Can someone please help me.............?!
Question: I went and saw my therapist yesterday. I could not really tell her what was going on, I was to scared. I was numbing out. We check in every night. But if i self harm in anyway then we don't check in. Will I self harmed and I did not tell her she guessed. I saw the disapioment on her face. I feel so bad. I did not want to do that to her. In someways I want to back off and not see her. She does she much for me, i keep working against her. I just don't want to be here anymore I keep hurtting people. I tryed to call the crisis line last night and they got mad bc I did not give them my last name, so they hung up with me. (she was not very nice) I have wrote my therapsit and let her know what was going on. I just feel like she does not need this from me. Stop saying i'm want to die and just do it. I guess I really don't know what i'm asking i'm just really stuck, i don't know where to trun. If you leave a comment please be nice. Thank you all for reading. You all have a great day!
Answers: I went and saw my therapist yesterday. I could not really tell her what was going on, I was to scared. I was numbing out. We check in every night. But if i self harm in anyway then we don't check in. Will I self harmed and I did not tell her she guessed. I saw the disapioment on her face. I feel so bad. I did not want to do that to her. In someways I want to back off and not see her. She does she much for me, i keep working against her. I just don't want to be here anymore I keep hurtting people. I tryed to call the crisis line last night and they got mad bc I did not give them my last name, so they hung up with me. (she was not very nice) I have wrote my therapsit and let her know what was going on. I just feel like she does not need this from me. Stop saying i'm want to die and just do it. I guess I really don't know what i'm asking i'm just really stuck, i don't know where to trun. If you leave a comment please be nice. Thank you all for reading. You all have a great day!
It's not you who is actually hurting you and others. Rather, the pain in you is.
But you can heal. I will show you:
You seem like a really nice person. Please don't die. :)
Keep in mind that your therapist's job is to help you in any way she can. You're not being a bother at all.
Try to figure out why you're self-harming, or what triggers your want to do so. Finding this out will help you, and telling your therapist what you think it might be will help her help you.
Best.
~Arc
your therapist went to school for people like you.
people like you are her job.....
let her help you.......
if you have to make up a last name than do it.
i am sorry you are having problems..
and if you don't mind a suggestion of my own...try God . he will listen and Jesus makes a big difference in you life..
good luck and God bless ...and please don't hurt/kill yourself..
it will get better....
i think to the fact that you are depressed is because of your past abuse and rape. If you are old enough move out or go live with someone else you trust. You could also take anti depressants but im no doctor so i cant help you there
have faith..wherever you are..just sit down ..relax...and chant these words- nam myoho renge kyo.
talk to me if you want
and if u can,,go through these sites,,,
www.sgi-usa.org
www.sgi.org
sana30004@yahoo.co.in
It is good that you wrote to your therapist, because then she will understand. I'm sure that she doesn't think that, as she is a therapist and knows people better than what they show on the outside. Therapists don't "judge the book by its cover".
Part of what you need to accept is that you are a human being. All people are imperfect, and all relationships are imperfect. In fact, in any close relationship there is bound to be a certain amount of pain, because imperfect people (that's everyone) can't help hurting each other emotionally from time to time. You are not unusual in this; this is the way it is for everyone.
You feel different because the pain that is in you is greater than it is in some people, and so you feel you are causing greater hurt. But you are not alone in experiencing this kind of pain. Is everyone else who is hurting as much as you less worthwhile because of their pain?
What would you say to a friend who is going through what you're going through? Would you still believe she had something good to offer? Or would you tell her the kind of things you sometimes tell yourself?
Would you tell her she deserved to die? Or would you encourage her to live, and tell her that the sum total of who she is as a person is more than the pain of what she has suffered?
Start treating yourself with loving-kindness in what you do and say, because the pain you've experienced does not have the POWER to diminish your intrinsic value.
This is a very imperfect example, but say you take a $100 bill, and you spit on it, put mud on it, crumple it up, and jump up and down on it. After all that, how much is that bill worth? It hasn't changed a bit--none of that nonsense can affect the bill's intrinsic value. It's still worth $100.
People are a heck of a lot more valuable than any amount of money. You remember that. Nothing has the power to change your worth.
Relationships are messy. That's just the way they are. Watch the movie "Parenthood" and you'll see that. But it is in the midst of the mess that God works. Love may not be perfect, but it is still beautiful. Each one of us is a work in progress.
We still have sharp edges that are in the process of being filed to smooth, gentle surfaces, and we sometimes "cut" each other emotionally, even when we don't mean to--and some may cut themselves physically as punishment for the pain they feel they are inflicting on others, or to express the pain they have bottled up inside.
Love and beauty are like the trump cards in the deck. Yes, pain exists in the world, but it doesn't make the rest meaningless. Pain doesn't have the last word. In the end, we are richer because of our positive relationships, even though they are imperfect.
And people can be blessed by us too, in ways we can't even see or understand yet. Sometimes it is the very fact of our pain that enables us to bless others in ways that someone else can't.
Don't give up, because the game isn't over and you aren't counted out. When you are so flat down that you have nothing left in you to give, you are still beautiful: you are a person created in the image of God who loves you. That means more than you may know. Don't give up. God is with you.
Keep giving your pain to God, and ask Him to redeem it. He can take whatever is ugly and broken, and make it into a thing of unsurpassed beauty: like taking broken pieces of tile and creating a mosaic. Look what He did with the cross: He took an apparent humbling defeat and transformed into an exultant victory. He is amazing, and He loves us.