Husband lashes out violently in his sleep?!
Question: Very rarely, like 2 or 3 times a year, my husband has distressing/ violent nightmares that cause him to physically try to fight or attack. This has obviously meant that I've been on the end of his kicks and slaps at that time. The most distressing happened this week when he suddenly sat up in bed and punched me square in the face, causing great pain, some bleeding and a horrific bruise (how can I explain at work?). On waking he is confused and can't work out why he did it, but can sometimes recalls bits of the dreams (fights, being attached etc).
The funny thing is he's kindest man in the world who would run from a fight in real life. These incidences also seem to happen when he's very stressed at work.
Has anyone else experienced this, themselves or with a partner? Is there anything we can do (apart from get a second bedroom!)? He's very nervous about talking to the family doctor as he doesn't want to be put on any sleeping pills or similar that might be addictive.
Answers: Very rarely, like 2 or 3 times a year, my husband has distressing/ violent nightmares that cause him to physically try to fight or attack. This has obviously meant that I've been on the end of his kicks and slaps at that time. The most distressing happened this week when he suddenly sat up in bed and punched me square in the face, causing great pain, some bleeding and a horrific bruise (how can I explain at work?). On waking he is confused and can't work out why he did it, but can sometimes recalls bits of the dreams (fights, being attached etc).
The funny thing is he's kindest man in the world who would run from a fight in real life. These incidences also seem to happen when he's very stressed at work.
Has anyone else experienced this, themselves or with a partner? Is there anything we can do (apart from get a second bedroom!)? He's very nervous about talking to the family doctor as he doesn't want to be put on any sleeping pills or similar that might be addictive.
These are night terrors, although most commonly seen in children. It might be helpful to have your husband go to a MD and get an EEG or go for a overnight sleep study.
It can be caused by inadequate sleep, stress, sleep stage disturbances. The person usually remembers very little of the episode because it occurs in non-REM deep sleep stage.
It might also be caused by Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS).
He should talk to your family MD. Some meds are anti-anxiety meds or secondly antidepressants. However, your husband or YOU should tell his MD that he's afraid of getting addicted.
The dose he would be on would not cause addiction.
If he would be willing, he could also try counseling which could deal with his underlying stress.
As for work, just tell them the truth. Then get your husband to your MD.
My father has the same thing of flailing out & kicking or slapping my mother. He also sometimes falls out of bed.
It is not that helpful because it's mostly about kids, but google: mayo clinic >>diseases>>night terrors. EDIT: Also check out narcolepsy.
Good luck
something bad has probably happened to him that he has no told you about. or maybe he don't remember and this is how his mind is telling him what happened
i have a problem kinda like that but yea i think its that he doesnt want to run away but he knows that if he doesnot leave the fight then hewill get in trouble so have him box or work out so it will relieve that stress
in also might of happen in his past
Are you sure their are no underline issues with the two of you. I have heard of people sleep walking but they can never remember anything. Funny how he remember minor details. I am not accusing him of anything. Maybe he should try saying hi prayers before he goes to bed.
He needs to talk to a mental health professional. I do this sometimes. More often than 2 or 3 times a year. I'm in therapy now. But I still have awful nightmares and sometimes lash out, especially if someone touches me while I'm asleep. I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had some things happen to me as a child and young adult. It can get better, but it takes time. I'm sorry you've been injured by this. Just like I'm always sorry to my husband when I scare him or hit him in my sleep. For me sleeping pills didn't keep me from having the nightmares. Find a psychiatrist or therapist and find out what can be done. There's no reason for you to be hurt badly because of this. They can give you two some suggestions. And no one has to know you are seeing a mental health professional. You just have a doctor's appointment like everybody else. Good luck
Years ago I was the same way your husband is .. I punched and kicked in my sleep . My wife took her life in her hands by coming to bed ...I was raised in a violent place ,. I had a lot of internalized aggression .. It came out of my subconcious in my sleep .... Happily as I got older ,these things passed and now my worst night time habit is talking in my sleep . A therapist may be able to help your husband work through these aggression issues .. but therapy didn't help me . only time did.
no i havent but i feel bad for you sleep on the couch you will be safe there till he gets rid of his problem.
This type of behavior is rare, but has been documented repeatedly. Start with your family doctor,& ask for a referral to a sleep lab for a sleep study for him. Some of the conditions are treatable, & some aren't. You can go to
http://www.mayoclinic.com
Search for sleep disorders. I wish you both good luck..