Help with family?!
Question: Today I had an argument with my dad. In the past while I grew up and I misbehaved he would beat me up (it was bad, he would hit me more even if I looked at him the wrong way) however he hasn't hit me since I started defending myself (at first I would scream at the top of my lungs, later as I grew up I would hit back and swore that if he hit me again I would call the police). While we were arguing today he accused me of being the cause of the family growing apart. I am very open with my parents and tell them about 95% of what goes on in my life, yet every time we get into an argument he uses the things I tell him (example: I told him "I corrected a classmate's paper as strict as possible bec. I don't like her", he then during the argument brought this up accusing me of not being a good christian). If anything I think that due to his abuse I am not normal sometimes. I am a good son and get really good grades, do debate, run, etc. But how am I supposed to forgive my dad and move on?
Answers: Today I had an argument with my dad. In the past while I grew up and I misbehaved he would beat me up (it was bad, he would hit me more even if I looked at him the wrong way) however he hasn't hit me since I started defending myself (at first I would scream at the top of my lungs, later as I grew up I would hit back and swore that if he hit me again I would call the police). While we were arguing today he accused me of being the cause of the family growing apart. I am very open with my parents and tell them about 95% of what goes on in my life, yet every time we get into an argument he uses the things I tell him (example: I told him "I corrected a classmate's paper as strict as possible bec. I don't like her", he then during the argument brought this up accusing me of not being a good christian). If anything I think that due to his abuse I am not normal sometimes. I am a good son and get really good grades, do debate, run, etc. But how am I supposed to forgive my dad and move on?
You are the child, and he is the adult. You can't be at fault for anything here, since you didn't create this family the parents did. They are in control of it, not you. You are hereby held blameless for anything related to causing the family to grow apart, OK?
As for hitting you, that's very serious. You should not allow that. You are right to say you would call the police, no reason you should be beaten.
As for being a good christian or not, you can only be expected to act or act out by the example your parents set. Is he conducting himself in an adult and good person manner by blaming you wrongly and hitting you, of course not!
I think the best thing to do is talk to your family doctor and ask for a recommendation for family counseling. Your father has issues and you need a professional on your side to help out. Do NOT call social services, they just pull a family apart, get your own help to sort out this problem to help make him a better father and person. He has issues he is reflecting on you and that's not right.
As for you being very harsh in your grading on a classmates paper...First ask if you can discuss your correcting with the teacher and see if she or he feels you were justified since you want to learn from this experience. Let the teacher make the call. If you were justified than your emotions aside at the time don't play into it. If they were too harsh in the opinion of your teacher than see if he or she can correct it or give you guide to re-grade it.
say your an atheist
You don't say how the "beatings" were reconciled. You say you retaliated and also threatened to call the police. So if you have succeeded in frightening him into not physically attacking you, he may be the same mean person, but using a manipulative word here and there to hurt you. You have not been any better a son than he a father. You need to go into therapy together and work on a loving caring relationship.