I do know, though, that certain disorders are associated with such feelings. The manic phase of bipolar disorder is one. And I was married to someone with borderline personality disorder, which can often manifest itself this way. As can related personality disorders (narcissistic, antisocial). But I'm sure there are MANY other causes of impulsive behavior. As you say, though, he can wallow or he can seek out help. I'd hope he'd talk to a clinical psychologist, but if he's religious, that can't hurt either.
Yeah I think he does. And by the way I'm proud of the way you delt with your situations and left it in gods hands cuz really he's the only one who can actually help.
Unfortunately, this guy has issues alright, but they sound like self serving ones. You are so right about the childhood issues. Good for you for handling yours in such a positive manner. We can all choose to remain in the sick cycle or say it stops with me! Make your adult life a better one then your child hood was. He chooses to use it as a way to pull pity out of people. Then he has the nerve to hurt another person by cheating on her after crying about how he was hurt! Shame on him! What a loser! You need to ask him that because he knows first hand how if feels to be hurt by people who are supposed to love you and you are supposed to be able to trust, then why would he inflict the pain on his wife he is? If he is unhappy get a divorce, don't tear her heart out. Tell this loser you do not want to hear about it anymore. You sound like much to good a person then to surround yourself with such a dirt bag. Kick him to the curb! Who needs that kind of a so called friend! Good luck!
i would call him 'self-treating' we are the same in how you rationalize. let go and let god?
Maybe, The disorder called bi-polar is where someone can become involved in risky behavior the feel bad later. very up and down.
way too much information, you need to condense your "rant" into smaller cookies for us to examine your question. the best i can do is recommend that you all sit down, relax and clear your minds, think like a monk. monks are very relaxed and happy mainly because they do not talk, only the basic utterances are necessary. -blurey