Any advice for a nutcase life like mine?!
Question: I am currently going through a divorce. I moved to another place and let my old friend stay at mine to take care of my animals. He needed a place to stay. He said he would pay the bills. Well he did not pay one bill and come to find out he was doing drugs at my home. I had to have the cops remove him and his girlfriend from my property. Then the guy I was dating went back on crack. So much has happened this week that I am now back at my home. I will finish moving all my things tomorrow. My exboyfriend from years ago is coming to visit me tonight. I am excited about that. I was in a mental hospital a month ago and have worked one week since then. I am afraid of work. I am scared of a lot of things. I have some good friends still. But I lost 4 of them this week!!! Any advice for me?
Answers: I am currently going through a divorce. I moved to another place and let my old friend stay at mine to take care of my animals. He needed a place to stay. He said he would pay the bills. Well he did not pay one bill and come to find out he was doing drugs at my home. I had to have the cops remove him and his girlfriend from my property. Then the guy I was dating went back on crack. So much has happened this week that I am now back at my home. I will finish moving all my things tomorrow. My exboyfriend from years ago is coming to visit me tonight. I am excited about that. I was in a mental hospital a month ago and have worked one week since then. I am afraid of work. I am scared of a lot of things. I have some good friends still. But I lost 4 of them this week!!! Any advice for me?
This is not always easy but I would try to evaluate whether or not some of the company you are allowing into your life are healthy. It sounds like you are short on emotional support right now or maybe in general. It creates an emotional void and an open door for people who will take advantage of opportunities when they know you are vulnerable.
I know you don't really want to die. You just want relief and resolution so you can feel that you are in control of your life. It is good that you are concerned about being helped. Given that you are in a state of turmoil and perhaps fear for your future, don't run back to familiar monsters.
Not saying to your ex is a monster- but there is a reason why you are divorced. Going back because you are in a state of crisis is going to perpetuate a pattern that will only put you in further despair if it falls apart again.
Psychiatric hospitals are good for getting a reprieve from reality but usually only result in an overwhelming sense of cabin fever. It sounds like you just needed the world to stop for a moment which is really good sometimes. But it will continue to turn and I'm not talking about daytime television programs.
You reached out on yahoo answers which confirms to me that you do not have a stable network for support. I would recommend finding what is missing in your life by replacing it with something healthy. Not abusive people who are not your friends because they are thriving on chemical dependence.
My suggestion is finding a support group or a women's group in your area. I know it sounds cheesy and uninspiring. But I am of the opinion that it would be a healthy launch pad for you to gain some insight and objectivity. This will be a form of networking that is conducive to personal growth and restoration of the energy that is required to care about yourself and climb up and out of it.
You may be afraid to go to work because you feel you will not be received by your co-workers or that they will think somethings is wrong with you and reject you during a time in which you already feel bad. It is crucial that you not dwell on self doubt and negative thoughts about yourself. Focus on your doing your job and --most of all.. do not talk to your co-workers about your problems. You may be tempted to do this because you are in profound emotional need.
It is not always best for us to walk backwards because we feel we have nowhere to go. Keep your distance from emotional vampires such as the ones you mentioned in your posting. They will be as beneficial to you as swimming with dumbbells in the waves. Seek a higher elevation but travel lightly and don't look back.
How can I give you advice when you don't give me the whole story? Why were you in a mental hospital? How did you lose some good friends??? What kind of work do you do?
My best advice would be to take better care of yourself.
Ok, if you were suicidal and depressed why did your good friends leave you? They must not be very good friends if they leave you when you need them most. I know it can be hard in a stressful situation. I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years and I loved him a lot. He had a heroin addiction but now he is clean. You need to be very careful who you let in your life and who you trust. Hopefully you have a counselor that will help you work through all the issues. I really like the book Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. He has this really unique perspective on life that suffering is a good thing because it gives us perspective and it makes us stronger. Try to think about the positive aspects of whatever is troubling you. If it is the divorce, remember that you will be a stronger person and it will all work out for the best and maybe things weren't meant to be but there is still that perfect person out there waiting for you. Take care of yourself every day. That means eating right, working out, taking a hot shower, whatever you need to make you feel happy and relaxed. When I am at a low point I just tell myself it can only get better. =)
Try to find someone (like a counselor or friend) to talk to. Just anyone. It will feel good to just release everything on your mind.
Clean up your life and start healthy habits that will get you on the road to a sane existence. You might want to start exercising, writing a journal, cooking healthy meals and just focusing on what you really want to do next. Spend some alone time.
Look back on your past and analyze what you did that lead you to this point, and try to learn from the mistakes you made. We all have a tendency to keep repeating old ways of doing things. And we need to remember that if we continue to do what we have always done, we will continue to get what we always got!
Right now you are excited about seeing an ex again. What you need to do is decide if it really is a good idea to revisit a relationship that didn't work in the past. There was a reason it didn't work out, and that reason is still hanging around. You recently trusted a friend to live in your home, and they weren't worthy of that trust. So don't make the same mistake again, with-hold your trust until someone earns it over the long term.
Take it slow and breath. You don't have to accomplish everything at once and you should take the time to review where you want to be in 30- 90 days and what can u plan for your future. Be more upfront about your needs and also be allot more diligent about who you make as friends and who can you trust and believe in . Don't always accept the first thing that it told to you and think of the possibilities that exist with you going froward with any ones ideas. They may not always be Honorable and for your won good. Pick and choose wisely your friends, acquaintances and those that dictate your life's direction. Good Luck and never give up . Gorge ahead as we all make mistakes but we learn from them and move on.. Don't dwell on the past but look to th future.