Please help (advice)?!
Question: please dont judge me as you dont understand the reasons that lead up to it
im 18 now, when i was 17 i quit my job because i hated myself and felt so worthless i just couldnt stand going out or being around people
but i had rent/bills to pay and ended up turning to prositution
i never go out any more as clients come to mine and i have lost contact with all my friends coz i pushed them away.
but i hate what i do so i stopped, but now im out of money and dont know what to do, i cant stand the thought of doing it one minute longer. im in contact with my dad and considering telling him-but will he push me out his life 4 good if i told he what i do? how would you react if it was your daughter? please help, im so messed up and dont know what to do.
Answers: please dont judge me as you dont understand the reasons that lead up to it
im 18 now, when i was 17 i quit my job because i hated myself and felt so worthless i just couldnt stand going out or being around people
but i had rent/bills to pay and ended up turning to prositution
i never go out any more as clients come to mine and i have lost contact with all my friends coz i pushed them away.
but i hate what i do so i stopped, but now im out of money and dont know what to do, i cant stand the thought of doing it one minute longer. im in contact with my dad and considering telling him-but will he push me out his life 4 good if i told he what i do? how would you react if it was your daughter? please help, im so messed up and dont know what to do.
I'm really sorry to hear how awful it's been for you lately. It sounds like it's been dreadful for you. There are a number of things that you need support with right now, but don't get upset or think you can't cope - I promise that if you go for the right help and assistance you'll turn it around.
The first thing you need to do is go and see your GP. It may seem strange advice but it's what you must do first. Make a short list of the worries you have with regard to low self esteem and feelings of depression - for example, feeling worthless, do you have unusual sleeping patterns, what you're diet is like and overall motivation. Tell the GP what you told us here - and specifically ask for his/her help. If there not a good GP, insist on being referred to someone who will help you. It maybe a counsellor or a support worker - just someone who can act as an impartial support for you right now and give you access to other services that maybe of use.
The next thing to do is to work out you're financial situation. Make an appointment with the Citizen's Advice (it's free and tel.no is in the phone book). Before you go, make a list of all your financial commitments - rent, food etc and what money you have coming in. They'll be able to advise you on benefits, training opportunites and local support groups in your area. Ask for help with everything you can think of and they'll direct you to the right people.
As for telling you dad, that's a decision only you can make. Will he be supportive or will he get angry? If it's the later, perhaps it may be best not to say anything, but instead tell him how depressed you are, that you're going to the doctor and would really appreciate his support right now.
And lastly, but by no mean least - don't punish yourself for what you've done or what you've not done. So you've done something you're not proud of, well don't be ashamed of it either because what you've really done is - despite how you felt and the problems you were having - you survived the best way you knew how. But from today you're gonna do things a little different and get yourself the best support and help you can access. Plough and feed your garden now and later good things will grow.
All the very best - stay strong.
Talk to you dad and get the help, money is not worth the danger that you are putting yourself in, it is never too late to turn things around!
If you were my daughter I'd have you living with me because you clearly can't cope on your own. You've shown that by the bad decisions you've made
question is.
Why did they throw you out anyway?
The best thing you can do is tell your father - believe me. Of course he may well be shocked but he will be so glad you told him as opposed to going into that world again. And he might be able to help you. Please tell him. It'll be the best decision you've ever made.
go back home and tell your dad or not, but go home then you may be able to put this behind you and start again
i think telling your dad is a good idea. if he does push you away then try to let him now by explaining in detail why you had to do what you did. not necessarily your actions but your feelings, let him know that would really strive if he lent you a helping hand. stuff happens, people change grow and forgive. even if you father isn't willing to help you someone out there is, there are places you can call, and people you can talk to, you're not alone.
If it was my daughter,i'd be mortified and do whatever it took to make her happy and well again. Above all,i would feel a terrible failure as a parent.............
Good for you you get out of that life !!!
You Father never ever is going to push you away of his life... He must love you.. you are his daugther.. You should talk with him and explain him the situation.. I think now he is the only one you can trust and can help you.
Good Luck.
one word GOD
Wow quite a 'realistic' question.
17 into prositution eh? that's illegal in this country love.
i think this question is just a joke.. well love people do actually go into prositution and its not very funny to be joking about it.
get a life.. this is just a chatroom.. dont you have anything better to do???
i realy feel sorry for you but i think you should get a job !
just get up and go look for a job! stop feeling sorry for yourself.
If you were my daughter and needed help and were willing to do the things needed , I would let you back into my life.
I would want you to be clean of drugs and sober. Be willing to be some counseling due to your prior life.
It would take time to trust you.
Also, if that does not work, there are agencies to help ex-prostitutes. look in phone book or contact you local social services agency.
Good Luck.. and stay well
why dont you get a regular job? maybe you could get a job where you dont have to deal with many people. im sorry you feel so bad about yourself- if you already know that your father will not react well then i would say dont tell him unless you think he will be there for you- I think you should see a therapist to help you to deal with whatever made you dislike yourself so much that you would turn to the lifestyle you have. i dont judge you. nobody is all good or all bad. im sure you are a very nice person and maybe you should learn how to make careful decisions for yourself- i hope it will work out for you. good-luck :) ps dont listen to the rude people who respond (ryan o) he is a low-life for doing that when you are just trying to make a positive change. its people like that who destroy hope- so dont let evil people do that to you because we all have to deal with them.
Its hard to say, I'd be quite upset and hurt that my daughter had resorted to prostitution rather than contact me to seek assistance in paying rent/bills.
You can seek help through the following:
www.womenssupportproject.co.uk
http://www.samaritans.org/ or phone 08457 90 90 90
I imagine your dad will do everything in his power to help you, but you won't know unless you ask him.
Contact Social Services as they have several things in place to help women out of prostitution and they can help set you up on benefits you are entitled to, as well as get you into groups to further your education and keep you out of prostitution.
Many women come through this and go on to lead happy, succesful lives. By starting a 'new' life you will make new friends and maybe some of your old friends will come back to you but you need to just focus on the future.
If my daughter was in your situation and she came to me for help, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Contact your dad, it will probably be the best thing you've done in a long time.
Good luck!
thats a sad thing... but believe it or not quick money attracts even the most beautiful of people... first i will say go to a labor ready place everyday and they will help u get jobs to make ends meet... second if u were my daughter id be very upset that u didnt come to me for help before going to this level... as my daughter u would mean the world to me and i would be upset to see the situations you have put urself in... some thoughts running through my head would be you coulda been killed... explain to your dad you no longer want that apart of your life and how it made u feel... i dont quite know exactally how he would respond but if it was my daughter id be hurt and trying to help to keep her from doing it while encouraging her to look another job...
So you livin' by yourself right now? If you were my daughter, I will hug you so tight b/c i luv u and miss you and glad that u are in my arms. I will help you in everything and make sure your okay. Get out of prostitution its not the answer. You should tell you father, he should understand b/c your his daughter and you want his help to get out, tell him that. I know someone who was in the same situation. She lost everything, her children, family, friends, everything. She did drugs went to jail, all that. But one day she came to my church and we accepted her with much luv and she accepted Christ as her Savior and today she is a new happy woman. Christ is the answer honey, call him and he shall answer :) I write you this with experience.
If I had a daughter who told me that you mentioned in your question, I would be shocked and maybe disappointed at first but I would never turn my back on my children, no matter what. I would help you and keep you off the stuff you did or do.
I hope you Dad is like me for your sake, but giving that up, getting a real job is a good idea. If you need money claim benefits until you find a real job. Good luck to you and keep safe.
what you need to do first is find a job, just suck it up ppl can be stupid and unbearable but... it's part of life.
then you have to talk with your father, have a nice long conversation, and don't get upset with the things he might and will say, your part is to tell him, and wait for what he has to say.
If it turns out that he doesn't want to see you anymore, then you have to be strong, like you were when you made the decision to stop to prostitute yourself.
you are a very very strong willed person, don't listen to that voice that tells you you're not worth it 'cuz it's a lie. you are very capable of things and great things will come to your life.
hope it helps
I'm sorry to here whats going on i feel for you i really do and i hope you can find some help. Yeah I think you should talk to your father and tell him that you regret what you did and that it was a mistake start from there. Maybe you can stay with him get a job and start anew. Maybe that might help if not hold on strong and don't give up alright try to get a job and keep saving until you have a goood grasp on what you want to do. I know a great place that can help you. This may sound wierd. On sundays theres a church called Kingdomhall of Jehovahs Wittnesses they are great people to talk to especially when your in need try to find a locaton and i'm a 100% sure they can help you it doesn't cost anything but there advice could help you don't get scared everything is alright you can pour you heart out to them and they won't judge you. Thats all I can say. I hope you can get better soon.
The first thing you need to do is address your possible depression, or whatever it is that's making you feel worthless, etc...
I would not tell my dad. You can never tell how someone is going to react to this. You actually know your dad better than any of us. Personally, if it were me and the same thing happened, there isn't anyone I could tell who would understand.
You have to be strong, pick youself up and roll on. Get a real job and make it work!
e-mail me. i want to council you privately. I think i can help. From one female to another. I will work with you in approximately 6 hours or so. I am a traditional healer of Chinese medicine and of their ancient thoughts. I do have your answer if it will work for you.
waterinwisdom@yahoo.com
sincerely, diana
Hi Steph. Lets see if we can help you and makes things a bit more positive. . There are some, not all, but some very cruel and stupid replies. Never mind , they can't help it.
Back to you. I am assuming u are in UK???
You could contact your Dad and tell him you quit your job. You don't have to say about the prostitution period. Just tell him you messed up with your job, got in a mess with your bills etc etc. You are only 18 - this happens many many times that you get in a mess with money at this age ( I did and I am now a houseowner, car owner, family, kids , investments etc but I still messed up with rent and electricity bills when I was 17-19. But I learned eventually). Your dad will understand I am sure. Don't forget that Mums and Dads have been teenagers themselves. They only tell you the good things that happened to them, not their mistakes.
Alternatively. have you a brother, sister, aunt, uncle , or grandparents that you could turn to for some support.
For a general chat about your circumstances, why not go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They will try & help u see things more clearly. Give u some ideas and suggestions. Help you fill in forms. Help u ask for more time with your debts. Help u with other issues. Ring them tomorrow morning and make appt or drop-in - but you could end up waiting a long time.
If you think you are about to be homeless, contact your local council's housing dept. Councils have duties to help homeless people immediately but the amount of help they offer depends on your particular circumstances. Most councils have homeless persons sections; if yours doesn't, you should go to your nearest housing office to apply for help.
Hi
Its definetly worth running this by your dad, maybe his initial reaction will be shock, possibly anger - but give him time. At the end of the day you are his daughter and if he loves you then he will come round and hopefully support you.
Give it a go girl, things cant really get much worse than they are already can they!!
Good luck...................x...................
Listen to your gut hun. Not all parents will be able to accept what you have been doing and help you. We all like to believe that parents will accept us and love us no matter what we have done, however in my experience I have seen that it is not always the case.
If I were you, I would keep the prostitution bit out of the equation until you get a better read on how your dad may react. Do you feel that it is necessary for him to know that information?
If he is willing to take you in and help you, that would be great. Then maybe you could get back on your feet and get a job.
If you live in the US and your dad is not willing to take you in, there are programs that help people that are leaving the "life" and many provide housing, job training, counseling and other things. Contact Social Services in your County or First Call for Help and they should be able to lead you in the right direction.
Good luck and many blessings to you,
Michelle
howdy friend, I am not going to judge you not at all ,it is not in my nature to do such a thing,i quite understand the reason that lead to what you had made a mess up of your life,and now your conscience is trying to redeemed it self for that inflicted life you lead
It was just because you were only 17 yrs old, and you quit your job cause you felt worthless and you hated your self,and you hated to be around people and that was the reason you could not stand ,them, and you had bills and the rent, so you ended up in prositution,
Now you do not go out of the house as clients come to your house and this lead to lose all your contact with your friends
cuz you pushed them away,
you hate what you do so you stopped and you are out of money and you do not know to whom you turn to,,and you can not stand the thought of doing what you were doing a minute longer,And now you are in contact with your dad and considering telling him and you are afraid that he turn and push you out of his life,
Now this is when i come in listen love ,it was the cercumstancies that brought your present situation, do not worry your self, i am here to help you to fixe your life , and lead a different life , and you will find a lot of happiness and good people to take care of you and put on the right road , and you will find that your dad will not push you out of his life, iI think that he will accept you as you are,
The think is that you had a lot of clients and considering that you hate what you done some where or other you will meet these people and the danger is that they could compel you to revert to what you had been, So you have to build your self to be strong willed and at no time shall you fall to the prostitution
You must make a resolution not to be as you were,and you shall make your dad very happy seeing you changed and well behiave and with good morals and good virtues ,you should read a lot of psychological books so you can build a new self
i am trying to make a point , to you so you will take me seriousely and do not listen to people that talk sex, try to avoid talking about sex,and if have the urge for sex try to get married and you forget every thing, you will be very happy in the world that you create for your self.
,,,,,
Sweetie,
You arent bad, you just got into a bad situation. It is reversable . You can choose to improve and step up from the pit your are in.
First you need to realize , you made a mistake, which in sounds like you did. Then acept who you, ( not what you are) Then allow yourself to forgive yourself first and ask God to forgive you. Once you feel that you have done both and have gained emotional strength. Then you can go to your dad. To explain to him what has happened in your life. Tell him you are changing. You are growing into better ways and taking on a new direction away from the dark days of the recent struggles.
I'm a mother of 2. I love my children deeply. ( as they are true gifts and miracles from God. As I was not able to have kids, due to my health. ) I allow my kids to see me first as a mother yes, but more as a friend. As we are all humans and need someone to lean on that we can feel good around , no matter what the problems are. Right now my daughter and I are extremely close. She has opened to me , more than even her closest friends. As she knows I wont condemn her for he actions or sins, or reasons that she does things.
If you were my child I would first let you come inside and feel the warmth and comfort you once felt. Have a drink or food. Then I'd let you ease your weight you are holding onto, to just fall off your shoulders. at your own pace not mine. I would ensure you that nothing it so awful or terrible that I couldnt forgive you. As you are like me. Someone that has known pain , however it is your own pain, different form my own. We know what pain feels like.
Then I'd remind you, by saying this .......
Know that you are a miracle and gift as well. You have a better direction in life than the way you are now.
........
Something about me. I've done many things I'm not proud of, Some have changed my life in certain ways. Then some have opened new doors that I entered , and found something special in. Yet I may how gotten those things from sin. I allowed God to take them from me , and show me how to use those experiences to help me grow. Taking my pains of them, yet leaving me with the scars and memories of what it was like to go through it. So I wouldnt do those things again.
I'm sure your father , though upset or broken hearted. Will accept you as you are. Even if it mean allowing it to soak in and get past the news and information you're handing him.
Love counquers all. . Before you blurt it out though. Feel out where his emotions are at. You may want to ease out the news at a pace that will hold you firm in where you want to be.
God Bless I hope all goes well for you.
Your honesty is refreshing, but you are in need of serious help.
If you continue to seek the easy path, you'll die young of disease and disgrace. Also, the men you lay with will bring home the billions of bugs you ALL share. Do you really want the tragedy of many lives on your record?
What you need is real help from a spiritual, wise mentor.
I suggest you visit a few churches, and talk to a pastor you sense is in tune with God.
Most aren't, so be careful.
Sex is the most wondrous part of life, and you've really blown it. There is a way back, but you need to take a turn, and never look back. Money is not as needed as you think. Look around you, and see what it has bought you. JUNK.
There is a divine spark inside you, or you'd just give up, and become a toothless, bruised girl...ever-descending; You're better than that.
Get some help. There are some in this world placed here just for you.
If you pray with all your heart, then go look, you'll find them.
.