I feel incompetent and worthless when I fail to understand something in detail:?!


Question: Throughout my life, even during my time at High School, i felt incompetent every time i failed to understand a topic, regardless of its difficulty. Im not a stupid person, infact im quite the inverse of that; various tests have proven that i am "Intellectually gifted". Although I may be intelligence, i still doubt myself when i fail to grasp difficult topics, this leads to an overall sense of worthlessness and incompetence.

I consider my intelligence to be the only thing i can rely on in life, as I have little trust in emotions, so it makes it all the more worse for me when i feel that i am lacking in what i rely upon most.

Does anyone or has anyone ever suffered from similar problems? What is your advice?


Answers: Throughout my life, even during my time at High School, i felt incompetent every time i failed to understand a topic, regardless of its difficulty. Im not a stupid person, infact im quite the inverse of that; various tests have proven that i am "Intellectually gifted". Although I may be intelligence, i still doubt myself when i fail to grasp difficult topics, this leads to an overall sense of worthlessness and incompetence.

I consider my intelligence to be the only thing i can rely on in life, as I have little trust in emotions, so it makes it all the more worse for me when i feel that i am lacking in what i rely upon most.

Does anyone or has anyone ever suffered from similar problems? What is your advice?

Join the club! I used to feel exactly the same all through college, despite the fact that I was doing reasonably well. Now I realise the reason for feeling so: At that time, I lacked a social life and was going through a very bad time with my family. With no friends or family or support group and with being thrown into the whirlwind of college life after a quiet time in high school, I began to consider my worth solely based on my 'intelligence'- it was rather a way to make myself prove superior to the others in my classes and also to get their attention that way. I struggled so hard to do it that I felt utterly miserable every time I failed. Now I realise 'intelligence' has nothing to do with academic success. The really dumb students I have known are now successful scientists and professors! The really clever ones are doing things unrelated to what they majored in college.

Basically, try to feel good about yourself in spheres other than academic life. Do you play sports or paint or sing or dance or anything of that sort? You may be good at that and that is a real talent or skill that not everybody has. Whereas almost anyone can do well in class if they apply their mind and do hard work.

Even if you don't do painting or sports, do you have a hobby you feel passionate about? That can make you feel good too! My hbby is reading books, esp. classical literature and poetry. Not many people read such 'heavy' stuff and I feel superior to them thinking that I am getting pleasure out of doing something that they don't do. In other words those people don't know what they are missing. It makes me feel good. If you collect stamps, make yourself an expert in the field and feel good about it.

Good luck!

I am the same way. I got good grades in school but it seems when people tell me things I have a hard time comprehending! I don't know what to tell you except that!

Sometimes ish just continue to try to understand

yes, i have the same problem. i have trouble comprehending. when i was in school i didn't do well. i was put in special ed. my teacher thought i was too smart, so she had my iq tested. i scored well above average. but still till this day i have trouble grasping concepts when reading. in my case i think it's a form of add, i'm still not sure though.

i understand the situation cos i passed from it myself however, it is not the end of the world when you do not understand something, intelligence does not only mean understanding from the very start the concept and what is being explained but also understanding that you did not understand. Sincerely i believe that you should find more things that you can rely on in life - intelligence cannot be trusted completely (not even a definition of intelligence exist!)

Just read your answer on lucid dreams. You're very intelligent. We are very hard on ourselves sometimes. Everyone has different types of intelligence. Some understand certain things easily and some don't.
Getting frustrated is completely normal. The best way to overcome it is to attack those things that you have trouble comprehending.

My advice? Is to not put your identity in your intelligence. Anything you put your identity in will fail you. Say there's a guy who's identity is in women and sex...one day he meets a girl who actually doesn't want to have anything to do with him and he's gonna feel worthless, same as you. You can't do something that you see as what you are, you're gonna feel the way you do. My second advice that I've had from life experience? Having your identity in God, who made you and designed you and your intelligence, will always leave you fulfilled and comfortable and feeling like the top of the world, no matter what topics you may not be able to grasp.

I think you have company - being aware that we don't understand something yet can sure create the feeling of "being stupid" when we really aren't.

There are known barriers to understanding.

If something seems "complicated" it usually needs to be broken down into smaller pieces and each one of those smaller parts understood.

Probably the biggest barrier to understanding comes from misunderstood or not understood words.

Take a look at anything you feel you don't "get" and just find the words you need to clarify. The subject will get more understandable.

And then there is the real factor that maybe the person communicating the information isn't relaying it in a coherent manner. It's totally possible that the subject isn't worth your time either!

So you have some tools to evaluate information... some things are worth understanding, and others aren't!

Cheers,
B.B.





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories