How do you build yourself back up after being an alcoholic?!


Question: I've been sober for 1 year in May. I did it on my own. AA didn't help, I always felt uncomfortable there. I can't afford counseling right now. I am still struggling with depression (I take lexapro but it's not helping much).

Are there books or CDs that helped you after becoming sober, or books in general you'd recommend even if you don't have an addictive personality?

Also, I'm leaving my office job to find a manual labor type job because I think working with my hands and being physical might give me more peace, but I have yet to know.

Thanks.


Answers: I've been sober for 1 year in May. I did it on my own. AA didn't help, I always felt uncomfortable there. I can't afford counseling right now. I am still struggling with depression (I take lexapro but it's not helping much).

Are there books or CDs that helped you after becoming sober, or books in general you'd recommend even if you don't have an addictive personality?

Also, I'm leaving my office job to find a manual labor type job because I think working with my hands and being physical might give me more peace, but I have yet to know.

Thanks.

What an extraordinary accomplishment! Kudos to you and God bless. I couldn't stomach AA either. I journal, volunteer like crazy, pray (you don't have to be any particular religion or any religion to pray or meditate), and have learned over time to recognize when I am beginning to spiral downward again and I immediately try to pinpoint the trigger(s), then MAKE myself do things that I know have proven to be helpful and healing over time. A great example is walking outdoors and just exercise in general. I know that time and time again these things have proven helpful in so many ways. Just the obvious that they help boost seratonin levels is the first reason. But when I am going downhill I have to do two things: first recognize that it's happening and second I have to absolutely MAKE MYSELF go and do what I know I need to do. I also know for a fact that if I am over tired I am very much more prone toward depression and mentally do not have the energy to combat unhealthy impulses. If I'm feeling down and start to think about going for that thing I crave, then realize I need sleep badly, it's just helpful sometimes to remember that I know for a fact I will feel better in the morning if I just go to bed.

It's like taking medicine. By now I know that these things I do to combat the depression and addictive personality are like medication I will have to take for the rest of my life in order to stay alive and have a life worth living. Yesterday I walked for the first time in a month (hurt my back and couldn't do it for a while) and suddenly (like always) I remembered how completely beneficial it is and how much I enjoy it. I will always have an "addictive personality". I just remind myself that I am choosing to substitute something else in place of the harmful addictions. It is not always easy, but it does get easier with time. The one good thing about AA is that there are people there who can share in your recovery and congratulate you on your hard work and accomplishments. Take a deep breath. You aren't lost. You're found; you just haven't figured out which direction to go. When you're lost you don't see any place to go at all; alcohol and other things do that to a person. When those things are gone, you suddenly have an unlimited number of possible directions and it's overwhelming.

As for books, I recommend books by Thich Nhat Hahn, a Buddhist monk. His books aren't about converting to Buddhism, so don't be scared off by that. The best one is The Miracle of Mindfulness. I also recommend journaling, journaling, journaling. They're are all kinds of books out there that can help you get your insides out onto paper. Keep them, share them, or do like a friend of mine: burn them. Whatever you choose, this is one of the best forms of self-therapy (if you allow yourself to be completely honest, that is).

I will say a prayer for you this evening.

work out.
get a job. get a hobby and make many good influense friends.

book- HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Office jobs will make you want to drink, or at least the one I used to have would. Manual labor, being outside and getting the exercise does make you feel a LOT better.

Great job on the sobriety, one of the biggest things that could help is to get some friends that DO NOT drink and do activities with them, they will help you say, "I can have a good time without alcohol" Keep up the good work!

Lost - You should give yourself more credit for god's sake!!! I bet your new job will help. First, it's change - Which is good. Secondly, you will be working with your hands which will keep you busy and your mind occupied. I would check with Social Services in your City - I bet you can find some free counseling. I get depressed too - I do yoga and breating techniques to relax myself and ease my aniexty. Good lord - Working in an office sucks!! Give yourself a break - and pat yourself on the back for the progress you've made on your own. I hear you on the AA meetings - Just always seemed like a place to get more problems........No offense to anyone who finds them helpful. Good luck!

You've done a great job!!!

Keep up the good work. I'm sure the new job will leave you feeling much more satisfied than being a paper pusher.

If there is ONE book any man should read it's Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. I think it would set you free in more ways than you could count. It's fantastic, and explains why so many men feel lost, disconnected, sad, lonely, angry and depressed, and what they can do about it. It would definitely help you.

God bless, and congrats again on all you've accomplished. Look how far you've come in the last year!!!

The best thing to do before you go into a new job is to remember to be true to yourself. Try and find others who are former alcoholics and give them support as well as take support from them. YOU can never, never take ONE drink, it will erase all your good efforts up to now. What a great adventure you are going on, I'm excited for you. Good luck!
Sparatwo...

Hi there,
Congrats on 1 year sober, its no easy task, I know!!
I must say that I was an addict only because I have diabetes and couldn't drink,(lol) but we are all in the same boat I believe.
I'm kinda on the same page with you about never feeling comfortable in meetings. I went, but didn't get out of them what I should have, for what ever reason. I don't know if this would work for you, all I know is that I found peace in reading the Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text Book. It isn't anything like the 'blue book' of AA, and of course you don't have to read the step work if you don't want to, but there are chapters called Whos an Addict (alcohol is considered a drug),why are we here, How it works and we do recover in that book that made my hair stand up on the back of my neck when I read them because until I read them I thought that I was the only one that was feeling the way that they just described. I hope that made sense!! Even today, I use the NA book as sort of a self help book, just for inspiration. There are some great personal stories in the back as well! Did I mention that it is alot smaller than the AA book? lol I think that sometimes it just really helps to know that I am not the only one out here in this crazy world that has feelings and thoughts like I do.

I also suffer from depression, but I am on Zoloft, I have had nothing but success with it. I was on a couple differants before the zoloft and it wasn't a good experiance at all, so I think it is just a matter of finding out which one works best for you. I was told that I would know which one worked when I stopped thinking if it was working or not! lol

You mentioned something about hoping for more peace in your life....that could mean so many differant different things that I am not even gonna try to assume one way or the other, but I find alot of mental peace from meditation. I had to learn to meditate properly (i bought a book) but once I did, I was/am sold.
If you would like to talk back and forth about this or whatever, you can email me or go to my 360.
Hope you are having a good day today! ;-)

Congratulations! Seems you are doing well and getting physical with work is good. A job to keep busy and not have idle time is good.
For your long term situation, I think an emphasis on health stuff would be of great benefit. Go to a health food store and get an herbal cleanser, such as Nature's Secret Ultimate Cleanse. After that take a round of Liver Cleanse. After that you should feel much different. That feeling might trigger a desire to "clean up" more of your life and eating healthy would certainly help you not want to go back to your old ways.
One trying to get off something and change their life should start new social situations, concentrating on something of interest that doesn't tempt you.
If you do like to read you could start reading about how to become healthier at places like mercola.com or naturalhealthnews.com. They both have books on the subject of health.
Spiritual conditions may be more important than physical. Try and make some sort of spiritual commitment that you can concentrate on. There's plenty of reading material on that of course!

In September, I'll be sober 10 years. I hear you about AA. I don't go anymore myself; it wasn't helping, in fact it started hurting after a while.

I found, when I quit drinking, that I didn't really know who I was. It took a long time to get to know myself and then, after knowing myself, to like myself. Because I started drinking very young, it was like I never grew into who I was supposed to be.

Believe it or not I read books on child development in an effort to figure out what I missed. Those helped. I also got a lot out of Pia Mellody's books early on. I did undergo therapy, but I think the books would have helped on their own.

These days I mostly read literature. Not current best-sellers--literature. Dickens, Dostoevsky, Austin, Hemingway, Tolstoy, Steinbeck, Balzac, that sort of thing. I find it builds my mind and helps me understand human nature.

It took a long time to build my self-esteem and confidence, but it was worth the time and attention I spent on it.

Celebrate being sober with a drink xD !





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