Help to get my teenager in a preventative program?!?!
Question: My 13 year old daughter has been getting into some minor trouble and having some major anger issues. I realize that she is probably going through some teenage "stuff" however, my ex-husband and both of his siblings have been in and out of jail/prison and have a history of drug use. I NEED to get her into a program to try and prevent her behavior from spiraling downward. But I DO NOT have thousands of dollars a month to send her to one of the programs I have googled on the net. Also I don't want to put her into like some state funded facility. I gues what I am asking is if someone knows out there any programs that work on kind of a pro bono basis or reduced priced basis.
Answers: My 13 year old daughter has been getting into some minor trouble and having some major anger issues. I realize that she is probably going through some teenage "stuff" however, my ex-husband and both of his siblings have been in and out of jail/prison and have a history of drug use. I NEED to get her into a program to try and prevent her behavior from spiraling downward. But I DO NOT have thousands of dollars a month to send her to one of the programs I have googled on the net. Also I don't want to put her into like some state funded facility. I gues what I am asking is if someone knows out there any programs that work on kind of a pro bono basis or reduced priced basis.
Why not start out with calling up your local health dept. or children and human service office to see if there's any counseling available? Most should work on a sliding fee scale, or they usually take most insurance if you have that.
A lot of times them being able to talk to someone other then a parent that will listen and they trust will help.
Big brother/Big Sister club has mentors
What have you tried already?
Sometimes sending a kid who is just starting to get into trouble off somewhere is worse for them, in my humble opinion.
A friend of mine a year ago was sent off to some kind of facility of misguided youth or whatever you want to call it because he was caught smoking weed.
He came back a few months later with a methamphetamine habbit. Didn't do him a bit of good, now he's living with his grandparents out of town and in more trouble than he was before.
I think when you do something like that to a lot of teenagers, they will just try to "push back" and rebel more. You don't want to seem too imposing, just concerned.
Talk over your concerns with her. Be open and honest. Ask her what she's doing, and for god's sake don't punish her for telling the truth. I don't care if she's injecting heroin and smoking crack while having unprotected sex. Try to make her think about WHY she is doing the things she is and where it will take her.
Lay down your expectations and tell her you're there for her, lover her, and don't want to see her mess up. Then consider a program (talk to a doctor about that perhaps). Unless she's okay with the idea, then it would probably be very beneficial.
IN RESPONCE TO YOUR 'ADDITIONAL DETAILS': This illustrates my point. She probably feels like you're turning against her or trying to control her by making her do counseling. Have a talk and start to regain her trust and work from there.
P.S. I know some of this might seem slightly counter-intuitive but I really think it's the best way. The foundation to a good relationship is trust, remember that. She must trust you.
Good luck.
See if there is a Girls, Inc. in your area.
http://girlsinc.org/
i suggest whoopin her butt... parents have this thing nowadays that spanking isnt appropriate... well im a 22 year old female and im saying kids need punishment... back in the old days kids didnt do the things they do now cause they got their butts tore up by their parents teachers and even neighbors... let her know u arent gonna stand for it... and when she throws that im calling the police ... call them urself and ask them wat are the laws about spnking ur child they will tell u anything below the belt and as long as it doesnt leave marks.... trust me my dad did it to me... second off juvy may be wat she needs... i was there... and once u get a taste of reality its not fun anymore... if talking hasnt worked it never will take charge ur the mother she is the child
YOU ARE FAILING YOU CHILD!
You blame this behavior on a man who has no role in her life. You need to evaluate the environment you and your husband have created for your child. Children mimic what they know if they live in a angry, un-safe, violent environment that is how there life will unfold.
It is your job to create a safe, nurturing, loving environment for your child to grow, heal, and thrive in. Stop placing the blame on a man who has no role in the development of your child.
I hope you go to jail if you put another hand on your daughter.
Grow up and be an adult. Accept responsibility for the life you have created for your child, and fix it.
It is not about money it is about the love you provide for your child.