Should i move out of my girlfriend's place or stick it out?!
Question: i am living with my girlfriend for a year She suffers from depression so she gets moody, agitated and verbally abusive towards me and our son by using the the S and F word. she has no focus and no consistency. she does not want to work, but she wants financial freedom. i pay for most of the rent and daycare and keep things in order within the house. I can only address the situation of her depression when she is in a good mood. otherwise with anything, she avoids or blow it off when it gets stressed. we are going to counseling but i think it wont work. She takes meds but she does not like the side effects. i try to understand and do what i can to reduce any stressful situation for her, but i fell she does not appreciate my efforts and talks down to me. She has a habit of finding fault with everyone, but will not address her own issues. she makes up excuses for doing or not doing things. she is also has no control w/ our 4 yr son and wont let me disapline him. So what should i do?
Answers: i am living with my girlfriend for a year She suffers from depression so she gets moody, agitated and verbally abusive towards me and our son by using the the S and F word. she has no focus and no consistency. she does not want to work, but she wants financial freedom. i pay for most of the rent and daycare and keep things in order within the house. I can only address the situation of her depression when she is in a good mood. otherwise with anything, she avoids or blow it off when it gets stressed. we are going to counseling but i think it wont work. She takes meds but she does not like the side effects. i try to understand and do what i can to reduce any stressful situation for her, but i fell she does not appreciate my efforts and talks down to me. She has a habit of finding fault with everyone, but will not address her own issues. she makes up excuses for doing or not doing things. she is also has no control w/ our 4 yr son and wont let me disapline him. So what should i do?
i understand ur trying to be there for her and ur son and ur trying to avoid things to keep from having her blow up on u... but instead u are enabling her to continue to do these things... FIRST the most important is ur son... my advice to u is call a lawyer and tell him ur situation... explain u want to leave with ur son... leaving ur son there isnt a smart idea, she cant take care of herself muchless a child and unless u want ur child on here posting things thats some of these kids are posting because of the issues their parent was having... ask wat u need to do since their is no marriage... take u and ur son on and i would push for her having supervised visitation until she can get her **** together... otherwise it may turn out bad... if u dont want to leave her then i suggest u put on the pants... ur paying things and taking care of the house hold... step up to her and disipline ur son whenever u see fit... other wise ur child is gonna have issues...if i were u id walk away before u end up in a situation like my father is in...because of his ranting lunatic wife who threatens to off herself if her pie doesnt come out right... cant hold a job lost all 3 of her kids to a drug addiction of hers... none of em wat to see her... all 3 of dads kids she has ran off not to mention she ran off his friends and family... now my father lives with just her and is miserable and cant wait till he passes on... could u imagine losing everyone around u because of one person u dont love anymore makes u miserable every chance she gets trust me its a noo good situation i suggest getting outta it before it gets too late...
First of all she shouldn't have to "LET" you disapline your own son! Depressions is a serious help and it sounds as if she needs deeper help then just counsoling, but most of all she needs you. I know its hard for you but its probably harder for her. She doesn't want to hurt you or your child, but depression is hard to get out of and be in and with you by her side it helps. I suggest you stay and get a backbone when it comes to taking charge. You pay for everthing and he is your son, you have a right to take charge. She needs to probably get some meds or differnt treatment. You guys can't go on like this forever, so I say stay and get differnt help. If she is truly not willing then you need to look at all your options and do whats best for you and your son. Best of luck to you!
If counseling shows no progress, I would have to say move you and your child into a different apartment. The home is supposed to be the most relaxing place in a person's day to day life. I personally could never see myself living in misery day in and day out for years.
Wow! What a situation you are in, you did mention you are going to counseling but for how long? Maybe you should give counseling at least 6 months or a year to see if things approve between the both of you. In the mean time, if you honestly feel like it isn't goin to work then you should leave, but I also think that you should petition a court for full custody of your child. I would hate to have something bad happen to your son if the mother gets real mad at him and you are not around for it. Too many stories in the news these days about parents hurting or even killing their children when they have severe mental issues. Good luck to you!
If I were you, I'd set up individual sessions with the counselor & talk over these very things you've brought up here. The counselor, if good, will then only converse with you in a way in which you will come up with the answer for yourself, as you feel is best for you. People can give you advice as to whether you should stay - or go - all day long; but, it won't do any good until / unless you come up with the answer yourself as to how you should best handle this - for you.
DO think of yourself, though, first & foremost - and NOT what you feel is best for her. I say this because after reading what you've written, it doesn't sound like she's thinking of your best interests; therefore, you definitely need to. I hope I'm making sense to ya?
Good luck. It sounds like a big heartache.
Hi;
Well it seems that the counselor is not doing you any good stop going and save your money for an attorney to get a divorce and fight for your child and prove she is not capable to care for your son with the depression she has believe me you will win and get custody 4 yr. is to long to live like that . you have to think about your son now along with your self while you son is still young. and let her go and get the help she really needs. and you can talk later about getting back togeather if you disire. be safe .
first of all, remove your son from the house and give him a healthier environment.