Why am i getting pathetic, insensitive answers ? nobody is taking what im saying!
Question: Do i have any realistic hope of accomplishing my goals in life or do i just give up ?
i am lonely, isolated have no social support network, because ive never built one up - anybody that does reach out to me mainly through the net ( yahoo answers and myspace ) seem to do so because they feel sorry for me.
iam clingy, unsure of myself, have a severe low self esteem, im 30 years old i have borderline personality disorder and PTSD.
ive had a severley traumatic life so far ( bullying , abuse, assaults, injuries, homelessness etc ) - i have missed out on accomplishing anything : never been employed...never got any qualifications....never formed ' any ' relationships ever.
i have a criminal & long mental health record- my life feels fcked !!!!! ( clenched teeth )
for a while now and in the present, when i go out people have behaved in a stand-offish, abrupt, aloof manner with me - i dont know why, but ive tried to ignore it and carry one, so this also makes me reluctant to go out, because of people behaviour towards me..
Answers: Do i have any realistic hope of accomplishing my goals in life or do i just give up ?
i am lonely, isolated have no social support network, because ive never built one up - anybody that does reach out to me mainly through the net ( yahoo answers and myspace ) seem to do so because they feel sorry for me.
iam clingy, unsure of myself, have a severe low self esteem, im 30 years old i have borderline personality disorder and PTSD.
ive had a severley traumatic life so far ( bullying , abuse, assaults, injuries, homelessness etc ) - i have missed out on accomplishing anything : never been employed...never got any qualifications....never formed ' any ' relationships ever.
i have a criminal & long mental health record- my life feels fcked !!!!! ( clenched teeth )
for a while now and in the present, when i go out people have behaved in a stand-offish, abrupt, aloof manner with me - i dont know why, but ive tried to ignore it and carry one, so this also makes me reluctant to go out, because of people behaviour towards me..
First step: Calm down.
Second step: Call your doctor. If you are not on medication to calm your worries, you need to be. If you are on medication to calm your worries, it needs changed.
Third step: Write a list of what you want to change in order of priority
Fourth Step: FORCE yourself to think positive.
Fifth Step: Take the third step, look at it again and be realistic. After you put them in priority, take the first change and write down what YOU can do to make it happen. Find resources everywhere and anywhere, ask for help if need be. Don't stop until you get the first done and then keep moving down the list in the same manner.
Sixth Step: Learn to talk, not yell, and express how you feel and do so in a manner which promotes positive change.
Seventh Step: Realize change doesn't happen over night and nothing is handed to you. Everything takes work - hard work.
Eighth Step: Don't play the victim. What has happened is over and the only thing left is what you allow to trample in your head. The next time negative victim thoughts come into your head, DO something positive. Ripping up your flat IS NOT positive.
Ninth Step: Keep going over your list. Realize what is priority and what is not and what TRULY is worth the work and what is not. Some things will come with time, others you have to work on and towards.
Tenth: Everytime you complete one priority, give youself a big pat on the back. Don't give up.
you need professional help & a change of scenery
Be a waiter and connect to as many people as possible. It's a good social booster.
My god, go to thearapy and get on some medication.
wow man im sorry to hear that do you go to a dr and talk to them? start going social places alone and make new friends
You are still young and can, indeed, accomplish goals you set for yourself. Pick one thing about yourself and work on changing it. Quit picking on yourself. See the positive aspects of who you are. Don't dwell on the negative. Go to the library or bookstore and get self help books on how to improve your life. It is all up to you. It won't be easy, but what you are doing now isn't going to be an easy life either. It is your choice where your life goes from here.
The first thing you should do is to find a qualified therapist. That will help you to sort out your feelings. From your question, you sound as if you are conflicted about many things.
Whatever you do, you should not give up on yourself. I've given up many times, and then something would spur me on to keep going -- and that will happen for you too.
Again, I strongly advise you to regularly see a therapist. You did not mention whether or not you are currently under a doctor's care. If not, you should definitely not be diagnosing yourself.
This forum isn't necessarily the best place for you to find sensitive or caring answers to your questions. There are many, many, nice and helpful people here who mean well -- but there are others who can be, as you found, insensitive.
I wish you good health, happiness, and I hope that you will find the inner peace you seek.
you just need to get out and stop cutting yoursself down... no one can help you if you cant find the strenght in yourself yo believe you can accomplish what you want. I used to have a hard time believing in myself to.. really low self esteem feelings of being unwanted.
You just gotta pick yourself up, because you will be you forever... and your what makes you what you are... what kinda of job do you want in computers? do you know how to do it? cause if you do im sure u'll be awesome at it... im a graphic designer ive placed second in the northern region of alberta canada two years running. You can do stuff like that to... the job i have is amazing, and i never had the qualifications for it that they asked for or anything... i guess... you just have to try... because its like buying a lottery ticket, you get one your unlikly to win but you might get that two dollars, but if you dont get one... theres no way in hell ur gonna win anything.
Sign yourself up for what you need... because what you want... you need to.. it'll get you back on your feet =)
I agree you need a change nobody cares what you look like. Most are too involved with themselve you need a starting point like going to school. If there are any colleges in your area you should go there and take the placement test. No you are not gonna come home with and new relationship or new life so don't get your hopes up but it is a start. friends and family will come later right now you need to focus on yourself and your professional life. If getting out of town helps try looking online for a support program in another area.
First of all, this is the only time I have seen and responded
to al posting by you. I do not feel sorry for you...should I?
Only you can determine if your goals are realistic.
I never give up...but that is just me.
What is the trauma for which you were PTSD diagnosed?
How long ago did it occur?
How have you managed thus far without a job?
How do you manage without income?
Who diagnosed you with PTSD?
What are you criminal offenses?
All of these questions must be addressed before anyone
attempts to offer you guidance. If you feel (and it seems
that way) that your current trajectory is not working,
you must obtain a second or event third diagnosis.
Good luck.
Well for starters I'm borderline too and OCD.
It's so much easier for others to look on to another with the same problems.. but it seems to me you feel incredibly sorry for yourself and you are using your tragedies as excuses as to why your life is so terrible..
I can totally relate to you on the social aspect of it all because BPD is great esteem killer...
As I got older it got easier for me.. it's obviously not that way for you. I learned how to deal with disorder in a positive manner. You have to start small... you should really be hospitalized for a while, there are social workers that will come in an help you. You may also be declared disabled. You really need to think about admitting yourself. If you must tell them you are suicidal to be admitted.. then do it..
only you can change things.. i know who dibiliateing BPD is, lucking there is no PSTD in my diagnosis, but I've had a bad past too... I over came it and just had to look ahead.. it's hard believe me.. you already know...
At this point I see no hope to accomplish your goals when you are so down on yourself... you have to commit to something small and follow thru... do it in steps.. don't try to take on your whole end goal as one large action... steps.. and no matter how much you want to give up.. you have to stick with it.. you will probably quit a few times.. but just keep doing it..
believe me... you don't want this life... my uncle is 40 and still lives with my grandparent and has no life... he collects lava lamps and listens to Jadas Priest on a tape player.. is that what you want for yourself.. he doesn't work, doesn't drive, has a criminal background too and looks like a crack head...
Internet social groups do not really give you the kind of support you need because the people in these groups have not met you and do not know you. You need to come out, meet people and talk to them face to face. People can be afraid of you because of your criminal record. You might have changed but people can still disbelieve you. This is the real facts of life.
just want to give you a fact about the penis thing... In the UK the ave size is officially recorded at 5"... so your larger than average :).
about your other issues that you describe, i cant help you as i dont know a solution :)
Hey,seriously,you need to get out.What you accomplish in life is up to you,no one can tell you if you will accomplish your goals,you have to set your mind to it and do it.Is there any help available where you live? If not consider moving,maybe a change of scenery will make you feel better.But please seek help,someone to talk with in person.You need connections.I care for you even though I don't know you.May god guide you through this troubled time.
Now now calm down mate!I get your point and my advise is to ''start a new life'' make some goals and complete them if you ''fall'' stand up again you arent old you have time,go out more,dont worry about rejection or anything.If you can't accomplish your goals than go do some extreeme sports they might cheer you up and you might make new ones.This is your life you can do anything with it there is one rule STAY ALIVE .Forget all your memories about your mistakes,bad things that happened to you,etc. and go and give it another try.I greet you with 30Seconds To Mars-Battle of one
I will be blunt. It is pretty clear you know what your issues are and you want some help. Concerning the social support network, I cannot really help you there. You know your problems better than I do, so it'd be presumptuous of me to recommend anything other than to try and find people with similar interests and work on your issues. I'll just assume you're taking medication and/or regularly meeting with a psychiatrist. If you haven't already, I suggest going to a support group since you're unlikely to make lasting connections with others here, or at least with the immediacy you desire. About the job, the criminal record does not help, and the fact that you have no prior job experience is pretty bad too. Have you thought about volunteering at a religious organization or a church/temple/mosque/etc.? Explain your problems and your difficulties. They tend to be more open-minded about accepting others and if you work hard there, you could get a good reference for a job in the future. Since you are thirty without any prior work experience, you're going to need to start from the bottom, and I won't lie to you: most of the white collar jobs will be closed to you due to your past. Still, there are plenty of professions you can live comfortably off of.I suggest picking up a trade skill or even furthering your education. Hope something I've said has been helpful.
one of my best friends has borderline personality disorder he has often described to me the same sort of feelings that you have i have a hard time trying to understand were he is coming from sometimes because i can see the potental that he has. I hope that you are getting some professional help because you don't have to go through what your going through alone there are people out there that can help you work through your problems i'm afraid running away isn't going to help. I'm a big believer in finding yourself and loving yourself before you can be loved by other people when it comes down to it you have to live with yourself for ever people and friends do come and go out of our lives. i think you should find a good health care provider and work on making yourself happier and healthier if thats what you really want then you can do it. and don't let anyone else bring you down.
Well some people on here are jerks but you ... should see a therapist.
I can't help too much but ((())). I'm sure there are groups on myspace for PTSD. I can completely understand you. I feel my bipolar keeps me from achieving my goals, including marriage. The best advice I can give is to go out once in a while and try to make some social contacts. In addition to medical treatment, make sure to go to a therapist to help adjust self-harming behavior. Good luck with your disorder and also with finding a nice place to live and good job and wife.
And I completely understand about stupid answers! Lots of dummies on y!answers.
As for six inches - nothing to sneeze at. Most toys are about that size and sell quite well! Try reading up on sexual techniques to please women - certainly not because you need them (I'm sure you're great), but if you take the time to learn sex geared toward women, they will be putty in your hands!
Just breathhhh!
First I'd like to say I have Post Traumatic Anxiety Disorder and used to (and once and a blue moon still give in) to Self Injury. I am 23. I have experienced my own traumatic events. I give you this background first so that maybe you can see that even though I am not in your position exactly I do "get it".
I hate when people tell me to get therapy or professional help... although I have had it before... but I just want to yell "IF I COULD AFFORD IT I WOULD GET IT!?" So with that said, IF you can afford it... maybe the right therapist could help. When I had the financial luxury of seeing one I chose a holistic therapist who was spiritual and into energy cleansing and while I am not cured he did help me a lot.
1st things I will say-In order to get a keep a woman you cant be clingy. I know it is hard to break old habits, but I am keepin it real. Confidence is also important. I mean every dog has their day, but as an overall consensus. Size, looks, prestige dont matter as much as honestly, personality, and a good heart. SERIOUSLY!
I know that forming relationships can be hard... I like to think of the Johnny Cash version of NIN's "Hurt" to be my mantra towards them. But sometimes you gotta just put yourself 'out there' otherwise all you will do is sit and wonder why. I finally put myself 'out there' about 2 years ago and have been with the same man that long... I mean I have had difficulties making lasting relationships with friends also... but men were an especially difficult subject for me so I will say while putting myself 'out there' has been difficult ... it has also been rewarding ... and it's something I can learn from and carry on into life with me.
It's all baby steps to get where we need to go... so what about getting a serving job... depending upon the restaurant you can make some stellar money ... You can save some money for a move or to go to a trade school for a 2 year degree, etc.
Find yourself a hobby thats creative... many 'troubled' people excel in that respect (Van Gough, Dali, Sylvia Plath, etc) and put all your negative emotions (or positive) and experiences into that... you dont need training to be an artist or any type... you need passion and inspiration... and seems you might have a lot! Try to take a community art class etc. (You also never know who you might meet there!)
Try volunteer work to make yourself feel more fulfilled, soup kitchens etc. (It always helps me feel better to help others), and the type of people you will meet in these situations will be people with good hearts you'll want to connect with!
Meditation is an excellent way to clear the body and soul, so is excersize, so I reccommend doing yoga to better yourself...
(Something alone those lines)...
We (people) can easily begin to believe and become what we tell ourselves we are and what others tell us we are... so ensure yourself positive things about yourself... each morning say "My you look handsome today" or "Today will be great!" etc.
With that said I am enclosing a link to a clip from a movie I found astounding and changed my life. http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr7CcsL2K4...
Good luck and chin up!
You are pretty angry.
I think you are your own worst enemy.
It is pretty obvious you do not like yourself.
Therapy could help you begin to make plans to reach those goals of yours. Start small with the easy goals first.
As you build your confidence, you can move onto the goals that are more difficult. Best Wishes.
First off, and I say this not trying to make you feel bad, but no one here owes you or me or anyone else, anything...You are not the only person in the world, to suffer...you have a roof over your head, you have a computer, you have an income,..but because of your state of mind, you can't see beyond the unfairness life has seemed to deal you...So,...when you post the same things, day after day and people come out and don't say the things that apparently you want them too....you get angry...this is much like a person suffering from OCD...it is like a ritual...you post the same things,and expect the same answers..and when they don't appear, you get very angry...I have seen some very loving answers here, and also seen people that are suffering much more than you are...you are better off than many, but seem to be getting angry when you don't get your way...I wish you the best....but no one can help you, but YOU
What do want us to do about YOUR problems????