How do you deal with being put down?!


Question: People always demean me. My father, my bestfriend - without even knowing it. They're the type of people who need other people to be miserable when they're miserable just so they can feel better. And they say the most hurtful things.

Also, I feel as if they're manipulating me, to actually make me feel like a horrible person. I'm always doing my best to help people, but all I get back is a big kick in the @ss and hard stab in the heart.

Have any of you gone through this, or are you going through it at the moment? If so, how do you cope?


Answers: People always demean me. My father, my bestfriend - without even knowing it. They're the type of people who need other people to be miserable when they're miserable just so they can feel better. And they say the most hurtful things.

Also, I feel as if they're manipulating me, to actually make me feel like a horrible person. I'm always doing my best to help people, but all I get back is a big kick in the @ss and hard stab in the heart.

Have any of you gone through this, or are you going through it at the moment? If so, how do you cope?

u realize that the only reason they are doing so is because everyone has an opinion... continue being a good person and remeber ur not doing anything wrong and no matter wat there will always be someone who isnt happy with wat u do ... ppl are never satisfied... thats how i cope with it... ignore them

I just let it roll off my shoulders. I am in an abusive relationship. I ignore it and consider the source. kh

I look over my scrapbook - lots of good memories and photos. It helps to look back on the good days.

The hell with that !!!! I would, and I have told family and friends to shut the hell up, or thats rude, disrespectful, condescending, etc. etc. Don't take that crap.

First you need to realize that you are your own person, and that you do not need them, and that you can stand on your own 2 feet. Next realize that you do not need people in your life who do nothing but pull you down. A true friend won't hurt your feelings, at least on purpose anyway. and your father shouldn't either. Tell them both how you feel and if they don't lighten up, then lighten up the amount of contact with them. being around negativity, rubs off on you and makes you negative.

People can only make you feel as bad as you let them make you feel.
it sounds like you are a bit of a victim.
When you realize you arent a victim-that YOU are a survivor, you will be able to stop allowing them to do that to you.

we all have a time when we feel like this just float on they will feel bad for saying what they say. Just rise above them

I went through the same thing with my parents when I was younger. People really don't realize the deep pain that hurt-full words can cause. I got to the point that I started believing them when they said things like I was worthless, and would never amount to anything. The funny thing is, I got to toss all of those put-downs back in their face later in life. I went on to have a successful career in Radio leading to to my current job as a Regional Program Director in charge of programing 7 radio stations. I make more money than they could have ever dreamed of having, and even more I love the work that I do.

I realize I don't even know you, but allow me to clue you in on something..... No matter how small people make you feel about yourself..... You are a Wonderful person! Don't let peoples negative comments get you down... You say that you always do your best to help people..... That is Great! If more people actually cared about others like you do, this world would be a better place. You Are A Good Person! Never forget that!
If things ever get so bad that you just want to vent to somebody that has been in your situation, you can feel free to email me at jam961@yahoo.com Because, I too, always like to do my best to help people out.

Take care

john

Hi
I just wanted to say my father was like this to me & for no good reason - I wasted years trying to get his acceptance & love but it never happened, instead I accepted things as they are & realised I dont need his or anyones approval as long as I feel Im doing whats right, hopefully you to will grow into a stronger more independant person.

I keep a list of all the good things I like about myself and the good deeds I've done. That really helps.

I've been there. My dad's probably the biggest self-serving jerk in the world, but I don't hate him because I look at him and consider the battles he's fighting inside and how he would never admit how much he hurts when no one is around to put down. His own dad was kind of abusive too, so he has all sorts of issues he's too proud to seek help for and admit that he even has. So when he tells me I'm a piece of crap or I'll never make it in life, I might get a little upset, but I keep loving him as best I can but keep my distance whenever possible. I am my own best friend and I know that I'm worth something, even if he thinks I'm not.

So yes, they can hurt your feelings, but they're just words and there is something going on that makes them act the way they do towards you. So if anyone has problems, it's them, not you. Just never lose sight of your value as a person.

Yeah my mum and dad are like that and occassionaly my friends. But I usually just say something back in a sarcastic way and that usually shuts them up. You can imagine what my home life is like ^o^

i just say go kill them and make them suffer a painful torturing death they deserve it





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