I've lost what little confidence I have, are there any ways to get it back?!
Question: It's hard to explain this- but this will be a straight to the point as I can make it. I have lost all self-esteem... I don't feel like I look decent anymore and that I've let myself go. I don't know if it's stress, since we do have a lot of that going on, but this started about 1 1/2 years ago and has gotten worse.
I don't know how to motivate myself to just be happy with who I am. I've had this problem in the past, but it was never this bad. I find myself crying at the drop of a hat, my body shakes, and I get so embarrassed that I do these things. I wish I wouldn't do it around my husband, he shouldn't have to deal with this...
Is there anything I can try to calm myself down or make myself feel better without sounding like Stewart Smalley?
Answers: It's hard to explain this- but this will be a straight to the point as I can make it. I have lost all self-esteem... I don't feel like I look decent anymore and that I've let myself go. I don't know if it's stress, since we do have a lot of that going on, but this started about 1 1/2 years ago and has gotten worse.
I don't know how to motivate myself to just be happy with who I am. I've had this problem in the past, but it was never this bad. I find myself crying at the drop of a hat, my body shakes, and I get so embarrassed that I do these things. I wish I wouldn't do it around my husband, he shouldn't have to deal with this...
Is there anything I can try to calm myself down or make myself feel better without sounding like Stewart Smalley?
You must first know yourself before you can fully love yourself. Try some introspection. Look inside your heart and ask yourself who you really are as a person. Then ask yourself who you would like to be in a perfect world. Work on closing the gap between those two answers. Work on fixing your personality flaws and the better of a person you become the more outwardly beautiful you will be. The whole process will raise your self esteem. jmho
talk to your doctor, it sounds like depression. have you had a baby, moved, lost a family member? any of these can trigger depression, oddly enough. talk to your doctor though.
listen to the song "put your records on" by corinne bailey rae. it's a real feel good song.
It sounds like you are depressed. If so you may need to see a doctor. Anytime you notice a change in mood or a feeling of worthlessness that persists for several weeks you should seek help. You may just need to make some life style changes, exercise, new diet, meditation etc. Or you might need therapy and/or medication to deal with our feelings. You can feel better but you may need medical help to do so.
I would be a therapist because maybe you are depressed. Gandhi said to "be the change you wish to see in the world," but I also feel like this applies to ourselves. You want to be confident, pretend you are confident and then you will believe it. Write down all the reasons you think you should be confident. You are smart, you are loving, you are a good person, you have a great husband, you are a good cook, etc. Put it up on the wall if you want to. A lot of confidence has to do with posture. Ballet helped me have great posture. Shoulders back, chin up, stomach pulled in. You will feel confident if you do this all the time, NO SLOUCHING! I hope this helps!
See self confidence, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 38. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT version for use in public places, a good tryout, to see if it helps you (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage, or lightly tap your temples). A direct link to it is on page 3c, where starred * and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o also refer. These will help you in establishing a solid sense of identity, and allow you to emotionally center yourself. One way of building self confidence is to make a list of the things you do fairly well, such as using a computer, for example. If you have been discouraged by lack of success in something you have attempted: don't give up; instead, reduce your expectations of yourself, and accept that, although you may never be a world, or even state champion, you can still learn to perform reasonably well, with application, and practice. Examples are: riding a bicycle, swimming, driving a car, or painting a picture (I can do all of these, but none really well: you can do a defensive driving course, get taught properly by a swimming instructor, and do an art course). You could also volunteer, from home, at first, as shown in sections 47, 2, and 38. Then, once you have built competence, and a degree of confidence there, volunteer outside the home, where you will meet positive, supportive people. After a while, you will come to realise that you demonstrate competence in many areas, and, even though you may never be good at everything, no-one else is, either, and ultimately, its only really important to be a good person, help others, and make a reasonable contribution to the society which supports you. Some points: 1. Like yourself
The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself. You should make a list of all your positive traits and strengths on a piece of paper or in your diary. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you too have praise-worthy qualities like others. You will like yourself and feel confident about yourself after this.
2. Attend Seminars
It is good if you attend seminars where professional speakers offer you tips and guidance on gaining confidence. During the speech, you can even pick up tips on public speaking from the speakers by watching their body language and the way they project themselves.
3. Motivate yourself
Whether it is for an interview or for a presentation, tell yourself that you can do it. Motivate yourself each day and soon you will find your confidence level growing. Another good way for motivation is that after work or study each day you should make a list of at least four things that you did well for that day.
4. Overcome fears
Some people always have a fear that they can never be successful in anything they do. Such insecurity will be a disadvantage and would cause you to lack confidence in yourself and in everything you do in your life. So in order for you to get rid of this fear you have to remind yourself that if you haven