I am feeling very depressed due to stress. What do I do?!


Question: I am really overwhelmed by my work... I worry that my students don't like me and this is going to be reflected on their end-of-term evaluation of me... Then my kids are not doing their work and their exams are just round the bend... Then my mom has just come out of hospital and I worry about her health and happiness.... my aunt's son (my cousin) is not treating my aunt well... my friend is undergoing a terrible divorce and I have been supporting her emotionally... I just feel extremely helpless when all I can do is watch things unfold. Help! What do I do? I can't sleep. I have all these emotions inside me. My poor husband is complaining that I don't care about him. I am constantly scared that I might say the wrong thing. All the bad memories of my previous job keep flooding back even though I have a reasonably good job now... I worry and worry... feel more and more inadequate... help!


Answers: I am really overwhelmed by my work... I worry that my students don't like me and this is going to be reflected on their end-of-term evaluation of me... Then my kids are not doing their work and their exams are just round the bend... Then my mom has just come out of hospital and I worry about her health and happiness.... my aunt's son (my cousin) is not treating my aunt well... my friend is undergoing a terrible divorce and I have been supporting her emotionally... I just feel extremely helpless when all I can do is watch things unfold. Help! What do I do? I can't sleep. I have all these emotions inside me. My poor husband is complaining that I don't care about him. I am constantly scared that I might say the wrong thing. All the bad memories of my previous job keep flooding back even though I have a reasonably good job now... I worry and worry... feel more and more inadequate... help!

wow, you sound like me. different stories but same load of stress. first of all, i am sure that your students will give you a fair eval. you sound like a very consciencious person, and you need to take a breath. you can only do so much. i know what you mean about worry and worry, but guess what? it doesnt help to worry. so don't use the energy up. try to think what is the worst that could happen. if you get a bad eval you will most likely still have a job, and you can try a new strategy next term. i am sure the students will not be as hard on you as you think. do what you can to help your own kids but they have to take responsibility for their own work. you love your mother but you can't be responsible for her happiness. check on her and make sure she knows you love her. she will understand you have other responsibilities. as for your friend's divorce, that is tough. you can;t be her main crutch. does she have other friends and family to help her along? introduce her to y/a so she can get some supportive ideas! that will keep her pumped up for hours!:)
as for saying the wrong thing, be true to your own feelings and sensitive to others feelings and you wont say the wrong thing. all will be fine. i can tell you are a good person! oh, and as far as your cousin not treating the aunt well, it is not your responsibility. if your aunt is elderly and in danger call protective services. if she is enabling him to treat her poorly, there isnt any thing you can do. talk to your husband about what you need from him so that you will have more energy to spend on him. can he help the kids do their studying?
i wish you the best, i know how overwhelming it is, but take one thing at a time and know that others have some responsibility too.
thank you for teaching. i always try to thank a teacher, it is a VERY important role in society!

If your students dont like you, you have to ask yourself, "why?". I cant understand the amount of stress and helplessness you are feeling. I went to my doctor and he proscribed me a benzodiazapine tranqulizer (xanax valium klonopin atavain ect.) They are much more effective than anti depressents. I think perhaps a short term medication would help you to get through this hard time.

Oh Dear, it seems there is so much going on around you at the moment, but you worrying isn't going to change things. You need to take some time-out for your self, Perhaps a weekend break, just to unwind and relax.
Too much stress isn't good and we can only take so much.

If you can't get away, just try and do some meditation and breathing exercises, Put some nice relaxing music on and have some 'me' time.

Also talk to your husband about how you are feeling, and tell him you do care about him, but at the moment things are hard for you and you need his understanding.

Good luck

Do the best you can in everything thats all you can do. pray for all the others that they may be healed, motivated orwhta ever their need maybe. as for you worring does not solve anything thats why you dont sleep. fix one problem at a time because you can not do everything alone. you need nt walk on pins and needles to set yourself free be yourself that is the only way you can be true to yourself it is good you help others but you need time for you too or you will be no good to others

Aw honey, it's okay. It just sounds like you're having a really rough time right, now I believe things are bad but always get better. There's actually a theory called Gambler's Ruin; which basically states that when it rains, it pours. You're just going through a cluster of stressful events, but the rain will clear.

In the mean time, you need to relax as much as humanly possible. Too much stress can have a negative affect on your mind(As I'm sure you're well aware lol) as well as your body.

First let's evaluate what is in your control and what is not. Have you done everything in your power to teach your class? Sometimes even the best teacher gets a class--especially Senior classes-- that lack motivation. If you have tried your hardest than that should be reflected in your evaluation. So don't worry about that. Unfortauntly this translates to covering your *** because it's so late in the game. I hope you understand what I'm saying, this isn't coming out too well. Tehe?

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, but is there much you can do for her? Take a few proactive steps if you feel the need, but you can only stretch yourself too thin. That may seem selfish, but it's much better than burning yourself out. This approach can be applied to your Aunt and your friend--sometimes you really do have to take some 'me time'.

Your husband should understand. Explain all of your concerns to him, and he doesn't concede or offer you a little support than it's him with the problem, not you.

Search for relaxation tips on the internet, as there are tons of them and my post is long enough. :) Buy yourself some flowers and candles, takes lots of baths, and give yourself quiet time to relax--that means turning off the t.v, cell phone, computer, and going for a walk to think quietly.

I hope this helps. I'm sure things will start looking up. Take care!

I shod say ,you need to give away some of those worries you
can't handle them all make those kids at school take back the worries of there grades or there parents and there not supposed to like you school is a job you are the boss you hand out the work and it is there job to do it and come to you for explanation let the Dr. worry about moms health and mom about her happiness all those other relatives and Friends . you are helpless to others problems the only thing you can change is your Owen thank good for the job you have and let go of what you don't it is no wonder you are feeling
inadequate any one would and one more thing are you maby
taking on so many problems of outher people to avoid your owne?

Well your friends and family are lucky to have someone to go to when they are having troubles. But you need to have someone to talk to as well. I can see how you would feel overwhelmed with all that is happening to you. Just know that even though you feel extremely helpless, you are helping more then you could imagine. I have had to deal with bouts of severe depression and anxiety disorders this past year. Just having someone to listen to my problems was sometimes the only thing that kept me going through the day. So don't feel helpless. As far as coping with stress, there are some deep breathing exercises that I learned and it worked well for me. I would recommend talking to your doctor. There are other options besides medication that can help you cope. But don't feel bad if you need meds to fix the problem. You have to take care of yourself FIRST. :) I was told this little saying by a therapist, and I think it sums it all up. "If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, then you are pissing on today." I hope that is not to vulgar. So try to take it one day at a time. I have no doubt you can beat this.

it seems to me like you are taking on the weight of the world. you are just like me i'm always worried about everyone else. I can never sleep right and i'm always feeling over whelmed. my parents are going through a divorce now and i'm stressing over money. it's like everything broke at once lol. As far as the students go, you need to evaluate why they might not like you and evaluate your self as a teacher and make the changes accordingly. school will be over in a few months and next year you can make sure this doesn't happen. i'm sorry about your mom, my mom has health problems too and i too sometimes feel helpless about the situation, and that is because we are. there is nothing we can do, but your mental health is very important. my boyfriend is always telling me that stressing out about things doesn't help and that might be right but i can't help it and i def understand how you feel. i recommended taking tomorrow and spending it with your husband doing something fun. you need to take your mind of the stresses of the world around you, get a good night's sleep so you are well rested for monday.

you need to find a therapeutic situation in which you can learn new techniques to deal with your feelings & to learn that its wonderful to care for others, but if you don't save yourself first, you won't be able to help anyone else..Explain this to your divorcing friend, to your aunt, to your mom, to your husband. If they see that you are actively working to make the changes necessary to make your life manageable, they will most likely give you the space & support that you need & deserve. Don't give up hope!! You can get back to a good & balanced life..





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