My 42 yr. old son was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder.?!
Question: He lives 2,000 miles away with this fiance and their 3 children. I cannot afford to visit them. What do you think is the best way to help him right now. He is seeing a therapist and is on medication. Thanks
Answers: He lives 2,000 miles away with this fiance and their 3 children. I cannot afford to visit them. What do you think is the best way to help him right now. He is seeing a therapist and is on medication. Thanks
Just be there for him/them. I know that it sounds like a cliche, but really, just let them...everyone...know that you are there for anyone who wants to talk, or just needs to vent. Trust me, he is very lucky to have you at this time. I am also 42, and have been dx'd BiPolar for about 10 years, and my Mom passed away 3 years before that. There were, and still are, so many times I wish I could just pick up the phone and call her!
Tell him how proud of him that you are, that he is STRONG enough to seek therapy, and encourage his fiance to also get some counseling of HER OWN. The kids too, depending on their ages. It would help you to understand him and her a bit better if you studied everything you can get your hands on about the disease. Living with a BiPolar person, is VERY difficult at times! I am so blessed that my hubby stayed with me through it all......Lord knows I am NOT anything like the woman he married 20 years ago.
Good Luck
Momma P
What a relief it must me to finally have the diagnosis. Just be supportive of him, and educate yourself on his condition
Diane,
Be there for him --> emotionally supporting him and his family through the rough periods ahead. You can offer your heartfelt words of comfort when he needs it, such as uttering a reassuring "I love you" often results in an immediate benefit, or at least decreases the downtime, as the case may be whenever received. Maybe you can even offer to take the grandkids for a couple of weeks/or a month or two in the summer to aid your son and his wife through their future daily ordeal by providing a necessary respite. In that way, they can both focus on their immediate needs, while you help support him mentally & get the pleasure of the grandchildren visiting for a time (the best of both worlds - a 2-for-1 special)!!!
Best of luck to you in this now & in the future!!!
The best thing you can do is buy a book. A Brilliant Madness by Patty Duke. There is another good book by Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind. Once you read, you will gain some understanding of what he's going through. Once you understand, you can really help. I myself was 42 when I was blindsided by bipolar. When I look back, I always had it, but it was so mild it was just eccentric behavior. Gets worse as you get older. For now, just send him some chocolate chip cookies to let him know you care. I wish you the best.
I am 43 and was diagnosed 2 years ago as borderline personality, bi-polar disorder and post traumatic stress. It was a huge weight lifted to finally know why my life was in the mess it had been in for so long.
I lost my home, job, my partner, and my dog because of this in less than 6 months.
The most important thing for me was to have the people in my life learn about my illnesses and understand why my behavior wasn't always "normal."
Understanding helps the ill person to feel more comfortable about talking about what's going on with them when they know that they will not be misunderstood or "attacked" because of ignorance.
All you really have to do is love him and learn about the illness just as if were diabetes or any other health problem and give the meds time to get adjusted for him. It may take a bit of time for the meds to be adjusted exactly right for him but when they get it right, he will feel better and it will make all the difference in the world.
Yay MOM! Your boy is doing all the right things. He's getting help, and he's figuring his life out. Bipolar means mood shifts. The moods can be from normal to depressed and back to normal again. The moods can be from normal to elevated (high) and back to normal. Or the moods can shift from elevated/high to depressed/low and/or normal. Some people have mild shifts in mood, and some have severe shifts in mood (really low lows, or really high highs - which can get delusional or psychotic). Medication can help balance out the moods. Most people are relieved to find out there is an explanation for the mood shifts. Your son just needs your love and encouragement. He's probably been through a lot of stress. Humor would be great - but no "crazy" jokes! He probably doesn't want you to worry or keep bringing up his illness. Just let him know you care and are there if he needs to talk. If he is prone to extreme depression, you can keep a list of emergency services phone numbers in his area. Be friendly with your pending daughter-in-law and grandchildren. If they start complaining you can perk up your listening skills. There are many very famous people who have bipolar disorder that are quite successful. Your son wants to be normal, so you can act normal to help him get back to that.