I am so depressed - I need advice.?!
Question: I am 47 yrs old and live with my elderly parents. I feel so trapped. I had some issues (a job lay off, debt to pay off, and a serious illness) but I am fine now except for the job. I have a dead end job.
I will be moving out but I want to wait until I get a good job. The problem is that I am so depressed I can't even look for a job! I feel STUCK! I am in therapy, and have learned some things, she said take small steps to move on. But I feel so STUCK and almost paralyzed.
Can anyone give me some good advice to help me see the light or have hope for life again? I feel like there is no hope. I'm hopeless.
Thank you,
Billie
Answers: I am 47 yrs old and live with my elderly parents. I feel so trapped. I had some issues (a job lay off, debt to pay off, and a serious illness) but I am fine now except for the job. I have a dead end job.
I will be moving out but I want to wait until I get a good job. The problem is that I am so depressed I can't even look for a job! I feel STUCK! I am in therapy, and have learned some things, she said take small steps to move on. But I feel so STUCK and almost paralyzed.
Can anyone give me some good advice to help me see the light or have hope for life again? I feel like there is no hope. I'm hopeless.
Thank you,
Billie
Billie - you're not hopeless. You're not a depressed person, you're a PERSON who happens to have depression. Many, many people do too - do you think they are losers? If you would say no, then why do you think that you are?
One good resource to help (which is free) is Mood Gym (google it). You may have to open it in Mozilla if it won't let you register when you're using Internet Explorer (or that could just be my computer!). It uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help prevent depression. It might be helpful for you.
You mention you feel "stuck". Are there any ways you can empower yourself? You live with your parents and will move out once you find a good job, but don't feel you can find a good job. Maybe you need to move out first? This could help you feel less "stuck" - it would be a step, after all, and it could help give you the motivation to find a job?
Also, it's only one option, but have you tried antidepressants? Many people are afraid of trying them because they think they might be on them for life, but this is often not the case. These drugs have given many people a new lease on life. However, they aren't for everybody and I'm not advocating that everyone with depression should use them. It's just that there are very real imbalances in the brain and these drugs can help with that.
Your counsellor is right - small steps make a huge difference! How is your eating, sleeping and exercise? When we are depressed, we often don't do a good job with these simple (but CRITICAL!) things. Why don't you choose one "thing" each week that you'd like to work on. Maybe it's eating more vegetables. Maybe it's getting out and going for a walk every day (sunshine is great too!). Maybe it's going to bed before a certain time, or not taking a nap in the afternoon. If you set small goals they will be much easier to reach, and you will feel like you are accomplishing things instead of like a failure.
I wish you the very best! You can do it :)
Reach for your goal! You want your own life, your own place, only you can get it for yourself. You have to love yourself enough to push yourself to do it. A few years ago I was in a bad marraige, with an abusive husband who hurt me and ignored my kids, and as scared and sad as I was I forced myself to move on and make the necessary changes in order to better mine and my kids life. You know that you can do it, you just have to remind yourself that you ARE strong. I wish you all the best and I am here for you if you need someone.
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts."
-henry david thoreau
Have you thought about Christ? Don't want to sound hoakey but, Jesus is the light of the world. The bible says that he came to set the captives free. Read the Gospel of Luke or John. Depression is so debilitating but, your situation is not hopeless. Be prayerful and look at today for what it is...a brand new day to start again. I'm praying for you.
I really hope that you will look at these verses from the Bible.
I feel that my belief in God and His love has pulled me through tough times (I was depressed for about a year). I hope these will help=)
Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I'm 57 and have felt like you so much. I finally changed my life and am going back to school. My dad went back at 63. Take some classes , art, drama, dancing, sculpting or with a degree in mind. You need to be around people. E-mail anytime I care {{hugs}}
Self-Esteem and Anxiety Disorders
How you think about yourself defines your self-esteem. How you see yourself defines your self-esteem. If you are hard on yourself when you make a mistake, if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if you feel like a failure every time your anxiety relapses, chances are you have low self-esteem. You probably don't like yourself all that well. If you don't like yourself, it may be difficult to believe that recovery from your anxiety disorder is possible.
Low self-esteem and anxiety may become a vicious cycle. Perhaps low self-esteem is one cause of your disorder. Perhaps years of battling your disorder have led to low self-esteem. It really doesn't matter which came first because, either way, the two are feeding on each other now. Eliminating one problem won't necessarily eliminate the other, but working on both will bring you further along the road to recovery.
Low self-esteem doesn't change to high self-esteem over night. However, the acts of being good to yourself and compassionate towards yourself will help immensely. These are acts which you may practice every day by being conscious of how you "speak" to yourself. If you have low self-esteem, there's a good chance that you are much harder on yourself than you are on other people.
Would you get angry with someone else for having an anxiety relapse? Then why get angry with yourself? Think of the words you use to comfort your friends when they relapse and give yourself the same treatment. This is a technique you may try whenever you are having critical thoughts towards yourself. You might not believe those comforting words at first, but time and practice will make a difference.
The main problem with changing low self-esteem is recognition of the problem in the first place. You might not notice that you are being critical of yourself. You might not see the connection between your self-criticism and your anxiety. Take some time to notice how you talk to yourself. You might carry a small notebook with you to write down some of these thoughts. In the same notebook, write kind, comforting words you may say to yourself when you start to beat yourself up.
I have been suffering from Self-Esteem and Anxiety Disorders since I was a child. You better consult with your doctor,it will get worse with the years because next step will be "Depression" and there is not cure [yet] for mental depression.
Depression is like a cancer,slowly will eat you up.DEPRESSION is the leading cause of disability worldwide, according to the World Health Organization. It costs more in treatment and lost productivity than anything but heart disease.We need a network of depression centers, much like the cancer centers.
Please consult with your doctor ASP,before is too late.