Estranged from 16 y/o child and trying to make contact?!
Question: I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Manic Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Agoraphobia, Paranoia, and mild schizophrenia. Eight years ago I lost custody of my daughter. Now 8 years later I have found her on Myspace. I'm torn. I want to request to be friends. Part of me knows it could bite me in the butt. Part of me really really wants to get a glimpse into her life. I know I can't let on who I am or her step family would make her close her account. It was with great excitement, surprise and a bit of sadness I found her account. I almost wish I hadn't. But I can't go back and undo what I have seen. For the past month or so I have looked at her myspace without being a friend. Yesterday her account suddenly went to "friends only." {She had lied about her age and had it so that she was 22 by registration even though she's only 16.} She has a new boyfriend and I'm guessing that's the reason for the sudden change.
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Answers: I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Manic Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Agoraphobia, Paranoia, and mild schizophrenia. Eight years ago I lost custody of my daughter. Now 8 years later I have found her on Myspace. I'm torn. I want to request to be friends. Part of me knows it could bite me in the butt. Part of me really really wants to get a glimpse into her life. I know I can't let on who I am or her step family would make her close her account. It was with great excitement, surprise and a bit of sadness I found her account. I almost wish I hadn't. But I can't go back and undo what I have seen. For the past month or so I have looked at her myspace without being a friend. Yesterday her account suddenly went to "friends only." {She had lied about her age and had it so that she was 22 by registration even though she's only 16.} She has a new boyfriend and I'm guessing that's the reason for the sudden change.
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its only natural that a mother be curious about her childs life... its sad that u went through all of this but thank god uve gotten better... i suggest either contacting the step parents and talking like grown adults or hiring a lawyer to get some kind of rights to her... IF and only IF she wants u in her life... the worst thing a parent who has had to step outta a childs life can do is to force their way back in... trust me my step mother is doing it to her children and she has messed up the relationship with all 3 of them... im 22 years old btw... i suggest if u want her back in ur life u go through the steps u legally need to take in order to A: find out if she wants u in her life and if she doesnt dont lose hope yet... later down the road she may grown up and realize things a little better and understand better... B: if she wants u in her life she has a voice at 16... and u have a voice as her mother recovered... all it would take is a lawyer and her saying she would like to see u... no matter if her new parents like it or not... done get too hurt with the step parents they obviously care about ur daughter also and are just trying to look out for her best intrest... C: be there for her ... do these things and i pray that u get to be with her... specially if she wants u to ... i wish my mother has cared as much as u obviously do
Why would you get in trouble for contacting her? I don't understand. If you are rehabilitated, then you should have every right to contact her. I think you need to contact a lawyer on this one.
i think you have the right to know some things because she is you kid . but something had to happen to happen to u for her to be taken away from you but then ur lieing to ur daughter..
Gosh that sounds so hard. I don't know what to say to you. Don't want to encourage you to break the law, but at the same time I understand a parent's desire to want to know your child. Can you wait til she's 18? Sounds like a long time, but at least you've had a glimpse of her now and know she's OK. Can you let that tide you over til she's old enough? Besides, how real would a relationship be if you befriended her with a fake profile? More bitter than sweet in the long run. Plus if you got caught making contact under a false identity, not sure that would do you too many favours legally. Good luck anyway, whatever you decide to do. You have my sympathy.
well dear i don't think you can forget about it. thats rough she has what 2 years till she is 18 i have done, it befor to talk to a family member i was not allowed to talk too i created a fake account and everything. we became great friends it bothered me a bit that i was untruthful but i found the closeness i longed for its not wrong. but if you do it make the account believeable and someone around her age .. and if you ever want help email me or something i rock with myspace... lol good luck dear i hope everything works out......Angel
Do what's legal. If you legally can't contact her, don't try. Focus on getting well so you can be a trustworthy parent for her.
her saying shes 22 instead of 16 might not be anything to worry about.
contacting her on myspace might not be the best move. You might scare her away. I know if it were me (I'm16) i would be freaked out that this person i last saw when i was eight is trying to talk to me.
Because you can care for her because of your illness doesn't mean you cant have a relationship. Maybe shes wondering the same thing you are. If you will ever see each other again. My mom is bi polar and has her manic episodes. Its scary but i still love her. Who does she live with now? If you know who contact them and ask if you could have lunch together or something. Or ask your therapist. That's what there for. To help you. And I'm sure if you tell your therapist they would be happy to help you out.
But forget the myspace. Thats not formal enough and she might not take you seriously