Talking about dead father, makes my sister uncomfortable. Why?!
Question: My dad died 3 years ago, and I love to talk about my dad as a way to remeber him. But my sister just gets all quiet and starts to bite her nails, and she gets really uncomfortable. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't want to talk about it. Why is she like this, she is 16.
Answers: My dad died 3 years ago, and I love to talk about my dad as a way to remeber him. But my sister just gets all quiet and starts to bite her nails, and she gets really uncomfortable. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't want to talk about it. Why is she like this, she is 16.
people progress through grief at different rates
you may have come to a place of acceptance before her and there is no right or wrong in the way it happens
find someone else to talk with and let her grieve and recover at her own pace
also: bereavement brings some people face to face with their own inevitable death and can temporarily make them feel vulnerable about mortality
She needs some space so I would be gentle with her and let her come round when she feels ready
Maybe your sister likes to forget about death and move on . I am sure your sister thinks about your dad every day like you do .
talking about ur father is ur way of coping with the loss...to each their own... ur sister may deal with it in another... first off u gotta think about how their relationship was through out life... and at the end of his life... if it was close then she possibly feels like she has to relive it everytime u talk about it with her... if it was bad its an overwhelming feeling of guilt.... being 16 is a tough age as is... which either u know or will soon found out...losing a father is hard growing up... the only thing i can tell u is to sit down with her one day and tell her ur worried about her... and u want her to talk about watever it is she would like to but that u wont be mad or upset or think any diffrenet of her for wat she is feeling or thinking...biting nails is a sign of nervousness...which really makes me kinda wonder wats going through her mind... sit with her and be there for her... she needs u even if she cant say it..
Yeah. I LOVE talking about my Dad too! He died like 7 years ago and my brothers never wanted to talk about him. I tried everything and one day I just sat there and read a poem I wrote about him and we was all crying then. When he realized he was crying he gotten mad I just held him and talked to him telling him that he needs to remember Daddy and I know it hurts but he just had to. And that there's no shame in crying over him. Also that it was okay to cry and that I was always there when he needs me.
My husband died a little over a year ago. My two daughters & I love to talk about him....remember the good times & some of his silly little ways. My daughters are in the late 30's & early 40's. Could be your sister, being so young, doesn't know how to express her feelings yet. She may be afraid to talk about her Dad because she may start to cry. Let her know that it's okay to cry & talk at the same time. Or you might suggest she write down her feelings & only you would be the one to read it.
Or, how 'bout this, ask your Sister to say just one sentence that would describe her feelings or that would describe your Dad....a small start but might loosen her up a bit. We alll know it's much better to talk about troublesome things instead of holding it in.
I wish you well.
People grieve in different ways and for different amounts of time. Also, she may not remember your father as positively as you do.
Give her space and let her process things in her own time. Hopefully there are plenty of other people you can share memories of your Dad with.
people cope with deaths diffrently, like you , you like to talk about him obviously cause you miss him too..but for her shes probably still having a harder time talking about it. i dont know, dont put her in that situation give her time, im sure she'll come around.