How do I know if I am developing anorexia?!
Question: I haven't made any effort not to eat, but that day seems to be getting closer every day. I look at myself in the mirror and my reflections in the windows when I do so I almost cry. Then I get mad when I don't work out that day. I am always trying to grasp fat on my body and then I start freaking out. I want to stop this, I don't want to hurt myself. You see I am around 90 pounds and I am about 5 feet tall. I am currently at a healthy weight, but I want to be 60 pounds, I'm really scared because I am only 14.
Answers: I haven't made any effort not to eat, but that day seems to be getting closer every day. I look at myself in the mirror and my reflections in the windows when I do so I almost cry. Then I get mad when I don't work out that day. I am always trying to grasp fat on my body and then I start freaking out. I want to stop this, I don't want to hurt myself. You see I am around 90 pounds and I am about 5 feet tall. I am currently at a healthy weight, but I want to be 60 pounds, I'm really scared because I am only 14.
Unfortunately there are some people (also doctors), that think a person don't have an eating disorder before he/she needs to be hospitalized. That is very far from the truth. People may struggle with unhealthy thoughts about food, and when someone wish to obtain an unhealthy low weight, there is reason to worry. You're having and eating disorder, and it will develop into anorexia nervosa, if you should succeed losing weight. What's important now, is to get help before that happens. Talk to someone, I would advise a doctor, school nurse or nutritionist. Tell them everything that's on your mind, and they will guide you to eat healthy. It may also be wise to tell your parents.
The doctor may send you to a therapist, which will help you set words on your feelings (this is usually optional). He/she may also make a diet, especially made for you, which will help you obtain a healthy, but low weight. You are able to take part of this diet, and decide what you would like to eat. What your doctor/nutritionist will decide is the amount of calories you need to maintain a healthy and stable weight. Your weight should also be controlled once in a while to make sure you're on the right way.
Your BMI is 17,6 (below 17,5 qualifies for anorexia), which makes you thin, but as you're developing it doesn't have to be unhealthy. However if you starve yourself to keep this weight, 90 pounds is not healthy for you. You're having an eating disorder if you're having unhealthy thoughts about your weight which may lead to underweight. Anorexia nervosa is usually diagnosed diagnosed when the patient's BMI is below 17,5, but other medical measurements may also be used, such as fat percent, blood values and more (you may also suffer from anorexia nervosa even your weight is healthy. If you're under treatment for anorexia nervosa, your weight may be on an healthy level, but your thoughts about weight and food are not, and this may harm your body. Not all fits in under all of the symptoms that "qualifies" for anorexia nervosa, but may still suffer from the disease, and it is important not to only diagnose based on these symptoms).
60 pounds may kill you, and you will most likely not be able to achieve that before you get hospitalized.
ADDED LATER: Many anorectics often describe that they have a voice in their head. The voice's only wish is to lose weight, and you may say that it is the sick part of the patient, which is divided into one healthy part and one sick part. It is important that the sick part get stronger, but without help, that may be difficult, though some manage to overcome it by themselves.
It is important to notice that the voice is not really a part of the true you. When your voice take decisions it is not you who take them. The true you may not have a wish to lose weight, but the voice keeps telling you, and hurts you mentally if you don't. As a person with an eating disorder starts to recover, this voice get weaker, and the healthy part starts to take control. "The two parts" may still argue, but the healthy part is stronger than it was. Your goal should be to defeat that voice in your head, and make yourself stronger
Hope you seek help, and get better:)
90 pounds for a person 5 feet tall is where it's supposed to be, might actually be a bit over. 60 pounds is how much my little brother weighs, and he's in 4th grade. I don't think you realize how much 60 pounds actually is, so I'll clarify for you. You'd be dead long before you hit 60 pounds.
P.S. Dont say you are "only 14" because anyone can develop an eating disorder. I'll be in 7th grade next year and I've been dealing with one for 2 years.
If you feel like you've got issues, then please talk to someone OK? Once anorexia has you in its grip, it's very hard to get free. Lots of people (especially young girls) die from this illness, and even if you recover, it can leave you with problems for the rest of your life.
Here is the official way a shrink would diagnose anorexia (this comes from the DSM-IV-TR, which is kind of like the bible of mental illness):
"1. Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height (e.g., weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85% of that expected; or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85% of that expected).
2. Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though underweight.
3. Disturbance in the way in which one's body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
4. In postmenarcheal females, amenorrhea, i.e., the absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles. (A woman is considered to have amenorrhea if her periods occur only following hormone, e.g., estrogen, administration.) "
....."Postmenarcheal females" means girls who have started having their periods. "Amenorrhea" means your periods stopping.
Take care xx